My longest day
"Did you hear?
She..."
No
I'm not reliving that
I'm not reliving that shock
And feeling my heart stop
I'm not reliving that moment
Because maybe...if it's gone...
She'll be back
They'll both be safe
That fire in her eyes
She was so powerful
So strong
And to think that something...
So ridiculous
Could blow it out
Violently
The wax flying up
Burning the skin
Burning our lives
So many of us
I wish I could see that fire
Just one more time
But even then
I would refuse to let go
She was a powerful force
And was not afraid of others
It felt like someone was shaking me
Plucking me from my dream
And putting me into reality
We're not supposed to face reality yet
It's not for us
We're not ready
So why does reality have to happen?
I refuse to say it's not fair
Because all of us living each day
Is unfair
But what else can I feel and think
When I just felt them
I just laughed with them
They were in my hands
And now have been swept by the wind
As they turn to sand and slip
From my closed fist
So many of us walk these halls
Tears streaming down our faces
And we all know why
No one asks anymore
And the day drags on slowly
As we mourn
Some of us cannot carry on
And we fall in the middle of the hallways
Lay there and cry
It's hard to be expected
To function, to work
To continue life normally
When a light that was so
Bright in our lives
Has been extinguished
There has only been a moment
Where we could sit and allow ourselves to give our laments
Freely and openly
I'm trying to come to terms with this
I'm trying to open my hands
And whisper for it to leave
But I can't
I have to hold on
If I still have a grip on them
They aren't gone...
So here is my lament
And tears are falling over my hands
I am fighting to finish
I want them to know I love you
I want others to know
Life is precious
And in a blink of an eye it can be gone
This is not some cruel plague or joke
Played by a god
This is reality
That we all shelter ourselves from
Until we know that we must face it
Look down on us
Bring us out of tragedy
Heal these hearts
Wipe away these tears
Relight these candles
Even if we are alone
Can our outcry bring someone to us
And like a white feather falling
The wind will take us away
Into a land we cannot imagine
Where there will never be another
Light blown out
Another form vanished
Never will there be another reason
To claim this as
Unfair
I guess it's good when these things happen, simply because it reminds you of how precarious life is. How fleeting it is. And how...careful that we, that I need to be. It's really rough. And it doesn't help that it's happening for the second time this year. I just feel like...how I did then
I just saw them
There is no way
I just hugged them...
Maybe you should know what happened.
Two friends of mine last night were in a car accident. One was driving both of them, and turned into a lane to pass another car, and was hit head on. The one driving is alive. However...the other is dead. I loved them both quite a bit, even if we never got to hang out a whole lot.
The one driving is now in the hospital with two broken legs, a broken arm, and serious head trauma...
She doesn't even know her friend is gone...
Today, after I heard, went on for so long. I just wanted it to be over. I cried quite a bit... But when I first heard the news I thought... They're joking.
This isn't real.
And I swear to you my heart stopped...
So, through all of this, I have to say this has been my year of Tragedies.
Seems right it should be ending like this.