"you're a chip off the old block, and you cracked it when you left."
yes that wonderfully cheesy line came straight from the mouth of my dad. i had a wonderful conversation with him tonight for about half an hour. at the end when i told erin about it, she asked me if i was sure that i was talking to my dad. lol.
so i called him because erin wanted my parents to let my dad sit with them at the awards ceremony. and also i wanted to remind them about it. so then we just started talking. and he was asking me how things were going. and i told him i was worrying about not being able to transfer to fye in florida. and he told me he didnt understand why i wanted to keep working for fye. he said that i could do so much better and i shouldnt settle for that. so i flat out was like, "so you think i'll be okay if i go down to florida and dont have a job right away." and he said yes. and i was freaking out all day and that's what i needed to hear. especially from my dad. because he's always the one who's getting on my case about money.
i've been freaking out all day. because i talked to nazli and she had called the fye's that i gave her numbers for and they didnt have openings. i mean...i know i'll be okay, i know, i know, i know. hell, curtis lives right next to a mall, a walmart, a shopping center, and a few restaurants. and i tell myself that, over and over. and i know i'm not going to drop out. i'm going. but i shouldnt have started thinking about it so far ahead of time. i was all ready to go...but now i'm scared. because i dont usually make decisions like this. i prefer safe decisions. that's why i wanted to keep working at fye, because it's safe, it's stable, not because i particularly like it. hell, those of you who look at this with any sort of regularity know that. and i hate friendly's too. but i stayed there forever. cuz the thought of unstabilizing things scares me. and that's just what this move is going to do. well, on the one hand. on the other it will stabilize my life because i'll get to spend a few wonderful months with someone who i love very much. stupid love. if it werent for that i wouldnt have to make this decision. i'd just be working at fye up here over the summer, and possibly villa maria. but i can't do that now.
so anyway, back to the convo with my dad. so he and chere are still going to help me pay for new tires before i go to florida. i thought maybe that wasnt going to happen because when it was first an issue i was getting hit with a bunch of other payments as well. but now i have more money. but they are still going to pay for it. and then i was talking about whether i should send a graduation announcement to my aunt and uncle:
me: you're going to have to give me their address.
dad: yea i am because they moved.
me: from the shore?
dad: yea, their house got flooded.
me: in the hurricane?
dad: yea, their house was basically destroyed, it was condemned.
me: and you didnt think to tell me this before?
dad: it never came up.
me: dad, this is not the sort of thing that has to come up!
*sighs* he's funny. so i really needed some reassurance but hell, when is that different than any other time. but i'm really better than i used to be, i swear i am. i used to think that i was complete shit. now i'm really proud of myself and i realize that i've accomplished an incredible amount of stuff. it's just situations around me that send me into a frenzy.
so i went to walmart and bought love actually, one for me and one for erin. and i bought big fish. but apparently walmart has something against liner notes. and that pisses me off. grr.
and then i started packing up some stuff to cart home on sunday afternoon. i packed up a bunch of the random shit that was under my bed, my winter coat, my extra sheets and towels, sweaters, and my holiday socks. and i packed up my habitat stuff. and it was sad. that part of my life is basically over now.... *sniffs* *sniffs*
but now this post is really long and rambling and i need to finish my term paper before i go to bed...and i need to get up around 7:30 am for Undergrad Research Day.
so i called him because erin wanted my parents to let my dad sit with them at the awards ceremony. and also i wanted to remind them about it. so then we just started talking. and he was asking me how things were going. and i told him i was worrying about not being able to transfer to fye in florida. and he told me he didnt understand why i wanted to keep working for fye. he said that i could do so much better and i shouldnt settle for that. so i flat out was like, "so you think i'll be okay if i go down to florida and dont have a job right away." and he said yes. and i was freaking out all day and that's what i needed to hear. especially from my dad. because he's always the one who's getting on my case about money.
i've been freaking out all day. because i talked to nazli and she had called the fye's that i gave her numbers for and they didnt have openings. i mean...i know i'll be okay, i know, i know, i know. hell, curtis lives right next to a mall, a walmart, a shopping center, and a few restaurants. and i tell myself that, over and over. and i know i'm not going to drop out. i'm going. but i shouldnt have started thinking about it so far ahead of time. i was all ready to go...but now i'm scared. because i dont usually make decisions like this. i prefer safe decisions. that's why i wanted to keep working at fye, because it's safe, it's stable, not because i particularly like it. hell, those of you who look at this with any sort of regularity know that. and i hate friendly's too. but i stayed there forever. cuz the thought of unstabilizing things scares me. and that's just what this move is going to do. well, on the one hand. on the other it will stabilize my life because i'll get to spend a few wonderful months with someone who i love very much. stupid love. if it werent for that i wouldnt have to make this decision. i'd just be working at fye up here over the summer, and possibly villa maria. but i can't do that now.
so anyway, back to the convo with my dad. so he and chere are still going to help me pay for new tires before i go to florida. i thought maybe that wasnt going to happen because when it was first an issue i was getting hit with a bunch of other payments as well. but now i have more money. but they are still going to pay for it. and then i was talking about whether i should send a graduation announcement to my aunt and uncle:
me: you're going to have to give me their address.
dad: yea i am because they moved.
me: from the shore?
dad: yea, their house got flooded.
me: in the hurricane?
dad: yea, their house was basically destroyed, it was condemned.
me: and you didnt think to tell me this before?
dad: it never came up.
me: dad, this is not the sort of thing that has to come up!
*sighs* he's funny. so i really needed some reassurance but hell, when is that different than any other time. but i'm really better than i used to be, i swear i am. i used to think that i was complete shit. now i'm really proud of myself and i realize that i've accomplished an incredible amount of stuff. it's just situations around me that send me into a frenzy.
so i went to walmart and bought love actually, one for me and one for erin. and i bought big fish. but apparently walmart has something against liner notes. and that pisses me off. grr.
and then i started packing up some stuff to cart home on sunday afternoon. i packed up a bunch of the random shit that was under my bed, my winter coat, my extra sheets and towels, sweaters, and my holiday socks. and i packed up my habitat stuff. and it was sad. that part of my life is basically over now.... *sniffs* *sniffs*
but now this post is really long and rambling and i need to finish my term paper before i go to bed...and i need to get up around 7:30 am for Undergrad Research Day.