*Yawn* *Sigh*
1 yr ago today I wasn't pregnant or engaged...weird how I ended up right back where I started :p
ACTUALLY about 1 yr ago I was sitting in my mother's living room lol....which is where I'll be again in about 2 days YAY!
God so much can happen in a yr. How in the hell do you go from loving some one so much that you get pregnant with his child and plan on marrying him....to not being able to stand the sound of his voice? It's a freaking mystery to me that's for sure.
Some have said that I just jump into shit way too quick and yup I do....but I think it's outta the fear of ending up with NO ONE.
The funny thing is.....Dec of 2004 I was positive I knew what I wanted. I left one of the only guys who really ever treated me like an equal because he wanted to wait too long for what I wanted. I don't regret that....if I didn't leave...I wouldn't have Tanner right now and that would really be shitty. But I find myself thinking of him often....as a matter of fact...I don't think I ever really stopped thinking about him to be 100% honest. And no...that isn't what caused a rift between Patrick and I ....Patrick did that all by himself.
And now unfortunately I couldn't even get back with him if I tried bc he is so far away and is only going to get farther. Not to meantion...I'm done having children and he wants his own. I dunno if I'll ever find a man who is content with just being a step-dad and never a dad. I mean I'm sure they're out there,but lets face it....I'm not exactly the most social person. I didn't get out much before and I get out even less now. The older the kids get the less likely it'll be that I'll have any "me" time.
Not with them going to school and doing extracurricular activities, and me cooking, cleaning and taking them places.
Looks like I better invest in some really good B.O.B.'s :p (anyone who doesn't get that is probably too young to and no I'm not explaining it)
ACTUALLY about 1 yr ago I was sitting in my mother's living room lol....which is where I'll be again in about 2 days YAY!
God so much can happen in a yr. How in the hell do you go from loving some one so much that you get pregnant with his child and plan on marrying him....to not being able to stand the sound of his voice? It's a freaking mystery to me that's for sure.
Some have said that I just jump into shit way too quick and yup I do....but I think it's outta the fear of ending up with NO ONE.
The funny thing is.....Dec of 2004 I was positive I knew what I wanted. I left one of the only guys who really ever treated me like an equal because he wanted to wait too long for what I wanted. I don't regret that....if I didn't leave...I wouldn't have Tanner right now and that would really be shitty. But I find myself thinking of him often....as a matter of fact...I don't think I ever really stopped thinking about him to be 100% honest. And no...that isn't what caused a rift between Patrick and I ....Patrick did that all by himself.
And now unfortunately I couldn't even get back with him if I tried bc he is so far away and is only going to get farther. Not to meantion...I'm done having children and he wants his own. I dunno if I'll ever find a man who is content with just being a step-dad and never a dad. I mean I'm sure they're out there,but lets face it....I'm not exactly the most social person. I didn't get out much before and I get out even less now. The older the kids get the less likely it'll be that I'll have any "me" time.
Not with them going to school and doing extracurricular activities, and me cooking, cleaning and taking them places.
Looks like I better invest in some really good B.O.B.'s :p (anyone who doesn't get that is probably too young to and no I'm not explaining it)