(no subject)
"It's not that I wasn't enough, it's that I was so much - too much. I don't need a guy that is luke warm, I'm an artist. I need one that has so much passion in him that he boils over.
It's the same with you. Find the right bird. One that flies with you in the storm."
One that flies with me in the storm.
When i decided to get a divorce, it was because i wanted to be alone. That solitude didn't last long, and then i met him and fought it so hard. I fought liking him, i fought wanting him and thinking of him, and then i had to fight the jealousy when he was with other people, and the nervousness when he was with girls, and then i had to fight falling in love with him instead of just liking him, and then it was fighting the urge to just drop it because it hurt to know he was leaving, then it was fighting the jealousy when he pointed out a beautiful girl, and now.. now it's fighting the urge to be sad because he's gone.
and i can't know how he really feels about me, but i'd like to think that all of that ^ storm, the storm of the next six months, and possibly longer than that, is one he's willing to fight for me over.
i would like to think he wants to come home.
because i didn't want this to happen. what i wanted was to be callous and angry at men, and to ignore them. But he makes it so fucking hard for me to hate men. He is the definition of a man, and one of the most interesting people i have ever met. We connect on this extraordinary level, and he gets me. And he doesn't have to say anything and i can laugh, just by his look.
so i will be writing a lot for the next few months, and hopefully be able to visit.
It's the same with you. Find the right bird. One that flies with you in the storm."
One that flies with me in the storm.
When i decided to get a divorce, it was because i wanted to be alone. That solitude didn't last long, and then i met him and fought it so hard. I fought liking him, i fought wanting him and thinking of him, and then i had to fight the jealousy when he was with other people, and the nervousness when he was with girls, and then i had to fight falling in love with him instead of just liking him, and then it was fighting the urge to just drop it because it hurt to know he was leaving, then it was fighting the jealousy when he pointed out a beautiful girl, and now.. now it's fighting the urge to be sad because he's gone.
and i can't know how he really feels about me, but i'd like to think that all of that ^ storm, the storm of the next six months, and possibly longer than that, is one he's willing to fight for me over.
i would like to think he wants to come home.
because i didn't want this to happen. what i wanted was to be callous and angry at men, and to ignore them. But he makes it so fucking hard for me to hate men. He is the definition of a man, and one of the most interesting people i have ever met. We connect on this extraordinary level, and he gets me. And he doesn't have to say anything and i can laugh, just by his look.
so i will be writing a lot for the next few months, and hopefully be able to visit.