I hate making decisions...
I hate the fact that right now i have to make a big one and in making this decision i either lose either way. Depending on what i choose to do either my bf moves out and back to his parents until we eventually move, whenever that is, or i piss off my father and my sister, probably my mother and grandmother too.
See right now my sister, mother and father all live together due to some stuff that happened about 6 months ago , they all needed a home. Well, now my mother is moving back in with her boyfriend and his kids and my father is moving in with our grandmother until he moves out of state. Now, my sister. She needs a place to live. She can live with my mother and mike and either have the whole basement to herself or her own bedroom, rent free. She told my mother she will not live there again and instead is pushing heavily on me to let her live here, like she did for me when i needed a place to crash. The thing is that i was only at her house for a month. 1/2 of that i had a bed and 1/2 of it i slept on a couch. I was really rarely there when her and her boyfriend were home, id stay out til 2 or 3 am everyday so they could have their privacy.
I want to say yes to her. It would lower our bills for the next few months and allow us to save. The thing is Chris is so agaisnt this, but part of me is too. This is my life. Chris and i have a hard enough time fitting into this two bedroom apartment , let alone add another person to the mix. Not only that but if the rental office found out she was living here and we had a third car instead of the two that are allowed we can be evicted.
So either i help out my sister ( who still has two months to find her own place, or move in with my mother RENT FREE), and lose my boyfriend or say no to my sister and completely get the wrath of my entire family. I should not have to make this decision. I love my family. I love my boyfriend who is part of my family to me and before i get the " Well if he loved you hed help her out" speeches, Chris and i live our lives exactly how we want. We are both intensely private people ( though i guess you could say im not as private as i seem to write out my life story on this blog) and by allowing someone else into our home our lives literally have to change. We cant walk around in just underwear like we always do. We cant be up until 3 or 4 am everyday like we are ( my sisters room would be right off the living room). We'd have to move all our furniture around when we just finally got it set up how we like.Of course too, if Chris were to stay all of his shit would be going into our bedroom and the walls are pretty thin here, i can only imagine the noise complaints we would get from playing video games all night.
I am just so lost right now. I feel like a heartless person for not wanting my sister here, but i dont want to completely change my life. But i want her here because she is my sister and i want to help her. I already know she is going to act like a mother and be all bitchy that shit is dirty, or that we smoke too much bud etc etc.I have not been this depressed in a while,I slept until 2 pm today. Ive watched the entire season of Dead Like Me in about 12 hours. I just cleaned the living room and that took enough energy. Now, im looking at the kitchen and all i can do is cry because of all the dishes. And the laundry. OMG THE LAUNDRY. There are not enough hours in the day.
I wish i could just disapear then that way i would not have to make this decision. Oh yeah, my father also informed me that he will be storing shit in my garage. Oh, ok , glad that he asked. We dont even have any room down there, so now i have to throw my shit out too.
Im losing my mind.....and i have no clue what to do .
See right now my sister, mother and father all live together due to some stuff that happened about 6 months ago , they all needed a home. Well, now my mother is moving back in with her boyfriend and his kids and my father is moving in with our grandmother until he moves out of state. Now, my sister. She needs a place to live. She can live with my mother and mike and either have the whole basement to herself or her own bedroom, rent free. She told my mother she will not live there again and instead is pushing heavily on me to let her live here, like she did for me when i needed a place to crash. The thing is that i was only at her house for a month. 1/2 of that i had a bed and 1/2 of it i slept on a couch. I was really rarely there when her and her boyfriend were home, id stay out til 2 or 3 am everyday so they could have their privacy.
I want to say yes to her. It would lower our bills for the next few months and allow us to save. The thing is Chris is so agaisnt this, but part of me is too. This is my life. Chris and i have a hard enough time fitting into this two bedroom apartment , let alone add another person to the mix. Not only that but if the rental office found out she was living here and we had a third car instead of the two that are allowed we can be evicted.
So either i help out my sister ( who still has two months to find her own place, or move in with my mother RENT FREE), and lose my boyfriend or say no to my sister and completely get the wrath of my entire family. I should not have to make this decision. I love my family. I love my boyfriend who is part of my family to me and before i get the " Well if he loved you hed help her out" speeches, Chris and i live our lives exactly how we want. We are both intensely private people ( though i guess you could say im not as private as i seem to write out my life story on this blog) and by allowing someone else into our home our lives literally have to change. We cant walk around in just underwear like we always do. We cant be up until 3 or 4 am everyday like we are ( my sisters room would be right off the living room). We'd have to move all our furniture around when we just finally got it set up how we like.Of course too, if Chris were to stay all of his shit would be going into our bedroom and the walls are pretty thin here, i can only imagine the noise complaints we would get from playing video games all night.
I am just so lost right now. I feel like a heartless person for not wanting my sister here, but i dont want to completely change my life. But i want her here because she is my sister and i want to help her. I already know she is going to act like a mother and be all bitchy that shit is dirty, or that we smoke too much bud etc etc.I have not been this depressed in a while,I slept until 2 pm today. Ive watched the entire season of Dead Like Me in about 12 hours. I just cleaned the living room and that took enough energy. Now, im looking at the kitchen and all i can do is cry because of all the dishes. And the laundry. OMG THE LAUNDRY. There are not enough hours in the day.
I wish i could just disapear then that way i would not have to make this decision. Oh yeah, my father also informed me that he will be storing shit in my garage. Oh, ok , glad that he asked. We dont even have any room down there, so now i have to throw my shit out too.
Im losing my mind.....and i have no clue what to do .