I'm lucky they didn't get me arrested ...
On Facebook many people requested that they hear about my getting pulled over in downtown Detroit and it being my parents fault. For those of you that know my parents I know that visualizing all of this isn't going to be much of a stretch. For those of you that do NOT know my parents ... I'm sorry because that's what pretty much makes this story hilarious.
Last Saturday after I was doing work in the lab my parents and I decided we wanted to see the traveling Norman Rockwell exhibit at the Detroit Institute of Arts. I, obviously, drove separately seeing as I was coming from East Lansing. After going to the exhibit (which was GREAT!) and finishing up around 6:00ish my parents decided they wanted to get something eat. Dad suggested we go to Greektown to get the flaming cheese. Who doesn't like to yell "OPA!" after lighting a block of cheese on fire?! :-)
We left the DIA on our way to Greektown and this is where it all starts to go down. Here's where all of the problems started ... 1) We were in Detroit on a weekend 2) We were in Detroit during the night of a Red Wing series game. 3) Red Wings were playing in Detroit 4) We were driving around Cobo Hall and the Greektown Casino. Because of the wonderful merging of all of these events parking was super hard to find. As we all know, or at least those of you that know my parents, my Dad would rather waste about $10 in gas driving around to find cheap or free parking rather than pay the $10 to go into a parking garage. Why you ask? Who knows. He's special. :-)
As we're driving around Dad seems to like driving in the far left lane. Okay, that's cool. But at the last minute at a four way lighted intersection Dad would decide he was just kidding on the left lane and want to drive over two lanes into the right hand turn lane. He would decide this the minute the light turned green. He would then decide out of nowhere he no longer wanted to turn left but keep going straight. Looks like I have to follow him and piss off drivers behind me trying to merge out of the left turn lane and back into traffic. My dad did this about a dozen times. During all of this there were two times I forgot to use my blinker because I was so caught off guard by my Dad's erratic driving that I was more worried about not losing them in downtown Detroit.
After about a dozen erratic driving moves the cell phone rings. Here's the conversation as it played out while driving.
Me: "Thanks for getting me honked at three times and the middle finger twice. Where in the hell are we going? Greektown is the other way."
Mom: "Yeah I know. Dad doesn't want too park in that other area either. Meters are free today so we wants to try and find a meter spot."
Me: "That's great but what about me? Usually only one meter opens up at a time. I won't have anywhere."
Mom: *Talking to Dad, ignoring me ... this is typical*
Mom: *Finally* "What did you say?"
Me: "Never mind..."
Now ... as we're having this conversation and coming up to San Antoine Road I happen to look out my window and notice a cop car there but paying more attention to the "Psychic Reading" shop.
Me: "Where are we going? Let's just go home this isn't worth it. The Red Wings are playing tonight we're never going to find a place to park next to each other."
Mom: *Once again talking to Dad, ignoring me*
Mom: "What did you say?"
Me: "Never mind ... Hey! Don't just turn like that I wasn't expecting it. You guys have to quit weaving you're going to get us shot."
Mom: "Yeah I know I keep telling your father to quit driving like this because he's going to lose you."
Me: "It's not just that, we're weaving in and out of traffic really badly and it's going to piss off the wrong driver."
MEANWHILE ... after going about two/three blocks I notice the cop car now following me.
Me: "Awesome ... just awesome. Mom, I have to get off the phone, there's a cop behind me. I think he's going to pull me over for something."
Mom: *I can see her trying to look from their car* Oh you're right. Yeah, we'll get off the phone. I think we're just going to go back home and get something to eat. It will be much easier."
*Note: IF I would have had a free hand I would have face palmed it.
Me: "I think that's best, just go ahead and drive let's get home."
Mom: "Okay, bye"
*click*
NOW ... after two more erratic turns two things dawn on me. 1) I am SO getting pulled over because the cop didn't leave me 2) I finally realize the erratic driving is because Dad has no idea in hell WHERE we are going. Sure enough ... we finally get to a street that runs parallel to the city where it's not super congested.
