I think I'm starting to hallucinate, to save myself from the next chapter...

[msfledermaus]

In my newest installment of my review of Fifty Shades of Urk, Creeper Grey gives a pretty red car to his lady love, Miss Flubsy. But even when giving an awesome present, Creeper can't help but be a total and complete dick about it. He's all, 'Your car is horrible and unsafe. I'm giving you a new one so you don't die or something, and I don't care that you love that stupid piece of garbage...' Now, if I had my way in this plot, this is where Miss Flubsy turns him down with, "Alas, oh stalkery swain, I prefer my humble Beetle to your red chick-magnet car, not least because I pimped it out with nitro and added lasers, buzzsaws and robot-treads for rough terrain! I cribbed some notes while watching TankGirl the other night...now get lost!"

Really, I'm starting to picture these long, drawn-out chase scenes and explosions and drunken-monkey boxing segments just to get through this horribleness. And I've finished my Michael Pollan book! I need another smart book to boost me through! Someone, anyone, please recommend something for me, because obviously I can't be trusted, since I'm reading Fifty Shades of Grey of my own free will!
*Fret fret fret*