Always Earned, Never Given
Always Earned, Never Given
Prompt: un_love_you, #07: “Prove it.”
Word count: 1,550
Characters: Jack Shephard, Juliet Burke
Rating: R for sex
Timeline: "D.O.C."
Author's Notes: Many fics end up in sex. I like to break patterns. ;D
Disclaimer: This is a fictional, nonprofit work for entertainment purpose only. The copyright in the TV show LOST and its components is owned by "American Broadcast Companies, Inc.", which reserves all rights therein.
“To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.”
George MacDonald
"Oh", she moans as he buries himself deep inside her again and again in fast, decisive thrusts, "ah, ah there yes", her hands clutching his short hair, long legs circling his hips, toes curling as she presses her feet against his thighs, "oh yeah God" and he's grunting in her ear too, her nails are long and they draw blood from his back, her body is trembling and all her muscles are tense and it all breaks loose as he keeps moving, keeps searching for his own release into her.
Her mind is free and it's bliss and heaven for a couple of seconds. Breathing hard, she slowly comes back to Earth, back to Jack's small tent at the beach camp. The pleasure from sex starts to fade as she remembers their pre-coital discussion, words like treason and unforgiveness coming up in bold letters.
"I'm still mad at you", it's the first thing he says in almost half an hour, mumbled to his tarp-blue ceiling after he rolls off of her.
Her breath and her conscience are back. She gives a small nod. "I know."
They both sigh, Jack covering his eyes with one arm, his other hand resting over his naked lower belly. Juliet fiddles with the rim of her shirt, pondering over buttoning it up or not. She decides for putting her panties back on first, lifting her body for only the minimum space necessary to pull the garment over the hips.
He lets his arm fall over the airline blanket, watching her with a pensive expression. "Those hormone shots…"
"We still have a few days", she answers, then corrects herself, "I mean, the effects… I'm protected. About… four days, I have about four more days."
"Good." He's not touching her nor looking into her eyes. She believes he has all rights to act like this.
She sits up and crosses her legs, her knee bumping his thigh. "Maybe I…", she sighs. "I should leave."
"Wait", he raises his body too, staring at her. "You tell me all that; now you're going to stay here and help me get out of this mess." How romantic, Juliet thinks, but she won't say so when he's not in the mood for jokes.
She smoothes the blanket over the sand. "What are we going to do?"
"I was expecting you would tell me that." Jack is not the kind of man who gets over his anger easily, especially if it's connected to his trust issues. But she has the impression that now he's not as pissed-off at her as before. (Yes, he'd still rather have known of Ben's plan long before he'd put his own reliability at stake, and he's still unsure whether Juliet deserves his trust again; but no matter what is truly happening, she is still another pawn in the master game.) "What are you gonna do?"
She buttons her shirt up, more to distract herself than out of modesty. "Like I said, there's an ultrasound at the medical station. It's not far off. I'd like to… I feel like it's my responsibility to know if Sun's baby is ok." She looks at him. "It's not because of Ben."
She hasn't chosen to be a fertility doctor for nothing. A part of Jack acknowledges that, even though another part of him has to question his impressions of her, for the safety of the community. But he's preoccupied too, and this is a situation in which his own medical knowledge has no use. "You want to run a check-up on her."
"Yes."
"Before your friends show up." The word comes out as a hiss. "I have no idea how you're going to manage convincing her, or worse, convincing Jin."
"I saw him leaving with Hurley, Pace and that other man this morning." Juliet uses her calculating tone, knowing and not caring that it might make Jack uneasy. "I'd like to try talking to her tonight. She's worried about the baby. She'll want to know."
Jack nods. His eyes are avoiding her again.
She finishes dressing up, lying down to pull her trousers over her hips. Jack is still naked and doesn't reach for his clothes; it's his tent, after all. His head is hung low, one hand absently running through his hair. Juliet comes closer to him, inspecting his shoulders and back. "I scratched you."
"It's ok", he says, pushing her arm away. He doesn't need to voice it, but she knows she did much worse than scratching him. (She's not going to tell him that her forearms are burning from when he pushed her against the sand; nor that she was more scared than aroused in the beginning, and that it took her an uncomfortable while to get in the mood.)
She feels that she owes him an explanation. More than that, though, she feels that she's in dire need of unburdening a few things. "You want to know why I haven't told you any of this before?"
He finally deigns to look into her eyes; she exchanged the sorrow for defiance, now.
"Because I thought I could pull it up. I just-I just had to keep my mouth shut for a week, just keep pretending to you that I was absolutely innocent. I'd find out who was pregnant, I'd get Ben what he wanted, and then he'd finally let me leave." Jack is way past angry at her to interrupt her outburst. He keeps on listening, his stare hard. "But I was weak. I couldn't do that. Three days playing mole and I find out I still have a conscience. So I'm telling you all of this now, Jack, because even if I'm throwing away my last chance of getting out of this place, at least I'll know I'm still better than Ben."
He looks down at his hands, considering her words. Then, shaking his head and chuckling slightly, he looks at her again. "And how do I know this is not a part of the plan?"
