mobility
a few months back, i was struck by sunday boy's mobility. he didn't like what he was doing at his job, he generally wasn't happy, so he up and went to costa rica. moved there. sold most of the little stuff he had and put the rest in storage. now he lives there at a yoga retreat and makes furniture. last i checked, he was pretty damn happy.
inspired by his yoga-retreat happiness, i went off to a yoga retreat in hawaii in march, but in my style: for a few days, followed by diving/snorkeling. there i met all these interesting people, my age and younger who had just left their lives behind for a few months/years at a time to live there. if they worked 30 hours a week (painting, cooking, cleaning, massage, etc) they got to live and eat there in exchange. at a beautiful retreat on the big island of hawaii. good deal huh? it was amazing to me though, how they all just left their lives behind. their families and friends, their jobs, etc. and i was struck by how immobile i really was. i had a city i loved, friends i loved, dogs, a house and mortgage and a job i loved. leaving for three months to live in hawaii wasn't a plausible option. and i was okay with that. i realized that those things that were holding me down? i loved them all. i wanted them to hold me down.
then my friend dave went and met this woman at BM this year. spent a few intense burning man type days with her. came back to san francisco and made the decision to move to Portland to explore this relationship. He's moving in a few days. My friend jeff met a woman in DC on a visit. he was living in oregon at the time. changed jobs, moved to DC and is dating her. a few months ago, i might have thought this was rash. extreme. romantic. but now, now, i'm envious. it wasn't worth giving up the things that tied me down when it was a chance to live in hawaii but now i wish i'm starting to wish i were more mobile, that i could up and leave my life behind for a few months, move to SoCal and give LA guy a chance.
i guess it's not that i can't. it's just that it's no where near easy nor risk-free. i guess relationships aren't risk free. but it's not really something i'm contemplating seriously, i don't think. it's just interesting that now i'm envious. wondering if it's because i'm starting to feel itchy here, whether it's because he's someone that i truly want to believe in, whether i'm just growing old and desperate. i don't know. i still love the things that hold me down. i just wish i could more easily pause it all? i guess my personality would be choosing stability over mobility.. but some things still make me wistful.
inspired by his yoga-retreat happiness, i went off to a yoga retreat in hawaii in march, but in my style: for a few days, followed by diving/snorkeling. there i met all these interesting people, my age and younger who had just left their lives behind for a few months/years at a time to live there. if they worked 30 hours a week (painting, cooking, cleaning, massage, etc) they got to live and eat there in exchange. at a beautiful retreat on the big island of hawaii. good deal huh? it was amazing to me though, how they all just left their lives behind. their families and friends, their jobs, etc. and i was struck by how immobile i really was. i had a city i loved, friends i loved, dogs, a house and mortgage and a job i loved. leaving for three months to live in hawaii wasn't a plausible option. and i was okay with that. i realized that those things that were holding me down? i loved them all. i wanted them to hold me down.
then my friend dave went and met this woman at BM this year. spent a few intense burning man type days with her. came back to san francisco and made the decision to move to Portland to explore this relationship. He's moving in a few days. My friend jeff met a woman in DC on a visit. he was living in oregon at the time. changed jobs, moved to DC and is dating her. a few months ago, i might have thought this was rash. extreme. romantic. but now, now, i'm envious. it wasn't worth giving up the things that tied me down when it was a chance to live in hawaii but now i wish i'm starting to wish i were more mobile, that i could up and leave my life behind for a few months, move to SoCal and give LA guy a chance.
i guess it's not that i can't. it's just that it's no where near easy nor risk-free. i guess relationships aren't risk free. but it's not really something i'm contemplating seriously, i don't think. it's just interesting that now i'm envious. wondering if it's because i'm starting to feel itchy here, whether it's because he's someone that i truly want to believe in, whether i'm just growing old and desperate. i don't know. i still love the things that hold me down. i just wish i could more easily pause it all? i guess my personality would be choosing stability over mobility.. but some things still make me wistful.