Updates on it all...
Well it has been what I would consider to be too long, since I have typed words for this Lazy Woman’s Memoir. But oh so much has been going on, and this crazy thing called life gets in the way of my desire to sit at the computer and put words to page, or screen. So what better time to update y’all on my daily happenings than now, while I’m sitting at work.
Anyway, the wedding of Cousin J has occurred and now Future Cousin in Law J is just plain Cousin-in-law J, or just plain CJ for the ease of readers. Anyway, the wedding took place last Sunday and the weather here on Long Island was sunny and glorious. The nuptials (conducted by a female judge with crazy hair, a black judge’s robe and strappy red heels) took place on a beautiful patio overlooking a golf course and the Great South Bay. The breeze was just right and the sunshine was perfect. Pictures should prove to be amazing. I danced the entire night away and aside from my matronly (translation fat) upper arms, I was very happy with the look and the fit of my dress. Despite the fact that this is now the most expensive dress I have ever owned, it actually can be worn again…I just don’t have any event coming up to wear it to.
To back track a bit, the Bachelorette Party was two weeks ago. I was against it from the start, holding to the belief that the bride has a shower and for the love of all that is good, isn’t that enough?!?! Anyway, what I was most against about the idea of a Bachelorette Party is the outlandish expectations of people as to what this night should include, and the fact that, to some, it is acceptable to pay out something like $500-$600 in that one night. Now I am not one to want to begrudge someone their fun, but not only do I think it’s unreasonable, but I’m also not in the financial place to be able to shell out that kind of dough for a night of drinking! Well determined not to spend nearly that much, and resigned to the fact that I would have to spend more than I wanted whether I wanted to or not, we went to The Awesome 80’s Prom, which is held in the club Webster Hall. It’s set up as if you are attending your high school prom in 1989. Actors walk around as if they are the students (stereotypically designed to model the characters of the Breakfast Club) and basically you just party like it’s your prom. I had been hoping to leave after the prom and head back home to avoid a night at clubs where I didn’t think I’d be comfortable (and J and I had some heated discussions regarding this prior to the night) but the warm buzz of champagne, sangria and vodka and cranberry, helped me muster up the self-esteem to stay. And thankfully because the night was great. Thank goodness, also, that J is not into the male stripper thing…nor did she want to carry around the penis sippy-cup that one of the bridesmaids brought for her to use…the sight of some of these other bachelorettes out that night with wedding veils adorned with plastic penises and condoms is really rather revolting in my eyes. Why do these bride’s-to-be want this? I’ve never seen a bachelor out with any kind of boob or vaginal paraphernalia as part of their wardrobe. Weird.
Aside from these events I have been in career crisis mode. Some readers may recall that almost a year ago I took the civil service exam for Probation Officer…well test results are in and I have been going through the many levels of interview, physical exam and psychological eval required for the position. At the same time I have been interviewing at a day care center for an incredibly well paying position as their director. So now I sit in the crunch time, wondering which to choose for now…this could be an entry of it’s own…and it might be, so I can get it all out on paper for my own review. In the meantime, Rose has been my primary career counselor. She has been a tremendous help in this area, however I wish she would just tell me what to do…I’m terrible with decisions.
Anyway, before I go, I want to share the most interesting experience that has occurred as part of the Probation Process. I went to a rather thorough physical evaluation, they checked hearing, vision, all the usual exam things, and took blood…but walking back to the secretary I realized the spot on the form for urinalysis was not checked off. I thought, “oh they’re going to ask me to pee in a cup,” ya know, no big deal. Well I hand the paper to the secretary and she says, “I see you haven’t had the witnessed urine yet, sit down and we’ll be right with you.” So I sat down and wondered if I’d heard her correctly.
Unfortunately I had, because when the nurse called me in she said, “Come in. I’m going to have to watch you give this urine sample.” I gave her a sarcastic, “Oh good,” to which she replied, “Oh it’s the highlight of my day too.” And on went the sink and I did what I could. Good fun!
Anyway, the wedding of Cousin J has occurred and now Future Cousin in Law J is just plain Cousin-in-law J, or just plain CJ for the ease of readers. Anyway, the wedding took place last Sunday and the weather here on Long Island was sunny and glorious. The nuptials (conducted by a female judge with crazy hair, a black judge’s robe and strappy red heels) took place on a beautiful patio overlooking a golf course and the Great South Bay. The breeze was just right and the sunshine was perfect. Pictures should prove to be amazing. I danced the entire night away and aside from my matronly (translation fat) upper arms, I was very happy with the look and the fit of my dress. Despite the fact that this is now the most expensive dress I have ever owned, it actually can be worn again…I just don’t have any event coming up to wear it to.
To back track a bit, the Bachelorette Party was two weeks ago. I was against it from the start, holding to the belief that the bride has a shower and for the love of all that is good, isn’t that enough?!?! Anyway, what I was most against about the idea of a Bachelorette Party is the outlandish expectations of people as to what this night should include, and the fact that, to some, it is acceptable to pay out something like $500-$600 in that one night. Now I am not one to want to begrudge someone their fun, but not only do I think it’s unreasonable, but I’m also not in the financial place to be able to shell out that kind of dough for a night of drinking! Well determined not to spend nearly that much, and resigned to the fact that I would have to spend more than I wanted whether I wanted to or not, we went to The Awesome 80’s Prom, which is held in the club Webster Hall. It’s set up as if you are attending your high school prom in 1989. Actors walk around as if they are the students (stereotypically designed to model the characters of the Breakfast Club) and basically you just party like it’s your prom. I had been hoping to leave after the prom and head back home to avoid a night at clubs where I didn’t think I’d be comfortable (and J and I had some heated discussions regarding this prior to the night) but the warm buzz of champagne, sangria and vodka and cranberry, helped me muster up the self-esteem to stay. And thankfully because the night was great. Thank goodness, also, that J is not into the male stripper thing…nor did she want to carry around the penis sippy-cup that one of the bridesmaids brought for her to use…the sight of some of these other bachelorettes out that night with wedding veils adorned with plastic penises and condoms is really rather revolting in my eyes. Why do these bride’s-to-be want this? I’ve never seen a bachelor out with any kind of boob or vaginal paraphernalia as part of their wardrobe. Weird.
Aside from these events I have been in career crisis mode. Some readers may recall that almost a year ago I took the civil service exam for Probation Officer…well test results are in and I have been going through the many levels of interview, physical exam and psychological eval required for the position. At the same time I have been interviewing at a day care center for an incredibly well paying position as their director. So now I sit in the crunch time, wondering which to choose for now…this could be an entry of it’s own…and it might be, so I can get it all out on paper for my own review. In the meantime, Rose has been my primary career counselor. She has been a tremendous help in this area, however I wish she would just tell me what to do…I’m terrible with decisions.
Anyway, before I go, I want to share the most interesting experience that has occurred as part of the Probation Process. I went to a rather thorough physical evaluation, they checked hearing, vision, all the usual exam things, and took blood…but walking back to the secretary I realized the spot on the form for urinalysis was not checked off. I thought, “oh they’re going to ask me to pee in a cup,” ya know, no big deal. Well I hand the paper to the secretary and she says, “I see you haven’t had the witnessed urine yet, sit down and we’ll be right with you.” So I sat down and wondered if I’d heard her correctly.
Unfortunately I had, because when the nurse called me in she said, “Come in. I’m going to have to watch you give this urine sample.” I gave her a sarcastic, “Oh good,” to which she replied, “Oh it’s the highlight of my day too.” And on went the sink and I did what I could. Good fun!