Poop Eyes
The neighbor kids knocked on the door today to see if they could scoop any poop. I told them yes, they certainly could. I took them into the yard and let them know that this time, I was going to show them proper scoop technique so that they could function as an efficient team. I reminded the oldest boy of his (ineffecient) technique from the week before and demonstrated a way that little brown land mines could be corralled and disposed of with less effort, less time spent and better results. His younger brother stepped on a couple of mines and I let them know that they'd have to take some time to develop poop eyes: eyes that could spot a piece of poop from several feet away and be able to tell the difference between that and a dirt clod or rock. The two boys spent some time peering around them, working on developing their poop eyes. Then they buckled down.
I followed them around, helping them spot their targets and encouraging good teamwork. Keeping the edge of the scoop receptable very close to the ground was good teamwork. Flicking poops up into it with the rake might necessitate the wearing of goggles due to factors like variable turd weights and windspeed. The youngest brother got really good at turd spotting and was able to spot them much more quickly than his older brother. He crowed, "I got poop eyes!" I congratulated him on getting poop eyes faster than anyone I'd ever seen. I told him he got poop eyes even faster than I got weed eyes when I had a garden to work on, and I had really *good* weed eyes.
The older boy wanted to know how much they'd be earning. I told them $5. He asked how long they had to work to get that. I told them no time limit, they'd just have to work til the job was done. He frowned. I qualified it by saying that there was far less poop this time than last time because I'd spent an hour on the yard last week myself and filled up three bags singlehandedly with no help at all. He agreed that $5 was fair. I went on to tell him that after I'd done all that work, I went on the other side of the fence in the back yard and noticed that someone else's dog had decided my yard was an idea place to fill up with little brown lumps. I speculated that it'd probably be a dog that lived nearby and was able to run around a lot because it didn't have a fence and chewed through its leash a lot. He filled in the blanks and realized that it was his mama dog and her puppy that were pretty notorious for running around off-leash and liked to come into my yard, and he and his little brother didn't quibble at all about cleaning up the extra.
While they were working around the crabapple tree, the older brother asked when the berries were going to come in again. I told him that it wouldn't be for several more months. First, the tree has to get leaves and then put out pink flowers that smell really good, then the flowers drop off and the crabapples start to grow, and then in the Fall, when they start to drop on the ground, that's when they're good to eat. All he really wanted to know was when they'd be able to do the epic raking and hauling job again so they could earn $21. He remembered what a great job his older sister did and I agreed.
They finished all the scooping and got their $5. We shook hands on our mutual satisfaction in a good deal while I thanked them for their excellent work and on getting more skilled in such a short time. The youngest brother walked away towards the dumpster in the alley, lugging the bag of goodies, boasting about his poop eyes. I cannot imagine what their mom is going to say when they tell her.
I followed them around, helping them spot their targets and encouraging good teamwork. Keeping the edge of the scoop receptable very close to the ground was good teamwork. Flicking poops up into it with the rake might necessitate the wearing of goggles due to factors like variable turd weights and windspeed. The youngest brother got really good at turd spotting and was able to spot them much more quickly than his older brother. He crowed, "I got poop eyes!" I congratulated him on getting poop eyes faster than anyone I'd ever seen. I told him he got poop eyes even faster than I got weed eyes when I had a garden to work on, and I had really *good* weed eyes.
The older boy wanted to know how much they'd be earning. I told them $5. He asked how long they had to work to get that. I told them no time limit, they'd just have to work til the job was done. He frowned. I qualified it by saying that there was far less poop this time than last time because I'd spent an hour on the yard last week myself and filled up three bags singlehandedly with no help at all. He agreed that $5 was fair. I went on to tell him that after I'd done all that work, I went on the other side of the fence in the back yard and noticed that someone else's dog had decided my yard was an idea place to fill up with little brown lumps. I speculated that it'd probably be a dog that lived nearby and was able to run around a lot because it didn't have a fence and chewed through its leash a lot. He filled in the blanks and realized that it was his mama dog and her puppy that were pretty notorious for running around off-leash and liked to come into my yard, and he and his little brother didn't quibble at all about cleaning up the extra.
While they were working around the crabapple tree, the older brother asked when the berries were going to come in again. I told him that it wouldn't be for several more months. First, the tree has to get leaves and then put out pink flowers that smell really good, then the flowers drop off and the crabapples start to grow, and then in the Fall, when they start to drop on the ground, that's when they're good to eat. All he really wanted to know was when they'd be able to do the epic raking and hauling job again so they could earn $21. He remembered what a great job his older sister did and I agreed.
They finished all the scooping and got their $5. We shook hands on our mutual satisfaction in a good deal while I thanked them for their excellent work and on getting more skilled in such a short time. The youngest brother walked away towards the dumpster in the alley, lugging the bag of goodies, boasting about his poop eyes. I cannot imagine what their mom is going to say when they tell her.