my life!
So ya today kinda sucked! Its true i didnt have any classes, but ive been sick! I did get alot done today tho. I opened my checking account ((I get kool MSU sport checks)) and the first box is free, now how cool is that!! ok yes i know im a dork. I got my perscripion refilled, sold my ND ticket for $80.00, wrote a letter to Ahmed, and went grocrey shopping ((i do need to eat)).
When I wasnt out doing that I was stuck home thinking. I have came to a few conclusions today if any of you really do care then go ahead and read on, if not then I suggest you stop here!!
First off I was thinking about this whole Paul thing, I know I said he was an asshole, I know I said I was done w/ him. But when it really comes down to it im not. I said those things b/c I was pissed off and mad. Now that I have thought about it and have talked to him about what happend i have realized that I do still care for him and I cant just drop him like that. He started talking to me the other day, and he aplogized for what he did. I know some of you think he doesnt mean it, and that he will just do it again, but I believe that everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves another chance. Shit I know im not perfect and I know i have made some horrible choices in the past, some to which i would like a 2nd chance, and I know everyone is like that. Everyone has a time they wish they could take back and do over. I believe that Paul truly ment what he said. Most of you havent seen him in the light I have most of you just know him from what I say or what uve seen. I guess that kinda sounds like im trying to get approval to forgive him. Thats one thing im not doing, ill forgive him if I want to, but I do want my friends to understand where im coming from and not to hate him. Thats one thing I am scared of, my friends not likeing someone im seeing. But then again if my friends do hate him, and will hate him from now on, then I guess so be it, b/c I really do care for him, and I really do want things to work out between us!! And shit in the end if he does do this to me again, you all can say see I told you this would happen, and I wont have anyone but myself to blam for my heartbreak!
The other thing I was thinking about is how people are trying to change my mind on joining the Army. Ok people if you dont agree with what I want to do then thats fine im not asking you to, but stop trying to talk me out of it. Your not gonna scare me by having me talk to people that have been through it and hated it, your just not gonna get me to change my mind! If I want to do this Im going to, and if I decided not to do it, its NOT gonna be because you talked me out of it, its gonna be because I felt it wasnt right for me. As of now it stands that I am going to join the army as soon as I get accepted to vet school. So STOP trying to talk me out of it. Im 20 yrs. old im a big girl now and Im sick of people trying to tell me what to do w/ my life. I have my life planned out and If you dont like it then so what you dont have to live it. Now dont get me wrong Im not talking to the people who are scared and worried about me, b/c in all honesty Im scared about it to, and I understand if your worried that shows you care for me. Im just talking to the few that are trying to talk me out of doing it. You wouldnt like it if I tired talking you out of something that you had ur heart set on doing. So dont do it to me!! Im sorry if i sound like a bitch but honestly im sick of people trying to run my life. Just becuause you know someone that didnt like the military doesnt mean Ill hate it. Im doing my research and I still have about 2 years to decided if this is something I really want to do. I guess basically what Im trying to say is Im gonna do what I want to do w/ my life and your just wasting your time by trying to talk me out of it. Like my mommy says im a big girl now I can make my own decisions. Oh and one more thing, my mom isnt even the one trying to talk me out of this. Yes she is scared for me and worried about me joining but that is to be expected. She does realize this is something that im really considering and she does support me 100%. Im not asking everyone to support me 100% ((even tho that would be nice)), just dont try to talk me out of it cuz its not gonna work!!
Thats about all the insight I have for today. Thats alot of thinking for me expically since im sick!! I guess I should get some kind of homework done tonight
peace
~Tiffany~
When I wasnt out doing that I was stuck home thinking. I have came to a few conclusions today if any of you really do care then go ahead and read on, if not then I suggest you stop here!!
First off I was thinking about this whole Paul thing, I know I said he was an asshole, I know I said I was done w/ him. But when it really comes down to it im not. I said those things b/c I was pissed off and mad. Now that I have thought about it and have talked to him about what happend i have realized that I do still care for him and I cant just drop him like that. He started talking to me the other day, and he aplogized for what he did. I know some of you think he doesnt mean it, and that he will just do it again, but I believe that everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves another chance. Shit I know im not perfect and I know i have made some horrible choices in the past, some to which i would like a 2nd chance, and I know everyone is like that. Everyone has a time they wish they could take back and do over. I believe that Paul truly ment what he said. Most of you havent seen him in the light I have most of you just know him from what I say or what uve seen. I guess that kinda sounds like im trying to get approval to forgive him. Thats one thing im not doing, ill forgive him if I want to, but I do want my friends to understand where im coming from and not to hate him. Thats one thing I am scared of, my friends not likeing someone im seeing. But then again if my friends do hate him, and will hate him from now on, then I guess so be it, b/c I really do care for him, and I really do want things to work out between us!! And shit in the end if he does do this to me again, you all can say see I told you this would happen, and I wont have anyone but myself to blam for my heartbreak!
The other thing I was thinking about is how people are trying to change my mind on joining the Army. Ok people if you dont agree with what I want to do then thats fine im not asking you to, but stop trying to talk me out of it. Your not gonna scare me by having me talk to people that have been through it and hated it, your just not gonna get me to change my mind! If I want to do this Im going to, and if I decided not to do it, its NOT gonna be because you talked me out of it, its gonna be because I felt it wasnt right for me. As of now it stands that I am going to join the army as soon as I get accepted to vet school. So STOP trying to talk me out of it. Im 20 yrs. old im a big girl now and Im sick of people trying to tell me what to do w/ my life. I have my life planned out and If you dont like it then so what you dont have to live it. Now dont get me wrong Im not talking to the people who are scared and worried about me, b/c in all honesty Im scared about it to, and I understand if your worried that shows you care for me. Im just talking to the few that are trying to talk me out of doing it. You wouldnt like it if I tired talking you out of something that you had ur heart set on doing. So dont do it to me!! Im sorry if i sound like a bitch but honestly im sick of people trying to run my life. Just becuause you know someone that didnt like the military doesnt mean Ill hate it. Im doing my research and I still have about 2 years to decided if this is something I really want to do. I guess basically what Im trying to say is Im gonna do what I want to do w/ my life and your just wasting your time by trying to talk me out of it. Like my mommy says im a big girl now I can make my own decisions. Oh and one more thing, my mom isnt even the one trying to talk me out of this. Yes she is scared for me and worried about me joining but that is to be expected. She does realize this is something that im really considering and she does support me 100%. Im not asking everyone to support me 100% ((even tho that would be nice)), just dont try to talk me out of it cuz its not gonna work!!
Thats about all the insight I have for today. Thats alot of thinking for me expically since im sick!! I guess I should get some kind of homework done tonight
peace
~Tiffany~