Another sleepless night
So not drinking sucks. I have no way to escape to another world free of pain and eartly problems (like females). I thought getting stoned tonight would help, but it just made things worse. I couldn't stop thinking about things that hurt and still can't. These last few weeks have sucked so bad. This whole damn semester has sucked so much. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Why do I keep fucking up? Why do I suck at life so bad?
I guess the only thing that is going well for me right now is school. I guess that's good cuz that's what I'm here to do. But school becomes so much easier when the rest of your life is moving around cohesively. I wish I didn't have to worry about money and female and friends. I wish that was just something I could take for granted. But I can't bitch too much, I am luckier than most. Just not in the departments I want to be.
What these two nights have made me realize is how lucky I am to have such great friends. Geoff and all the guys upstairs have been super supportive and comforting. Ashley sat up and waited with me for four hours last night talking about things. Then there's always michelle and emily, who I finally hung out with together, who always cheer me up. I don't know what I'd do without them.
On a happy note I finally got stoned with Michelle. It's been a long time coming. And I got to see Bruce again, so that was awsome. And he didn't put me in any headlocks or strangleholds...lol.
For some reason I keep thinking about last year and how much I miss it. I'm having a great time at state and love going to school here. Don't regret my transfering here one bit. But I miss my friends from umich. I miss my frequent trips up to state that were always exciting. Either hanging out with Em's floor or taking care of drunk buffa, I just had that false hope that this year would be the same. Yea, I know that was stupid and things change, but I didn't think it would be so quick. It seems like I'm drifting away from all my old friends, like I hardly talk to my umich friends anymore or see the girls from emily's floor. But at the same time I am happy because I'm getting closer with my newer friends. Just seems like everything is backwards this year. O well, things will get better they always do.
I'm really hungry right now. Maybe I'll make some soup and play snood. I wish I could do homework, but it would be fruitless because i wouldn't remember any of it cuz my mind wouldn't be on it. well, that's all for now, hopefully i have something better to write about next time. much love. later player.
I guess the only thing that is going well for me right now is school. I guess that's good cuz that's what I'm here to do. But school becomes so much easier when the rest of your life is moving around cohesively. I wish I didn't have to worry about money and female and friends. I wish that was just something I could take for granted. But I can't bitch too much, I am luckier than most. Just not in the departments I want to be.
What these two nights have made me realize is how lucky I am to have such great friends. Geoff and all the guys upstairs have been super supportive and comforting. Ashley sat up and waited with me for four hours last night talking about things. Then there's always michelle and emily, who I finally hung out with together, who always cheer me up. I don't know what I'd do without them.
On a happy note I finally got stoned with Michelle. It's been a long time coming. And I got to see Bruce again, so that was awsome. And he didn't put me in any headlocks or strangleholds...lol.
For some reason I keep thinking about last year and how much I miss it. I'm having a great time at state and love going to school here. Don't regret my transfering here one bit. But I miss my friends from umich. I miss my frequent trips up to state that were always exciting. Either hanging out with Em's floor or taking care of drunk buffa, I just had that false hope that this year would be the same. Yea, I know that was stupid and things change, but I didn't think it would be so quick. It seems like I'm drifting away from all my old friends, like I hardly talk to my umich friends anymore or see the girls from emily's floor. But at the same time I am happy because I'm getting closer with my newer friends. Just seems like everything is backwards this year. O well, things will get better they always do.
I'm really hungry right now. Maybe I'll make some soup and play snood. I wish I could do homework, but it would be fruitless because i wouldn't remember any of it cuz my mind wouldn't be on it. well, that's all for now, hopefully i have something better to write about next time. much love. later player.