Pay attention, ladies!
Just for the record, I've never had any of these said to me. Really... I mean it... I'm serious... believe me.... please believe me...
Here are the worst things to say to a naked man:
I've smoked fatter joints than that.
Please tell me you just got out of the pool.
Awww, it's just the cutest little thing.
You know they have surgery to fix that?
Is it always that color?
It's OK, we'll just have to work around that.
Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
You know… I'm getting a headache.
* silence * and then... laughing, giggling and pointing.
Can I be honest with you?
This explains the size of your truck.
I’m sorry, but life’s too short and so is that.
Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
Why is God punishing me?
At least this won't take long.
I’ve never seen one like that before.
But it still works, right?
Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
Are you cold?
You know, size doesn’t... oh hell, I’m not going to lie to you.
Does it come with an air pump?
So this is why we’re supposed to judge people on personality.
And the worst thing you can say to a naked man is...
So I guess this makes me the early bird.
Here are the worst things to say to a naked man:
I've smoked fatter joints than that.
Please tell me you just got out of the pool.
Awww, it's just the cutest little thing.
You know they have surgery to fix that?
Is it always that color?
It's OK, we'll just have to work around that.
Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
You know… I'm getting a headache.
* silence * and then... laughing, giggling and pointing.
Can I be honest with you?
This explains the size of your truck.
I’m sorry, but life’s too short and so is that.
Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
Why is God punishing me?
At least this won't take long.
I’ve never seen one like that before.
But it still works, right?
Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
Are you cold?
You know, size doesn’t... oh hell, I’m not going to lie to you.
Does it come with an air pump?
So this is why we’re supposed to judge people on personality.
And the worst thing you can say to a naked man is...
So I guess this makes me the early bird.