Christmas Party at Nicodemus Terrace [12/17]

[mslanalang]

Lana had handwavily invited everyone still playing a bunch of people to stop by on Sunday to help decorate and celebrate the upcoming holidays. She'd also told her friends to invite along anyone else they might want

Comments

Re: Living Room

[medusae_x]

"Oh, well.. family.." Duce waved a hand airily, "I suppose they almost make up for living in Pahnsellvayneeyuh." She tried for an upper midwest accent and failed, sounding more like a Bostonian with a horrible headcold. "As long as there are no Amish. They're creepy. Will Smith runs a close second, only he's faster and black."

Regarding her strips somberly, she fumbled in her backpack for a glue stick and didn't find one. A moment of thought and a small shrug went into her solution. Licking one end of the paper strip, she folded it into a circle and tightly pressed the ends together, holding them for a moment until they tacked together. She repeated this with another couple strips, chaining them, before she answered again.

"You'd think, but he seems to have some superiorly unfortunate genetic material to begin with. Is it possible to be born with atrophy of the ass? Microbooty? Because I think he was. It's sad, really. I suppose if he bathed or did something with his hair, and if he had a good personality, maybe there'd be some hope for him, but since you mention his social skills are almost as small as his posterior, really, the guy should do us all a favour and stay off the streets."

Re: Living Room

[prof_ben]

Ben nodded. "Still plenty of non-Amish non-Will Smith creepy things in Pittsburgh," he said, particularly thinking of Brian Kinney, "some of our friends among them, but it suits us."

Ben finally gave in and laughed at Duce's comments on the yoga instructor. "I'm sorry sir, but you suffer from microbuttockophy, or underdevelopment of the gluteus maximus; you are not allowed to instruct any type of physical fitness wherein your ass plays a major role." He chuckled. "I really shouldn't be so mean, but boy does he give Buddhism, yoga and yoga instructors a bad name. I don't think he even understands that he puts people off, which is even worse."

Re: Living Room

[medusae_x]

Duce grinned, "I'll take your word on the Pittsburgh thing. My dad does business there, but I've never been."

"Exactly," she nodded in satisfaction, lick-chaining a few more rings onto her strand. "And he deserves mean. Anyone that .. unhygienic.. in public deserves whatever open mockery can be directed at them." Black lipstick creased as she repressed a chuckle. "If you have any influence with the.. Ok, what the hell do I call it? Is it a gym? A dojo? A wat? .. the yoga place, anyway, I'm all for you talking to them and getting someone less completely stinky to take over that class. Or, y'know, to hold the dude under some running water and dishsoap until he stops encouraging bacteria to have pre-marital sex. If you want help with that - the water thing - let me know. I can round up some bikers."

Re: Living Room

[prof_ben]

Ben looked at the strips he had, and continued with the tearing. HIV shouldn't be transmittable through dried saliva, but he wasn't too sure what others might think of him trying the lick-chain trick.

"Studio is the word I hear most, as for what to call it. I'm not sure I have much influence now that I've left, but I'll see what I can do. At the very least I can tell them I've heard people aren't happy with him, and why. I'm sure it won't be the first complaint they've received. I'm not sure most Buddhists would go for the whole 'forcing someone to bathe' thing, even if it was for his own good. And the good of sinus cavities everywhere."

Re: Living Room

[medusae_x]

If Duce could hear Ben's thoughts, the world would be in dire straits, because she'd probably encourage him to start spitting in people's drinks just to fuck with 'what people think'. Since she lacked telepathy, however..

"Want me to see if Lana has a junk drawer with some glue or tape? I suppose you don't want to have construction paper breath when you get all smoochy with your husband later. It's not mint flavoured, sadly. Although maybe if you had a candy cane afterward?" She peered up at Ben, as if considering it.

Duce grinned at the information. "Ah ha! A studio! Much better than 'thingy'. You can tell them he came two seconds from becoming a very ugly statue the one time I met him, if you think it'll help your case any. The only thing that saved him was I wasn't sure that the smell wouldn't cling to the pores of the rock as well. Getting another ticket for public nuisance would not make pater happy with me, and I'm trying to stay off his shit list right before Christmas."

She chained a few more rings. "Isn't Buddha all for doing good works and helping others to transcend their earthly limits? It'd definitely be doing that, especially if you use the literal form of 'earthly'."

Re: Living Room

[prof_ben]

"Glue or tape would be helpful, thanks." Ben wrinkled his nose. "While not quite as bad as the smell of Charlie, the taste of paper is not one of my favorites." He pondered the idea of Charlie as a statue. "While the Buddhist Center does like its statuary, I think a, uh, highly scented one would be a little beyond their desires. Buddha is all for recognizing that all suffering is an illusion, but I'm betting he never suffered the aroma of someone like Charlie."

