Dear Livejournal,
I admit it. I've been cheating on you. And not even with anything better, or more interesting. But I miss you.
I first met you way back in October of 2000, the 26th, to be exact. I was in a bad place, having just found out about the death of someone I loved very much, and needed somewhere to turn. You were there through all of that.
Over the years I met many new people because of you, and continued to be faithful. After awhile there was that brief, misguided fling with myspace, but, it was nothing compared to you.
I stayed faithful to you through all the major events in my life including my engagement, my wedding, and the birth of my first son. In fact, his every little milestone is chronicled here. More so than even his baby book.
And then, somewhere in the last couple years, I found facebook. And like every bad relationship story, I just keep going back. Sure, there's some happy moments, and sure I've connected with a lot of really cool people, but, I've lost you.
In losing you, I seem to have lost my words. I've become accustomed to 2 or 3 sentences to summarize my thoughts and experiences rather than unlimited space to share my heart. I've censored myself a little for broader consumption. And somehow, I've been ok with that.
But, every couple months, I come back here, and I try to type. And it feels daunting. How to say what I need to say with actual space. Like a city dweller in an open field...good Lord, what do I do with all this ROOM?
I'm not leaving facebook, it's useful, and serves me well. But, I'd like to come back. I'd like to find my voice again. In a safe space, with people I choose to share with.
We're going on 11 years here, LiveJournal. I hope you'll forgive me for straying.
~Heather
I first met you way back in October of 2000, the 26th, to be exact. I was in a bad place, having just found out about the death of someone I loved very much, and needed somewhere to turn. You were there through all of that.
Over the years I met many new people because of you, and continued to be faithful. After awhile there was that brief, misguided fling with myspace, but, it was nothing compared to you.
I stayed faithful to you through all the major events in my life including my engagement, my wedding, and the birth of my first son. In fact, his every little milestone is chronicled here. More so than even his baby book.
And then, somewhere in the last couple years, I found facebook. And like every bad relationship story, I just keep going back. Sure, there's some happy moments, and sure I've connected with a lot of really cool people, but, I've lost you.
In losing you, I seem to have lost my words. I've become accustomed to 2 or 3 sentences to summarize my thoughts and experiences rather than unlimited space to share my heart. I've censored myself a little for broader consumption. And somehow, I've been ok with that.
But, every couple months, I come back here, and I try to type. And it feels daunting. How to say what I need to say with actual space. Like a city dweller in an open field...good Lord, what do I do with all this ROOM?
I'm not leaving facebook, it's useful, and serves me well. But, I'd like to come back. I'd like to find my voice again. In a safe space, with people I choose to share with.
We're going on 11 years here, LiveJournal. I hope you'll forgive me for straying.
~Heather