out again..
shafted again! gra... I'll write this here because i'm pretty sure neither of my sisters read this thing. I've been left behind again. They both got tattoos 2 months ago and never told me. I found a picture of Kelly's on Ry's computer... Everything I know about my sister's current lives I seem to find out through him, or through Alex, or my parents... Why don't they share anything with me? They'll talk to my friends, or even post about it to complete strangers on myspace. Maybe I'm just too different from them. Ever since I was a little kid they joked about me being adopted. I guess I've always felt alienated from them, and it looks like time hasn't done much to dispose of that feeling.
There must be something about me that is standoff-ish. Something that tells people I'm judgemental, dissaproving, reserved... just something that makes people back away from talking to me. What the hell makes me so different? Gra! I can't figure it out and god knows I've spent my whole life trying. Why couldn't they have called me up and told me? Would I have cared? Would I have sounded negative? I'd like to think not... but there must be some reason they thought I would have. Maybe I would have. Why can't I see myself from other people's eyes? I used to pride myself on being able to anticipate what people wanted from me so I'd do it first. I could tell what would make people laugh, what they wanted to hear. When did this go away, or was it ever really there? What the heck is going on??!?! Okay, I'm done.
Man, how a small occurance can push me to contemplate my entire existance. Not cool.
There must be something about me that is standoff-ish. Something that tells people I'm judgemental, dissaproving, reserved... just something that makes people back away from talking to me. What the hell makes me so different? Gra! I can't figure it out and god knows I've spent my whole life trying. Why couldn't they have called me up and told me? Would I have cared? Would I have sounded negative? I'd like to think not... but there must be some reason they thought I would have. Maybe I would have. Why can't I see myself from other people's eyes? I used to pride myself on being able to anticipate what people wanted from me so I'd do it first. I could tell what would make people laugh, what they wanted to hear. When did this go away, or was it ever really there? What the heck is going on??!?! Okay, I'm done.
Man, how a small occurance can push me to contemplate my entire existance. Not cool.