*flashing lights WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP*
I realize my "I am soooooo fucked level" was running high. I pulled over and my parents pulled over also and were about two car lengths in front of me. NOW ... I would like to think that at age 25 and getting pulled over before I could handle this situation. It's at this point I think my Dad still has that protective urge and forgets that I'm not 10. I also am not stupid and realized EXACTLY why I was getting pulled over. As the cop is walking to my car I am getting out all of the paperwork because I already know what's coming.
*I roll down window*
Officer: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Me: *sigh* "Let me take a stab at it ... I was weaving in and out of traffic and I must have looked drunk. I was also driving and talking on a cell phone *Note: now illegal to do in Detroit city limits* and I think I forgot to use my blinker a couple of times."
Officer: *Looked a little surprised* Yes, those reasons are exactly why I pulled you over.
Me: "Do you see that Toyota up there that pulled over also? Those are my parents. I'm following them because they wanted to eat at Greektown. The reason for the erratic driving was because I was following them and my Dad couldn't make up his mind about which lane he wanted even after the light already changed. I really am sorry sir. I was on the phone because they were trying to direct me while following them. I am also really sorry about missing using my blinker a few times. I didn't do it on purpose. I was so worried about losing them that I blanked in using it because I was more worried about missing the turn they took."
Officer: "Okay, give me your information let me run it in the computer."
MEANWHILE AS HE'S TALKING TO ME my father decides to ROLL DOWN THE WINDOW and shout from the car the entire time. It was hard to hear him over traffic because what I did catch was blips of "this is our fault she was following us" "I don't know where I'm going" and "can I get out of the car we're lost?" I know what all of you are thinking now. Had he gotten out of the car they either would have shot him or arrested him. My mother realized this to and you could see her silhouette in the car yelling/talking sternly to him. Yes that's right ... as I'm talking to the cop he is yelling out the window the entire time and I'm thinking "shut up Dad ... I got this ... shut up" and also thinking "I am totally going to owe over $300 in fines and 5 points on my license. FUCK!"
NOW ... as Dad is yelling out the window this attracts the attention of cop number two who now GETS OUT OF THE CAR and starts slowly walking towards my parent's car with his hand on his gun in its holster!!!!! I wanted to call them to warn them to STFU but I realized I'm already in trouble for the phone and to not push my luck.
*cop walks back to me - Dad STILL SHOUTING OUT THE WINDOW*
Officer: "Okay, look, I can clearly tell you are not from around here. What I'm going to do is not write you a ticket because you currently have no points on your license and it looks like you're a clean driver. What I am going to tell you is you need to use your blinker, and it would probably be best if you guys left Detroit. Be careful driving home. It is now in the computer I pulled you over. If you do happen to get pulled over again today you will not be treated as lightly and you will definitely get ticketed."
Me: "Thank you SOOO much sir!!! We will definitely get out of here."
*Officer looks up*
Officer: "What is your father shouting out the window???"
Me: *embarrassed and thinking 'well my gut tells me what I should tell you is to ignore them because that's what I usually try and do but seeing as he won't stop yelling out the window you should probably just go over there.' NOW what I REALLY said... "Sir, the entire time he's been shouting that he's lost and doesn't know how to get back onto the highway from where we are."
Officer: "I'll walk over there after I'm done here with you."
Me: "Sounds good, because I can't leave until they leave."
Officer: "Have a good night and drive safely."
Me: "Thanks, you too."
The police officer is now walking towards their car, talks to them for a few minutes, and walks back to the squad car. I am waiting for my parents to start driving away so we can hightail it out of there. I then notice that my parents aren't driving away like you should be after getting pulled over. The cop car pulls out, drives, and then stops slightly and my Dad starts to go. That's when the realization hit me ... omg my parents are being escorted to the highway by the police. We are getting a POLICE ESCORT to the highway.
About two blocks of driving all of the sudden the cops puts on his lights and sirens for a sec. Yes that's right ... the cop stopped traffic at a four way intersection. He then GETS OUT OF THE CAR and physically POINTS to the road that leads to I-75 north bound. We received a POLICE ESCORT to basically say to us "please get the hell out of our city."
