AH!! FRUSTRATION OVERLOAD.
My boss has to simply be the most unorganized, irresponsible person I have ever worked for. She’s a nice lady, funny and caring and all that…I actually think she probably makes a great therapist for her private practice clients, but I gotta say when it comes to the job she does around here, she might as well not be here at all. I’m particularly annoyed by this right now because she’s on vacation and she leaves info with one of the other program supervisors to follow up with all the things she should have been doing all along. Well you know what? I didn’t do one of things she wanted, procure a sign to advertise an upcoming open house, because I didn’t think it was an idea worth the time and trouble. Advertising in a local paper would have been a much more beneficial path for our Program to take, and this people, is something this woman is well aware of. Well I met with the stuffy and almost rude man from the newspaper, discussed cost, ad design, towns where I’d like the as to run…even finagled a bit of a deal on price…well the proposal goes to my boss and falls flat. She says, “We’ll have to meet about that,” and then never has the time or inclination to actually meet with me. Now the part that annoys me most about this scenario, is that when she returns from vacation and asks if we ran in the paper I’ll say no and when she asks me why not I’ll casually remind her that she never approved it nor even discussed it with me. Then the topper on her cake of open house advertisement disappointment will be when she pulls up to the building to not see the sign she wanted out there. Where’s the sign she’ll ask? I’ll explain that I called some places and couldn’t obtain a sign for free nor in the time crunch (open house is this coming Wednesday), and she will be tremendously upset with my performance. But the best part of this scenario is that this time around I get to follow up this discussion by saying, “Welcome back from vacation have you heard yet that I’m quitting?!?!?!!?”
On the four hour written psych eval I underwent for Probation, they asked me to write about the best/most effective and worst/least effective supervisor I’ve ever had. One guess as to who I wrote about for the latter (and no Rose, but I didn’t write about you for the best…though if allowing me to get drunk on fire island while being on call qualifies as actions for best supervisor, than I guess you were pretty awesome.)
So I just gave the supervisor who was told to “follow up” on these things a major attitude and I feel bad because a) she’s my friend and b)most importantly, it’s not her fault. I gave her a mouthful about the irresponsibility of my boss (who is also her boss) and I know this makes her uncomfortable and leaves her unsure of how to respond.
I’ve been half joking that I have been trying to get fired here for the past two months or so. And I say half joking because quite honestly my performance has declined and I blatantly don’t do some of the things I should be doing. Have I failed to mention that I could be typing up a home study and I’m ranting in this LJ instead? I just got so heated up while on the phone with the supervisor…particularly when I said, “There’ll be no sign,” and she said with a tone I didn’t like, “Boss (she said her name) won’t be happy.” I said, “Well I’ll deal with that when she gets back.”
But for real, for now, I’ve got to get this homestudy done.