My New Low… or so I'm told
An open letter to the person whom I pissed off on Facebook.
I'm pretty sure that curiosity is going to get the better of you and you will read this. But just in case you don't I'm putting this out there to make myself feel better.
Here is the thing. On your tirade of how insulting I've become you mentioned I've reached a "new low" by insulting sports that kids play. First off. The "insulting" of sports was not only made towards sports my kids FRIENDS play, but sports *I* have played. Sports my family members have played. And sports that my very own kids have played. There is a bit of irony here considering your kid actually played one of those sports with my son. But lets move on.
Here it is. My "sports debasing" is the FURTHEST from my new low if you know me. Or have at all been paying attention to the shit that has been going on in my life.
My "new low" was reaching the point in my mind where food stamps and the Jewish Family Childrens Services food bank was the only way my kids were going to be able to eat a meal. That "new low" also was met with the realization that I had NO way to pay our bills, facing eviction on our home just so we could have our son not change doctors, allowing him to have the medical procedures that he needed to find out why he was constantly getting sick. Here is another "new low" - that suicidal feeling I was having throughout the summer was met with the reality that if I did actually commit suicide I'd not be repairing my sons illness and probably exacerbating it.
And let's move onto something even more exciting than my "new low" of making fun of sports. Let's move onto the fact that my child has spent the better part of the year sick. Losing weight. Hours on hours vomiting on the floor of the bathroom while your children thank G-d have been sleeping in their beds. My new low includes sleeping on the floor of the bathroom next to my child in fear that my husband or I wouldn't hear him if he woke up again to vomit. Worrying about each meal he puts into his mouth uncertain of if it was going to cause him to lose more pounds that he didn't have. Watching the scale dip as low as if my 2 year old were standing there instead of my 7 year old. Watching your sons broken blood vessels in his face grow because he was puking so violently that people were asking questions regarding the "red dots" on his cheeks.
My "new lows" might have a different meaning to you. But I'll tell you another secret:
The "new low" that you have so nicely pointed out has obviously been building with you. There is no way that a normal human being could find my statement regarding what sports my son could and could not find useful in his life as the straw that truly breaks the camels back. You must've had many many grievances with me. And that is ok. People come and go in our lives. It is what it is. But I'll give you a bit of advice, your insecurities of parenting and self is what has made you truly lose your temper with me. I make fun of myself. I make fun of the place we live. Because I recognize that this life I have is a gift. Regardless of having to ask for food and money I recognize I have it 1000 times better than many in this world.
So you won't find me apologizing for my snide comments (or sarcasm if we are going to call it what it really is). But I will apologize for not giving you the opportunity to "defriend" me earlier than you'd like.
Yours truly,
The Über-hippie Anti-Marin Mom.
PS. In case you haven't had a chance take a look at my pictures…. the old and new. There is a strong possibility you need to relearn the definition of "uber-hippie" as I have yet to see a hippie looking the way I have in the past 25 year of life. It's called Goth.
I'm pretty sure that curiosity is going to get the better of you and you will read this. But just in case you don't I'm putting this out there to make myself feel better.
Here is the thing. On your tirade of how insulting I've become you mentioned I've reached a "new low" by insulting sports that kids play. First off. The "insulting" of sports was not only made towards sports my kids FRIENDS play, but sports *I* have played. Sports my family members have played. And sports that my very own kids have played. There is a bit of irony here considering your kid actually played one of those sports with my son. But lets move on.
Here it is. My "sports debasing" is the FURTHEST from my new low if you know me. Or have at all been paying attention to the shit that has been going on in my life.
My "new low" was reaching the point in my mind where food stamps and the Jewish Family Childrens Services food bank was the only way my kids were going to be able to eat a meal. That "new low" also was met with the realization that I had NO way to pay our bills, facing eviction on our home just so we could have our son not change doctors, allowing him to have the medical procedures that he needed to find out why he was constantly getting sick. Here is another "new low" - that suicidal feeling I was having throughout the summer was met with the reality that if I did actually commit suicide I'd not be repairing my sons illness and probably exacerbating it.
And let's move onto something even more exciting than my "new low" of making fun of sports. Let's move onto the fact that my child has spent the better part of the year sick. Losing weight. Hours on hours vomiting on the floor of the bathroom while your children thank G-d have been sleeping in their beds. My new low includes sleeping on the floor of the bathroom next to my child in fear that my husband or I wouldn't hear him if he woke up again to vomit. Worrying about each meal he puts into his mouth uncertain of if it was going to cause him to lose more pounds that he didn't have. Watching the scale dip as low as if my 2 year old were standing there instead of my 7 year old. Watching your sons broken blood vessels in his face grow because he was puking so violently that people were asking questions regarding the "red dots" on his cheeks.
My "new lows" might have a different meaning to you. But I'll tell you another secret:
The "new low" that you have so nicely pointed out has obviously been building with you. There is no way that a normal human being could find my statement regarding what sports my son could and could not find useful in his life as the straw that truly breaks the camels back. You must've had many many grievances with me. And that is ok. People come and go in our lives. It is what it is. But I'll give you a bit of advice, your insecurities of parenting and self is what has made you truly lose your temper with me. I make fun of myself. I make fun of the place we live. Because I recognize that this life I have is a gift. Regardless of having to ask for food and money I recognize I have it 1000 times better than many in this world.
So you won't find me apologizing for my snide comments (or sarcasm if we are going to call it what it really is). But I will apologize for not giving you the opportunity to "defriend" me earlier than you'd like.
Yours truly,
The Über-hippie Anti-Marin Mom.
PS. In case you haven't had a chance take a look at my pictures…. the old and new. There is a strong possibility you need to relearn the definition of "uber-hippie" as I have yet to see a hippie looking the way I have in the past 25 year of life. It's called Goth.