Yes people, this really happened. It's been the running joke on Facebook between my mother and I. Oh yes, my family is all sorts of fruity and fun.
That was my Saturday, how was your's???
Last Saturday after I was doing work in the lab my parents and I decided we wanted to see the traveling Norman Rockwell exhibit at the Detroit Institute of Arts. I, obviously, drove separately seeing as I was coming from East Lansing. After going to the exhibit (which was GREAT!) and finishing up around 6:00ish my parents decided they wanted to get something eat. Dad suggested we go to Greektown to get the flaming cheese. Who doesn't like to yell "OPA!" after lighting a block of cheese on fire?! :-)
We left the DIA on our way to Greektown and this is where it all starts to go down. Here's where all of the problems started ... 1) We were in Detroit on a weekend 2) We were in Detroit during the night of a Red Wing series game. 3) Red Wings were playing in Detroit 4) We were driving around Cobo Hall and the Greektown Casino. Because of the wonderful merging of all of these events parking was super hard to find. As we all know, or at least those of you that know my parents, my Dad would rather waste about $10 in gas driving around to find cheap or free parking rather than pay the $10 to go into a parking garage. Why you ask? Who knows. He's special. :-)
As we're driving around Dad seems to like driving in the far left lane. Okay, that's cool. But at the last minute at a four way lighted intersection Dad would decide he was just kidding on the left lane and want to drive over two lanes into the right hand turn lane. He would decide this the minute the light turned green. He would then decide out of nowhere he no longer wanted to turn left but keep going straight. Looks like I have to follow him and piss off drivers behind me trying to merge out of the left turn lane and back into traffic. My dad did this about a dozen times. During all of this there were two times I forgot to use my blinker because I was so caught off guard by my Dad's erratic driving that I was more worried about not losing them in downtown Detroit.
After about a dozen erratic driving moves the cell phone rings. Here's the conversation as it played out while driving.
Me: "Thanks for getting me honked at three times and the middle finger twice. Where in the hell are we going? Greektown is the other way."
Mom: "Yeah I know. Dad doesn't want too park in that other area either. Meters are free today so we wants to try and find a meter spot."
Me: "That's great but what about me? Usually only one meter opens up at a time. I won't have anywhere."
Mom: *Talking to Dad, ignoring me ... this is typical*
Mom: *Finally* "What did you say?"
Me: "Never mind..."
Now ... as we're having this conversation and coming up to San Antoine Road I happen to look out my window and notice a cop car there but paying more attention to the "Psychic Reading" shop.
Me: "Where are we going? Let's just go home this isn't worth it. The Red Wings are playing tonight we're never going to find a place to park next to each other."
Mom: *Once again talking to Dad, ignoring me*
Mom: "What did you say?"
Me: "Never mind ... Hey! Don't just turn like that I wasn't expecting it. You guys have to quit weaving you're going to get us shot."
Mom: "Yeah I know I keep telling your father to quit driving like this because he's going to lose you."
Me: "It's not just that, we're weaving in and out of traffic really badly and it's going to piss off the wrong driver."
MEANWHILE ... after going about two/three blocks I notice the cop car now following me.
Me: "Awesome ... just awesome. Mom, I have to get off the phone, there's a cop behind me. I think he's going to pull me over for something."
Mom: *I can see her trying to look from their car* Oh you're right. Yeah, we'll get off the phone. I think we're just going to go back home and get something to eat. It will be much easier."
*Note: IF I would have had a free hand I would have face palmed it.
Me: "I think that's best, just go ahead and drive let's get home."
Mom: "Okay, bye"
*click*
NOW ... after two more erratic turns two things dawn on me. 1) I am SO getting pulled over because the cop didn't leave me 2) I finally realize the erratic driving is because Dad has no idea in hell WHERE we are going. Sure enough ... we finally get to a street that runs parallel to the city where it's not super congested.
