actually had an interesting day with the folks
they know all the right wrong things to say...
so after a rocky start with some discussion of my financial situation and my future plans...the day got off to a better start.
so apparently my parents had no clue i was dating curtis. they thought he was gay. not from meeting or anything. but because i talked about one of my friends that was gay and they assumed it was him. lol.
had way too much fun in ikea. my dad was spinning me in a kiddie chair shaped like an egg. got cheap stuff at ikea like some picture frames that are duct taped to the wall now. and a laundry hamper thing for $4.
ate at fuddrucker's. woo hoo!
went and helped my dad clean out my aunt ruth's house. she died a while ago and they are finally finishing the settlement on the house so we have to finish cleaning it out.
then i wrapped presents and did my laundry and watched home alone 2 and talked to curtis all at the same time. then i went back to school. and here i am.
and here's some interesting stuff if you feel so inclined...
my heart skips as i walk down the stairs where she fell
a note still on the meter from the life before hers
walking slowly through the empty house
bare walls
nothing left but cleaning supplies and curtains
listening hard for a whisper, a footstep
hard to do with all the racket in the basement
waiting to feel a hand on my shoulder
knowing it would scare me
but wanting a sign
how long had it been?
since the house was full
weeks, months...2 years
had we really celebrated two Thanksgivings without her
soon to be the second Christmas?
wishing to linger for longer
knowing we have to hurry because the house has been sold
not wanting to give it up that easily
desire to run my hand down every banister
trace each wall tile with my fingers
admire each design on the wallpaper
there's no time
feeling strange as i write this with her pen
the more i listen the creepier it gets
old houses are like that
wondering what the lone key in the cabinet is for
just a left over puzzle piece from a past life...
i found it folded up inside a bible:
Nov. 11, 1982
A great man died today. He wasn't a world leader, or a famous doctor, or a war hero or a sports figure, or a business tycoon. But he was a great man. He was Bill, my husband, whom I called "Boss."
He didn't get his picture in the paper for heading up things. I guess you might say, that he was a person, who never cared for credit or honor. He did "corny" things, like paying his bills on time, going to church on Sunday, tithing his income, which he contributed to his church and other charities, and holding offices in his church when needed. He delighted in helping some of his young friends and relatives with their algebra and other homework. He drove his wife ("chief" he called me) to do the grocery shopping or on other errands. He got his "kicks" out of driving his friends to various places when they had no means of transportation. He enjoyed simple things: church picnics outdoors, mowing the grass and choir music.
Tonight is the first night, as his wife, that I am without him. I hardly know what to do now, or how I'll manage in the future, without his gentle guidance. I thought if I'd write this tribute to him, it would lessen my heartache.
I am thankful for so many things. I'm very grateful because God let me have him, as my husband, for 48 years. I'm especially thankful that, I was able to let him know how much I loved him. He died with a smile on his face, as if he knew he was a success as a husband, brother, son, and a friend.
I wonder how many millionaires can say that? Not many, I suppose!
I feel somewhat more at peace after writing this tribute to him. I hope to sleep tonight and dream of our very happy and pleasant life together.
Goodbye "Boss" and Good Night. Sleep well!
Your "Chief"
so after a rocky start with some discussion of my financial situation and my future plans...the day got off to a better start.
so apparently my parents had no clue i was dating curtis. they thought he was gay. not from meeting or anything. but because i talked about one of my friends that was gay and they assumed it was him. lol.
had way too much fun in ikea. my dad was spinning me in a kiddie chair shaped like an egg. got cheap stuff at ikea like some picture frames that are duct taped to the wall now. and a laundry hamper thing for $4.
ate at fuddrucker's. woo hoo!
went and helped my dad clean out my aunt ruth's house. she died a while ago and they are finally finishing the settlement on the house so we have to finish cleaning it out.
then i wrapped presents and did my laundry and watched home alone 2 and talked to curtis all at the same time. then i went back to school. and here i am.
and here's some interesting stuff if you feel so inclined...
my heart skips as i walk down the stairs where she fell
a note still on the meter from the life before hers
walking slowly through the empty house
bare walls
nothing left but cleaning supplies and curtains
listening hard for a whisper, a footstep
hard to do with all the racket in the basement
waiting to feel a hand on my shoulder
knowing it would scare me
but wanting a sign
how long had it been?
since the house was full
weeks, months...2 years
had we really celebrated two Thanksgivings without her
soon to be the second Christmas?
wishing to linger for longer
knowing we have to hurry because the house has been sold
not wanting to give it up that easily
desire to run my hand down every banister
trace each wall tile with my fingers
admire each design on the wallpaper
there's no time
feeling strange as i write this with her pen
the more i listen the creepier it gets
old houses are like that
wondering what the lone key in the cabinet is for
just a left over puzzle piece from a past life...
i found it folded up inside a bible:
Nov. 11, 1982
A great man died today. He wasn't a world leader, or a famous doctor, or a war hero or a sports figure, or a business tycoon. But he was a great man. He was Bill, my husband, whom I called "Boss."
He didn't get his picture in the paper for heading up things. I guess you might say, that he was a person, who never cared for credit or honor. He did "corny" things, like paying his bills on time, going to church on Sunday, tithing his income, which he contributed to his church and other charities, and holding offices in his church when needed. He delighted in helping some of his young friends and relatives with their algebra and other homework. He drove his wife ("chief" he called me) to do the grocery shopping or on other errands. He got his "kicks" out of driving his friends to various places when they had no means of transportation. He enjoyed simple things: church picnics outdoors, mowing the grass and choir music.
Tonight is the first night, as his wife, that I am without him. I hardly know what to do now, or how I'll manage in the future, without his gentle guidance. I thought if I'd write this tribute to him, it would lessen my heartache.
I am thankful for so many things. I'm very grateful because God let me have him, as my husband, for 48 years. I'm especially thankful that, I was able to let him know how much I loved him. He died with a smile on his face, as if he knew he was a success as a husband, brother, son, and a friend.
I wonder how many millionaires can say that? Not many, I suppose!
I feel somewhat more at peace after writing this tribute to him. I hope to sleep tonight and dream of our very happy and pleasant life together.
Goodbye "Boss" and Good Night. Sleep well!
Your "Chief"