It's alright,
(cuz there's beauty in the breakdown.)
And as it turns out, I'm exceptional at pushing people away, before they even have a chance to form an opinion about me. It's fear maybe, probably. And pride. I'm prideful. Hahahaha.
Can't you tell? I'm not myself. I'm a slow-motion accident. (I don't want to feel anything, but I do. And it all comes back to you.)
Don't get me wrong, this isn't one of those entries. I'm not singing to someone, or anyone in particular. Partly cos I'm feeling Frou Frou, and partly because it's vacation. (Ysab: "I have a feeling that you're drowining yourself in loneliness." Sweet, Sab, but you paint such a sad picture of me. Hahaha.)
I don't like to hear people out. It's tiring. I'm tired, a lot of the time. Nothing catches my attention anymore, and when it does, it's but a fleeting moment where I point out to myself all the reasons why it's simply not good enough for any sort of attention from me, or anyone, possibly. Maybe. Probably.
Apologies to you, if I ever hurt your feelings. You kinda got caught in the crossfire of my battle with, well, myself. I'm winning, at least.
I'm somewhere between. Just can't point it out, tho.
Today, I wasted my life, like young people are supposed to do. My car's back, all pretty and smooth and shiny, and it has a full tank of gas. What a pity, everything was closed. I am the perpetual victim of bad timing. Hahaha.
Nothing lasts anymore. Or maybe, probably, no one does.
I'm so tempted to ask the universe to prove something to me.
But the last time I asked of the universe, it actually delivered.
So I'm thinking it through, this time around. Hahahaha.
:)