An Easter with 'Brian'!

[mswooster]

It’s Easter Sunday today - finally - and I’ve really been looking forward to it! Not because I’m religious or anything, nor because we’re going to have this huge family dinner, but rather because it’s one of my favorite days to watch “Life Of Brian”!

I absolutely love ‘Brian’ and have made a habit of watching it on Christmas and Easter day for the past couple of years now. Of course I do occasionally watch it on other days of the year, but for some inexplicable reason I enjoy it even more on those days! I guess it’s because of its semi-religious tone.

“Life Of Brian” is arguably one of the greatest movies ever made and indisputably the wittiest, funniest, silliest and overall best comedy created! I’ve thought it over quite a bit and I think I prefer ‘Brian’ over “The Holy Grail”. I love ‘Grail’, don’t get me wrong (sir Galahad is love, the knights of Ni, the French Taunter, the coconuts, trivia on unladden swallows and my favorite quote, “What, the curtains??”) but I find that ‘Brian’ is the Python’s finest work. Their script is hilarious and their acting is at its best. There are so many lovable characters and too many side-splitting, memorable quotes to mention right now! Ohhhhh I can’t resist though! Here are some of my favorites! They’re quite a few!

Ex-Leper: Alms for an ex-leper!

Reg: Why don’t you shut up about women Stan, you’re putting us off.

Stan/Loretta: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement Reg.

Francis: Why are you always on about women Stan?

Stan/Loretta: I want to be one.

[Reg and Francis stare at him]

Reg: What?

Stan/Loretta: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me Loretta.

Reg: What??!

Stan/Loretta: It’s my right as a man.

Judith: But why do you want to be ‘Loretta’ Stan?

Stan/Loretta: I want to have babies.

Reg: You want to have babies???!!!

Stan/Loretta: It’s every man’s right to have babies if he wants them!

Reg: But you can’t have babies!

Stan/Loretta: Don’t you oppress me!

Reg: I’m not oppressing you Stan, you haven’t got a womb! Where’s the fetus gonna gestate, you gonna keep it in a box??

[Brian is caught writing on the wall]
Centurion: What's this then? 'ROMANES EUNT DOMUS.' People called Romanes, they go the house?
[frightened but belligerent]
Brian: It, it says 'Romans go home'.
Centurion: No, it doesn't. What's Latin for 'Roman'? Come on...
Brian: Aaaahh..
Centurion: Come on.
Brian: Ah! Romanus?
Centurion: Goes like?
Brian: Annus?
Centurion: Vocative plural of  'annus' is?
Brian: Anni?
Centurion: Romani. [He crosses out the 'es' and writes in 'i'.] Eunt? What is eunt?
Brian: Go?
Centurion: Conjugate the verb 'to go'.
Brian: Uh. Ire - Uh... eo, is, it, imus, itis, eunt.
Centurion: So eunt is?
Brian: Ah, Uh, Third person plural of present indicative. They go.
Centurion: But Romans go home is an order, so you must use the?
[The centurion lifts Brian by his sideburns]
Brian: The imperative!
Centurion: Which is??
Brian: Umm. Oh, oh, um... I, I.
Centurion: How many Romans?
Brian: Ah. Plural, plural... ite, ite!
Centurion:  Ite. [He again corrects the writing on the wall.] Domus? Nominative? 'Go home'? This is motion towards, isn't it, boy?
Brian: Dative, sir! [The Centurion whips out his weapon, and prepares to slit Brian's throat.] Ahh! No, not dative, not the dative, sir. Oh, Ah. Uh. The accusative! Accusative! Ah, Domum, sir. Ab domum! Ah! Oooh! Ah!
Centurion: Except that 'domus' takes the?
Brian: The locative, sir.
Centurion: Which is?Brian: Domum. Aagh! ah.[Again, the writing is amended.] Centurion: Domum... um... Understand?Brian: Yes, sir.Centurion: Now write it out a hundred times.

[The People’s Front of Judea are fighting Campaign For Frugality] Brian: Brothers! Brothers! We should be struggling together! [While Deadly Dirk is strangling him] Francis: We are! Brian: We mustn't fight each other! Surely we should be united against the common enemy! Francis and Deadly Dirk:THE JUDEANS PEOPLE FRONT??? Brian: No, no! The Romans! Francis and Deadly Dirk: Ohh yeah...
Pilate: So, your father was a Woman. Who was he? Brian: He was a centurion in the Jerusalem garrison, sir. Pilate: Weally?  What was his name? Brian: Naughtius Maximus. Centurion: [laughs loudly, but stops as soon as he realizes Pilate is staring] Pilate: Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison? Centurion: Well no, sir. Pilate: Well, you sound vewwy sure. Have you checked? Centurion: Well no, sir um... I think it's a joke, sir. Like uh... Sillius Soddus, or... uh, Biggus Dickus, sir. Guard #4 [snickers] Pilate: What's so funny about Biggus Dickus? Centurion: Well it's a joke name, sir. Pilate: I have a vewwy gweat fwiend in Wome called Biggus Dickus. Guard #1 [snickers] Pilate: Silence!  What is all this insolence?  You will find youwself in gladiatow school vewwy quickly with wotten behaviow like that. Brian: Can I go now sir? [Centurion whacks him] Aaaagh! Pilate: Wait till Biggus Dickus heaws of this! Guard #4 [snickers] Pilate: Wight! Take him away! Centurion: Oh sir, he.. he only.. Pilate: No no. I want him fighting wabid wild animals within a week. Centurion: Yes, sir. Come on, you. [He leads the still-laughing guard away.] Pilate: I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. [his face turns sly] ...Anybody else feel like a little ... giggle... when I mention my fwiend Biggus ... Dickus? Guard #1 [laughs hysterically] [He walks up to guard 2, and speaks to his face.] Pilate: What about you?! Do you find it wisable, when I say the name... Biggus... Guard #2 [tries to retain a straight face] Pilate: ... Dickus? Guards #1 and #2 [snicker][He then walks around to Guards 3 and 4] Pilate: He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's called Incontinentia. [longish pause] Incontinentia Buttocks! [The Guards just crack up laughing]Stop! What is all this? I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behaviow. Silence! You call yourself Pwaetonian guawds? You're not... [Brian runs off.] Seize him! Seize him! Blow your noses and seize him!
Biggus Dickus: Let me come with you Pontiuth! I may be of thome athithtanth if there ith a thuden crithith!
Mandy: He’s not the Messiah! He’s a very naughty boy! Nisus: Crucifixion? Good!
The controversy that was first brought on by the movie hasn’t seemed to have died out yet, even if it’s been 30 years since its release. There are still cities in the UK and Wales which refuse to screen the film saying it is ‘blasphemous’ to religion and ‘offensive’ in the portrayal of Jesus Christ. I say, hogwash! Christ is portrayed with respect and whoever is offended is a narrow minded idiot who can’t think for himself. Come to think of it, he’s the person the Pythons are making fun of in the movie, so I can see why he would be offended!

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Anyway, one would think that over the years people would be more open minded to other people’s creeds and beliefs and not take offence by the slightest joke. The Pythons were trying to criticize the fact that people follow various religions blindly, without questioning them and not even really understanding them. I do agree with the Pythons on that. I am by no means advocating against the church or peoples beliefs. I do believe however that too many wars have begun on the grounds that “My religion is better than yours” or “I was told to do so by a higher power” which are both faulty arguments to begin with. I guess as time goes by, the scenery of the world changes but people don’t; a notion which is quite unfortunate and depressing. This is also why “Life Of Brian” was funny back in 1979, and extremely relevant and ironic today.