*flashing lights WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP*
I realize my "I am soooooo fucked level" was running high. I pulled over and my parents pulled over also and were about two car lengths in front of me. NOW ... I would like to think that at age 25 and getting pulled over before I could handle this situation. It's at this point I think my Dad still has that protective urge and forgets that I'm not 10. I also am not stupid and realized EXACTLY why I was getting pulled over. As the cop is walking to my car I am getting out all of the paperwork because I already know what's coming.
*I roll down window*
Officer: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Me: *sigh* "Let me take a stab at it ... I was weaving in and out of traffic and I must have looked drunk. I was also driving and talking on a cell phone *Note: now illegal to do in Detroit city limits* and I think I forgot to use my blinker a couple of times."
Officer: *Looked a little surprised* Yes, those reasons are exactly why I pulled you over.
Me: "Do you see that Toyota up there that pulled over also? Those are my parents. I'm following them because they wanted to eat at Greektown. The reason for the erratic driving was because I was following them and my Dad couldn't make up his mind about which lane he wanted even after the light already changed. I really am sorry sir. I was on the phone because they were trying to direct me while following them. I am also really sorry about missing using my blinker a few times. I didn't do it on purpose. I was so worried about losing them that I blanked in using it because I was more worried about missing the turn they took."
Officer: "Okay, give me your information let me run it in the computer."
MEANWHILE AS HE'S TALKING TO ME my father decides to ROLL DOWN THE WINDOW and shout from the car the entire time. It was hard to hear him over traffic because what I did catch was blips of "this is our fault she was following us" "I don't know where I'm going" and "can I get out of the car we're lost?" I know what all of you are thinking now. Had he gotten out of the car they either would have shot him or arrested him. My mother realized this to and you could see her silhouette in the car yelling/talking sternly to him. Yes that's right ... as I'm talking to the cop he is yelling out the window the entire time and I'm thinking "shut up Dad ... I got this ... shut up" and also thinking "I am totally going to owe over $300 in fines and 5 points on my license. FUCK!"
NOW ... as Dad is yelling out the window this attracts the attention of cop number two who now GETS OUT OF THE CAR and starts slowly walking towards my parent's car with his hand on his gun in its holster!!!!! I wanted to call them to warn them to STFU but I realized I'm already in trouble for the phone and to not push my luck.
*cop walks back to me - Dad STILL SHOUTING OUT THE WINDOW*
Officer: "Okay, look, I can clearly tell you are not from around here. What I'm going to do is not write you a ticket because you currently have no points on your license and it looks like you're a clean driver. What I am going to tell you is you need to use your blinker, and it would probably be best if you guys left Detroit. Be careful driving home. It is now in the computer I pulled you over. If you do happen to get pulled over again today you will not be treated as lightly and you will definitely get ticketed."
Me: "Thank you SOOO much sir!!! We will definitely get out of here."
*Officer looks up*
Officer: "What is your father shouting out the window???"
Me: *embarrassed and thinking 'well my gut tells me what I should tell you is to ignore them because that's what I usually try and do but seeing as he won't stop yelling out the window you should probably just go over there.' NOW what I REALLY said... "Sir, the entire time he's been shouting that he's lost and doesn't know how to get back onto the highway from where we are."
Officer: "I'll walk over there after I'm done here with you."
Me: "Sounds good, because I can't leave until they leave."
Officer: "Have a good night and drive safely."
Me: "Thanks, you too."
The police officer is now walking towards their car, talks to them for a few minutes, and walks back to the squad car. I am waiting for my parents to start driving away so we can hightail it out of there. I then notice that my parents aren't driving away like you should be after getting pulled over. The cop car pulls out, drives, and then stops slightly and my Dad starts to go. That's when the realization hit me ... omg my parents are being escorted to the highway by the police. We are getting a POLICE ESCORT to the highway.
About two blocks of driving all of the sudden the cops puts on his lights and sirens for a sec. Yes that's right ... the cop stopped traffic at a four way intersection. He then GETS OUT OF THE CAR and physically POINTS to the road that leads to I-75 north bound. We received a POLICE ESCORT to basically say to us "please get the hell out of our city."
Yes people, this really happened. It's been the running joke on Facebook between my mother and I. Oh yes, my family is all sorts of fruity and fun.
That was my Saturday, how was your's???