Re: Living Room

[medusae_x]

Duce hopped to her feet and went rummaging through some kitchen drawers. Well, Lana had said 'make yourself at home'. One tiny, pale hand ducked into a drawer by the phone, scrabbling through the requisite odds and ends and other detritus of an ordinary life. Her fingers emerged a couple minutes later, waving a small roll of Scotch tape triumphantly.

Returning to her seat, she handed the roll to Ben and answered, "Can't say I blame you. I put up with it for spitballs, but that's about it." After a moment, she added hastily, "When I was younger, of course. I'm too old for that kind of shit now."

Mouth pursed, she reflected, "Well.. probably not. With all that nagk chapstha incense burning all the time, poor Buddha's probably hard pressed to smell anything at all."

Re: Living Room

[prof_ben]

Ben took the roll of tape and thanked her. "Too old for spitballs? I wasn't sure there was such a thing. My university students always seem to think they're age-appropriate."

Ben pursed his lips in thought as he started fixing the paper chain. "I wonder how much incense it would take to make the students not smell Charlie...although I'd guess it would probably be so much that would set off the fire alarms and cause smoke-inhalation damage to people's lungs."

Re: Living Room

[medusae_x]

"Most college kids are immature, purile little shitheads," Duce said with authority. She should know; she was one - they can smell their own. "Are you still teaching literature?"

Her pale nose wrinkled at the imagery. "Or get them raided as a headshop. That'd be bad. You gotta know a couple people in there will have been eating magic brownies or mushrooms or something while trying to find their own higher state of zen."

Re: Living Room

[prof_ben]

"I'm stuck in administrative hell for the next couple of weeks yet. I'm going back to teaching lit next semester. Hopefully another gay studies class or two as well, depending on enrollment."

Ben shook his head. "Unfortunately, you're right about some of the center's clientele. There are at least a few who think drugs are a good short-cut to enlightenment. Incense pouring out of the windows would probably get the attention of the police." He paused. "Or, considering the area it's in, some of the local drug addicts."

Re: Living Room

[medusae_x]

"Sounds like hell, only more boring," Duce commisserated. "I should think there'd be a bigger call for gay studies classes this year, what with it being an election year and all. And the vice president's lezbo daughter getting herself all preggers. Although studying that news item would probably fall under hypocricy and not gay studies." Definitely not opinionated, is Duce.

"Figured I was," she added, about the drugs. Coming to the end of her strips, she regarded the chain a moment and then pulled a piece of obnoxious yellow paper from the pad and folded it into a triangle. Using the tape, she fixed it to one end of the chain. "Is there any red paper left? I think it needs a tongue. The drug thing? Goes to show how stupid people can be. Trying to find enlightenment without doing any work kinda defeats the purpose of looking at all, or so I think."

Re: Living Room

[prof_ben]

Ben handed her a scrap of the red paper. "Mary getting pregnant is a big topic. Huge, actually, because of the anger its stirring up. Even if it's not discussed in lecture, it's sure to come up. Being a parent myself, I'm actually very interested in seeing what my students have to say, even if their arguments will definitely veer in a particular direction. At least the VP isn't being an ass about it; the only statement he's made is that they're looking forward to this grandchild."

"People do all sorts of things when they think it will 'open their mind.' Some people can't see the forest for the trees, so they take a chainsaw to all of them, without realizing they're destroying what they're trying to achieve."

((ooc: Crashing. Willing to SP.))

Re: Living Room

[medusae_x]

(ooc: Night! Will leave you sp threads of gorgon snark. I'll be slow all week due to work.)

Duce took the scrap of red and tore it into a tiny, 'Y' shaped tongue. Licking the single end, she affixed it to the end of the triangle. "I'm all for her squatting out as many kids as her uterus can handle," she said. "It's kind of a shame their other mother won't have any legal rights to them, and by kind of, I mean it's sick that it is. Dickhead may not have made any statements, but his politics speak for the real sentiments." She shrugged. "Politicians is dumb. Throw rocks at them."

"I suppose drugs are somewhat safer than tripanning. Cutting a hole in one's skull would seem, on the whole, to be a worse way to reach a higher state. But since drugs do the same damage without opening a physical wound, can't really say they're smarter." She shrugged again, "People is dumb. Throw rocks at them?"

Re: Living Room

[prof_ben]

"Perhaps being a mother, and learning what rights her partner doesn't have, will change some of the woman's politics. I'm not sure how she can back her father's policies, and not just those which affect her rights as someone in a committed same-sex relationship." He frowned. "I wonder how welcoming the family would have been toward their daughter's child if it had been the partner who had gotten pregnant."

Ben shuddered at the idea of cutting a hole in one's head. "Trepanning's been done for centuries, and people still haven't figured out it's not a good idea. I think the drugs actually do greater damage, in part because you can't see the effects as a wound. Granted, those who try trepanning on their own may not have much worth damaging anyway. Not sure I would advocate stoning anyone, although a few politicians would certainly benefit from the kind of stoning you can dole out. It would shut them up, at least."