She sighs. His question comes without surprise. (What was the name of that story? The boy who cried wolf?) "We tell Sayid."
"Sayid would kill you."
"Maybe he will."
"Don't start it", he snorts. It's partially concern for her well-being, partially other more selfish reasons: if she dies, guilty or not, he knows he'll shoulder the blame.
Juliet's own reasons are much more practical. "He should know, or James. Sayid is a strategist and James is a con man, I'm sure either of them could help us with-"
"No."
"Jack."
"We're not telling anyone until we have a solution."
"You're putting your pride ahead of your brain." To that he says nothing; he knows she's right, but it doesn't mean he is going to change his decision. "We should talk to Kate, at least. She trusts you."
It seems to Juliet that a part of Jack has pretty much given up on this conversation, opting instead for staring through a gap in the tarp as the remaining people at the beach scatter away to sleep. "She'll tell Saywer", he says with a slight shake of his head.
Juliet sighs, giving him a resignated nod. Jack can't think when there's too much blood accumulated upstairs. Maybe in the morning he'll change his mind and see the situation under a new light. (She very much doubts it, of course.) Running her hands over the soles of her feet to shake off grains of sand, she puts her shoes back on, adjusts her bra and checks if the sleeves of her shirt are at the same level. Her hair goes up in a bun, she doesn't want anything else in the way.
Jack watches her by the corner of his eye. His nudity is starting to make him uncomfortable; he picks up his briefs and jeans but doesn't wear them, only leaves them over his crossed legs to cover his sex.
"I'll talk to Sun now", she tells him.
He nods, gaze wandering away yet again. "I'll try to think of something. We... I'll talk to you when you're back."
Kneeling in front of him, she gets as close as he'll let her (but it's like the glass wall is back in place). "Jack", she whispers, "you said once that you and I would make Ben keep his word. That we would leave together." He looks at her - it's guarded, and unsure, but it's something. "I've been here for three years, and you were the first who actually wanted to help me go home."
She doesn't dare trying to take his lips on hers. He would turn away; it would be sadder, for both of them. Instead, she settles with caressing the side of his face and leaving a whisper of a kiss on his cheek. He closes his eyes and doesn't fight it, though he doesn't linger on it either.
When she leaves his tent, it's with an ache in her chest and a certainty in her mind. She didn't know how much she valued Jack's trust until she lost it. Now, walking with firm steps to Sun's tent, she knows it was never about Ben's plan in the first place; it was about herself. Winning his trust was a personal challenge. And it's a personal challenge to earn it back.
Prompt: un_love_you, #07: “Prove it.”
Word count: 1,550
Characters: Jack Shephard, Juliet Burke
Rating: R for sex
Timeline: "D.O.C."
Author's Notes: Many fics end up in sex. I like to break patterns. ;D
Disclaimer: This is a fictional, nonprofit work for entertainment purpose only. The copyright in the TV show LOST and its components is owned by "American Broadcast Companies, Inc.", which reserves all rights therein.
“To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.”
George MacDonald
"Oh", she moans as he buries himself deep inside her again and again in fast, decisive thrusts, "ah, ah there yes", her hands clutching his short hair, long legs circling his hips, toes curling as she presses her feet against his thighs, "oh yeah God" and he's grunting in her ear too, her nails are long and they draw blood from his back, her body is trembling and all her muscles are tense and it all breaks loose as he keeps moving, keeps searching for his own release into her.
Her mind is free and it's bliss and heaven for a couple of seconds. Breathing hard, she slowly comes back to Earth, back to Jack's small tent at the beach camp. The pleasure from sex starts to fade as she remembers their pre-coital discussion, words like treason and unforgiveness coming up in bold letters.
"I'm still mad at you", it's the first thing he says in almost half an hour, mumbled to his tarp-blue ceiling after he rolls off of her.
Her breath and her conscience are back. She gives a small nod. "I know."
They both sigh, Jack covering his eyes with one arm, his other hand resting over his naked lower belly. Juliet fiddles with the rim of her shirt, pondering over buttoning it up or not. She decides for putting her panties back on first, lifting her body for only the minimum space necessary to pull the garment over the hips.
He lets his arm fall over the airline blanket, watching her with a pensive expression. "Those hormone shots…"
"We still have a few days", she answers, then corrects herself, "I mean, the effects… I'm protected. About… four days, I have about four more days."
"Good." He's not touching her nor looking into her eyes. She believes he has all rights to act like this.
She sits up and crosses her legs, her knee bumping his thigh. "Maybe I…", she sighs. "I should leave."
"Wait", he raises his body too, staring at her. "You tell me all that; now you're going to stay here and help me get out of this mess." How romantic, Juliet thinks, but she won't say so when he's not in the mood for jokes.
She smoothes the blanket over the sand. "What are we going to do?"
"I was expecting you would tell me that." Jack is not the kind of man who gets over his anger easily, especially if it's connected to his trust issues. But she has the impression that now he's not as pissed-off at her as before. (Yes, he'd still rather have known of Ben's plan long before he'd put his own reliability at stake, and he's still unsure whether Juliet deserves his trust again; but no matter what is truly happening, she is still another pawn in the master game.) "What are you gonna do?"
