心结。。。
I teared once again watching Channel 8's 回家走走....
Glad that I finally watched a full episode in recent weeks....
By full episode I mean catching the show for consecutive 2 weeks.
And the star on tv was Jesseca Liu (I thought her name is Jessica Liu... woops!).
"Perhaps she's from a single-parent family,
she's have been always very independent and self-protective.
And when she has problems,
she will keep to herself without worrying the people around her.
But family is where she seeks her solace."
Jesseca said that she likes to see the sea,
for whenever she's feeling down,
she would go to the beach area to think about things.
I totally feel for her...
Somehow I can really connect to how she feel,
though I'm not exactly from a single-parent family,
but complicated enough to shape who I am today.
Someone who is very sensitive to other people's feelings,
Someone who puts emotions on the forefront,
Someone whom friends around her can trust in her, confide in her etc
Someone who wants to fight for her own happiness and future,
Someone who will not want to trouble her parents, especially her mum with the upsetting moments in her life.
Come to think of it,
I have never confided in my mum about my exchange woes,
for fear that I will add on to her worries.
可能我真的很傻，但这就是我爱我妈妈的方式。
Everytime I talked about my parents,
I just cant help my emotional feelings...
This is my soft spot... a lot of "what ifs" in my mind when I was much younger,
and when I came to accept how things are when I'm sensible enough,
it isn't that bad afterall actually,
probably cos I chose to look on the bright side and be contented with what/who I have (:
I guess these days I'm more open to share with my close loved ones about my parents,
and that's why I particularly value all the 情感- 亲情，友情和爱情。
Standing at the crossroads right now,
whether is taking a left turn into the gov sector or a right turn into the private sector,
I pretty much knows where my interest is skewed to.
Perhaps I just need a little more time to assure myself and figure some thoughts out.
Hopefully one day this 心结 of mine can really be resolved,
but I guess it's time to take a little small step forward.
Don't worry friends I'm okay.
Beneath everyone's smile, there's always a story to tell.
As much as I know my life's gonna progress to a brand new stage very soon,
note to self to remember where my roots lie (:
I'm gonna have an early night.
Overwhelming thoughts & emotions & a weary brain.