Leaving the Past Behind...
So I've come to realize in all my infinite wisdom that it's absolutely time for me to leave my past in the past....I have to accept that the things people have done to me in the past aren't the same things that people in my current life will do to me. It's so hard for me to accept that not all guys are Ross. I'd apologize for saying that to those who know and may even like Ross, but he was an asshole to me while we dated. He'd turn his phone off just to avoid me, usually because he was doing shit he wasn't supposed to do. So now it's hard for me to see that just becuase Rob doesn't answer his phone, doesn't mean he's doing anything wrong. This should be common knowledge, but after being with an asshole for so long that treated me like shit, it's very difficult for me to just accept that. So this entry marks a purging of my past.
So as of April 6, 2008, I'm letting go of all the bad shit that has happened to me in the past, and starting a new outlook on life. I'm no longer going to assume that people are guilty until proven innocent; I'm no longer going to assume that all boyfriends treat girls like crap; and finally, I'm going to learn to trust again. Rob has NEVER done anything but be completely and brutally honest with me, even when it hurt like hell. There is nothing he has ever done to give me any reason to not trust him. So with this, I'm leaving my baggage all behind.
To Ross: We had some great times in those four and a half years. We've now both moved on and are in new relationships (hell, I've already had a few since you!) I'm typing this all up for me now....to get it out of my system, onto "paper" and to let go of it, so I can never look back. The two of us were never right for one another; we were young and "in love" I suppose, but it was never right. I know that now after just being with someone else for a few months, and finally realizing how selfless I can truly be with another person. Sure, it's only been a few months, but I don't think one can put themselves in a long distance relationship and not mature pretty quickly. So with this, I'm officially closing the Ross chapter of my life. I'll always value his friendship as long as he wants mine. I truly hope he has found happiness now, because I sure have.
PS Putting it all down has truly made me feel better. It's like I just lifted a 50 pound weight off my chest. Thanks for believing in me Rob. Things are now looking up. Funny thing.....I'm gigging in The King and I...and I couldn't help but have the biggest smile on my face when truly listening to the lyrics of "Hello, Young Lovers" today. I think I actually know what they mean now. *smiles*
Hello young lovers, whoever you are,
I hope your troubles are few.
All my good wishes go with you tonight,
I've been in love like you.
Be brave, young lovers, and follow your star,
Be brave and faithful and true,
Cling very close to each other tonight.
I've been in love like you.
I know how it feels to have wings on your heels,
And to fly down the street in a trance.
You fly down a street on the chance that you meet,
And you meet -- not really by chance.
Don't cry young lovers, whatever you do,
Don't cry because I'm alone;
All of my memories are happy tonight,
I've had a love of my own.
I've had a love of my own, like yours-
I've had a love of my own.
So as of April 6, 2008, I'm letting go of all the bad shit that has happened to me in the past, and starting a new outlook on life. I'm no longer going to assume that people are guilty until proven innocent; I'm no longer going to assume that all boyfriends treat girls like crap; and finally, I'm going to learn to trust again. Rob has NEVER done anything but be completely and brutally honest with me, even when it hurt like hell. There is nothing he has ever done to give me any reason to not trust him. So with this, I'm leaving my baggage all behind.
To Ross: We had some great times in those four and a half years. We've now both moved on and are in new relationships (hell, I've already had a few since you!) I'm typing this all up for me now....to get it out of my system, onto "paper" and to let go of it, so I can never look back. The two of us were never right for one another; we were young and "in love" I suppose, but it was never right. I know that now after just being with someone else for a few months, and finally realizing how selfless I can truly be with another person. Sure, it's only been a few months, but I don't think one can put themselves in a long distance relationship and not mature pretty quickly. So with this, I'm officially closing the Ross chapter of my life. I'll always value his friendship as long as he wants mine. I truly hope he has found happiness now, because I sure have.
PS Putting it all down has truly made me feel better. It's like I just lifted a 50 pound weight off my chest. Thanks for believing in me Rob. Things are now looking up. Funny thing.....I'm gigging in The King and I...and I couldn't help but have the biggest smile on my face when truly listening to the lyrics of "Hello, Young Lovers" today. I think I actually know what they mean now. *smiles*
Hello young lovers, whoever you are,
I hope your troubles are few.
All my good wishes go with you tonight,
I've been in love like you.
Be brave, young lovers, and follow your star,
Be brave and faithful and true,
Cling very close to each other tonight.
I've been in love like you.
I know how it feels to have wings on your heels,
And to fly down the street in a trance.
You fly down a street on the chance that you meet,
And you meet -- not really by chance.
Don't cry young lovers, whatever you do,
Don't cry because I'm alone;
All of my memories are happy tonight,
I've had a love of my own.
I've had a love of my own, like yours-
I've had a love of my own.