She buttons her shirt up, more to distract herself than out of modesty. "Like I said, there's an ultrasound at the medical station. It's not far off. I'd like to… I feel like it's my responsibility to know if Sun's baby is ok." She looks at him. "It's not because of Ben."
She hasn't chosen to be a fertility doctor for nothing. A part of Jack acknowledges that, even though another part of him has to question his impressions of her, for the safety of the community. But he's preoccupied too, and this is a situation in which his own medical knowledge has no use. "You want to run a check-up on her."
"Yes."
"Before your friends show up." The word comes out as a hiss. "I have no idea how you're going to manage convincing her, or worse, convincing Jin."
"I saw him leaving with Hurley, Pace and that other man this morning." Juliet uses her calculating tone, knowing and not caring that it might make Jack uneasy. "I'd like to try talking to her tonight. She's worried about the baby. She'll want to know."
Jack nods. His eyes are avoiding her again.
She finishes dressing up, lying down to pull her trousers over her hips. Jack is still naked and doesn't reach for his clothes; it's his tent, after all. His head is hung low, one hand absently running through his hair. Juliet comes closer to him, inspecting his shoulders and back. "I scratched you."
"It's ok", he says, pushing her arm away. He doesn't need to voice it, but she knows she did much worse than scratching him. (She's not going to tell him that her forearms are burning from when he pushed her against the sand; nor that she was more scared than aroused in the beginning, and that it took her an uncomfortable while to get in the mood.)
She feels that she owes him an explanation. More than that, though, she feels that she's in dire need of unburdening a few things. "You want to know why I haven't told you any of this before?"
He finally deigns to look into her eyes; she exchanged the sorrow for defiance, now.
"Because I thought I could pull it up. I just-I just had to keep my mouth shut for a week, just keep pretending to you that I was absolutely innocent. I'd find out who was pregnant, I'd get Ben what he wanted, and then he'd finally let me leave." Jack is way past angry at her to interrupt her outburst. He keeps on listening, his stare hard. "But I was weak. I couldn't do that. Three days playing mole and I find out I still have a conscience. So I'm telling you all of this now, Jack, because even if I'm throwing away my last chance of getting out of this place, at least I'll know I'm still better than Ben."
He looks down at his hands, considering her words. Then, shaking his head and chuckling slightly, he looks at her again. "And how do I know this is not a part of the plan?"
She sighs. His question comes without surprise. (What was the name of that story? The boy who cried wolf?) "We tell Sayid."
"Sayid would kill you."
"Maybe he will."
"Don't start it", he snorts. It's partially concern for her well-being, partially other more selfish reasons: if she dies, guilty or not, he knows he'll shoulder the blame.
Juliet's own reasons are much more practical. "He should know, or James. Sayid is a strategist and James is a con man, I'm sure either of them could help us with-"
"No."
"Jack."
"We're not telling anyone until we have a solution."
"You're putting your pride ahead of your brain." To that he says nothing; he knows she's right, but it doesn't mean he is going to change his decision. "We should talk to Kate, at least. She trusts you."
It seems to Juliet that a part of Jack has pretty much given up on this conversation, opting instead for staring through a gap in the tarp as the remaining people at the beach scatter away to sleep. "She'll tell Saywer", he says with a slight shake of his head.
Juliet sighs, giving him a resignated nod. Jack can't think when there's too much blood accumulated upstairs. Maybe in the morning he'll change his mind and see the situation under a new light. (She very much doubts it, of course.) Running her hands over the soles of her feet to shake off grains of sand, she puts her shoes back on, adjusts her bra and checks if the sleeves of her shirt are at the same level. Her hair goes up in a bun, she doesn't want anything else in the way.
Jack watches her by the corner of his eye. His nudity is starting to make him uncomfortable; he picks up his briefs and jeans but doesn't wear them, only leaves them over his crossed legs to cover his sex.
"I'll talk to Sun now", she tells him.
He nods, gaze wandering away yet again. "I'll try to think of something. We... I'll talk to you when you're back."
Kneeling in front of him, she gets as close as he'll let her (but it's like the glass wall is back in place). "Jack", she whispers, "you said once that you and I would make Ben keep his word. That we would leave together." He looks at her - it's guarded, and unsure, but it's something. "I've been here for three years, and you were the first who actually wanted to help me go home."
She doesn't dare trying to take his lips on hers. He would turn away; it would be sadder, for both of them. Instead, she settles with caressing the side of his face and leaving a whisper of a kiss on his cheek. He closes his eyes and doesn't fight it, though he doesn't linger on it either.
When she leaves his tent, it's with an ache in her chest and a certainty in her mind. She didn't know how much she valued Jack's trust until she lost it. Now, walking with firm steps to Sun's tent, she knows it was never about Ben's plan in the first place; it was about herself. Winning his trust was a personal challenge. And it's a personal challenge to earn it back.