Heres my cranky pms entry (with a side order of depression)
New definition!!!
Procrastination: the reason Meagan is sitting at home on a Saturday night writing about Dolls & Menageries, and studying yam houses.
So im taking a break from school work to write something for myself. Not for any class, just for me, because I want to. Im starting to have doubts about the future of Brian and I. What kind of relationship can you have when you never see the person your dating? Im pretty sure Riley sees Matt more then i see Brian, and Matt lives in Orlando! At first i just tried to keep myself busy, working more, hanging out with Riley, actually focusing on school work. It worked for awhile. In fact its worked since this past summer. Thats when he really started spending alot of time over there. Recently i just feel forgotten. Today i saw him at 9am and he didnt call me at all. I finally called him at 6pm and we ended up arguing. Just like we always do. I keep remembering the way it used to be before he got the house. I keep hoping that it will all go back to that after the house is done. But the house is never done. He promised me Halloween, then Thanksgiving, and then Christmas. Now hes telling me Valentines Day. What makes it really bad is that whenever i complain about not seeing him, he makes me feel bad about it. Like im wrong for feeling that way. He says i should know better then to think that he has time to spend doing anything else. Everytime we actually do see each other, he uses that as an excuse as to why we dont need to see each other for the next week. "But i just spent sunday with you." Im so confused on what to do. I want things to work out. I love Brian more than anything but im starting to feel more anger twords him then love. I find myself thinking "what if" all the time. I know that if we do break up, even if it is just for a little while it will probably not ever be the same. All i know is that i cant keep doing this. My patience is wearing thin. Something has to give. Either he needs to spend more time with me and let the house get done later, or he needs to get it done now. I cant take this much longer.
Procrastination: the reason Meagan is sitting at home on a Saturday night writing about Dolls & Menageries, and studying yam houses.
So im taking a break from school work to write something for myself. Not for any class, just for me, because I want to. Im starting to have doubts about the future of Brian and I. What kind of relationship can you have when you never see the person your dating? Im pretty sure Riley sees Matt more then i see Brian, and Matt lives in Orlando! At first i just tried to keep myself busy, working more, hanging out with Riley, actually focusing on school work. It worked for awhile. In fact its worked since this past summer. Thats when he really started spending alot of time over there. Recently i just feel forgotten. Today i saw him at 9am and he didnt call me at all. I finally called him at 6pm and we ended up arguing. Just like we always do. I keep remembering the way it used to be before he got the house. I keep hoping that it will all go back to that after the house is done. But the house is never done. He promised me Halloween, then Thanksgiving, and then Christmas. Now hes telling me Valentines Day. What makes it really bad is that whenever i complain about not seeing him, he makes me feel bad about it. Like im wrong for feeling that way. He says i should know better then to think that he has time to spend doing anything else. Everytime we actually do see each other, he uses that as an excuse as to why we dont need to see each other for the next week. "But i just spent sunday with you." Im so confused on what to do. I want things to work out. I love Brian more than anything but im starting to feel more anger twords him then love. I find myself thinking "what if" all the time. I know that if we do break up, even if it is just for a little while it will probably not ever be the same. All i know is that i cant keep doing this. My patience is wearing thin. Something has to give. Either he needs to spend more time with me and let the house get done later, or he needs to get it done now. I cant take this much longer.