One.giant.pussy
This might come as a shocker to some of you, but I'm a Grade A WIMP. Despite having popped two kids out of an opening that was not designed for that kind of torture (I have the scars to prove it), I am truly a pansy.
Wimp, pansy, pussy, light-weight, ninny.....pick your name -- that's me. I try to hide it, and I'm usually successful, but this weekend was just the most cherry example of wimpy, pansiness, pussy-footed, light-weighted ninniness I've had in a long time.
First, I went to the optomitrist. My last visit was four years ago and my eyes have been getting tired - an indicator that I need stronger lenses. So, I went. I don't mind the optomotrist -- not nearly as much as the dentist. Of course, when I go for a cleaning at the dentist, I take a valium first. No lie. AND I have a prescription from my dentist for such visits. We won't talk about fillings.
Anyhow, this lovely woman named Monica runs me through a series of tests. I look at hot air balloons flying over roads, little green dots, and vertical and horizontal lines like it ain't no thing. Then comes the glaucoma test. The "puff of air" test. In a moment of true Queen Ninniness, I wimp out for five minutes. Finally, I ask her to sing me a song and we get the test done. No, really.
Then comes the contact lenses demonstration. I do great having another person touch and poke at my eye. I do great touching and prodding my own eye -- for a few minutes. All of a sudden, I am hit with this enormous wave of nausea. I don't vomit -- I rarely do, but I sure as hell felt like I could.
Wimp, right? Hold on, tonight's incident is even better.
While watching "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets," I decide to Google Moaning Myrtle to see if she really is the actress from the "Bridget Jones" movies (she is....almost 40 and playing Moaning Myrtle....impressive). IMDB tells me she also starred in the movie "The Girl in the Red Dress," which prompts me to remember a horror flick that TERRIFIED my sister and I in the '80s. It was called "The Lady in Red" or "The Lady in White." I had nightmares about this movie and I can remember literally clinging to my sister as we watched it on HBO.
I remember very few details otherwise. A little girl and her mom were murdered. The kid kinda looked like Fred Savage (who I was completely, madly crushing on at the time). And the kid got a nasty cut on his leg at some point. Oh, and there was an ocean-side cliff.
Anyhow, I hit up Google. Aaaaaand I found it. "The Lady in White". Only I wasn't entirely sure based on their description that it was the horror flick of my childhood. So I continued my search and found a reference for it on Chuck's Connection. There were enough spoilers there to prompt my memory....and that's when I saw the title "Did You Ever See a dream Walking?"
Ding, ding. We have a winner. I was actually contemplating buying the movie at this point, just to see what has haunted me for the last 18 years, and decide to listen to Bing sing the referenced song.
It almost killed me. I freaked out. A song from a movie I haven't seen in almost 19 years and I nearly peed my pants. Nerves of steel, I tell you.
The best part? The movie is friggin' rated PG.
Wimp, pansy, pussy, light-weight, ninny.....pick your name -- that's me. I try to hide it, and I'm usually successful, but this weekend was just the most cherry example of wimpy, pansiness, pussy-footed, light-weighted ninniness I've had in a long time.
First, I went to the optomitrist. My last visit was four years ago and my eyes have been getting tired - an indicator that I need stronger lenses. So, I went. I don't mind the optomotrist -- not nearly as much as the dentist. Of course, when I go for a cleaning at the dentist, I take a valium first. No lie. AND I have a prescription from my dentist for such visits. We won't talk about fillings.
Anyhow, this lovely woman named Monica runs me through a series of tests. I look at hot air balloons flying over roads, little green dots, and vertical and horizontal lines like it ain't no thing. Then comes the glaucoma test. The "puff of air" test. In a moment of true Queen Ninniness, I wimp out for five minutes. Finally, I ask her to sing me a song and we get the test done. No, really.
Then comes the contact lenses demonstration. I do great having another person touch and poke at my eye. I do great touching and prodding my own eye -- for a few minutes. All of a sudden, I am hit with this enormous wave of nausea. I don't vomit -- I rarely do, but I sure as hell felt like I could.
Wimp, right? Hold on, tonight's incident is even better.
While watching "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets," I decide to Google Moaning Myrtle to see if she really is the actress from the "Bridget Jones" movies (she is....almost 40 and playing Moaning Myrtle....impressive). IMDB tells me she also starred in the movie "The Girl in the Red Dress," which prompts me to remember a horror flick that TERRIFIED my sister and I in the '80s. It was called "The Lady in Red" or "The Lady in White." I had nightmares about this movie and I can remember literally clinging to my sister as we watched it on HBO.
I remember very few details otherwise. A little girl and her mom were murdered. The kid kinda looked like Fred Savage (who I was completely, madly crushing on at the time). And the kid got a nasty cut on his leg at some point. Oh, and there was an ocean-side cliff.
Anyhow, I hit up Google. Aaaaaand I found it. "The Lady in White". Only I wasn't entirely sure based on their description that it was the horror flick of my childhood. So I continued my search and found a reference for it on Chuck's Connection. There were enough spoilers there to prompt my memory....and that's when I saw the title "Did You Ever See a dream Walking?"
Ding, ding. We have a winner. I was actually contemplating buying the movie at this point, just to see what has haunted me for the last 18 years, and decide to listen to Bing sing the referenced song.
It almost killed me. I freaked out. A song from a movie I haven't seen in almost 19 years and I nearly peed my pants. Nerves of steel, I tell you.
The best part? The movie is friggin' rated PG.