"your bookshelf says you are not human but desperately want to understand how to pretend to be"
Why Women Have Sex, The Psychology of Sex in Women's Own Voices: Understanding sexual motivations -- from adventure to revenge (and everything in between)
Manda comments in ( ) :D
Research shows that women are superior to men at reading nonverbal signals such as facial expressions and body movements. They decode facial expressions, evaluate vocal tones to assess sincerity, and gather information about a man's social reputation and sexual history. Some spend hours discussing specific conversations with their close friends, who help to evaluate a man's intenttions: "He said X, and then I said Y,...but did he look you in the eye when he said Z?"
Another key tactic that some women use involves insisting on a longer courtship before consenting to sex than men typically desire. Women also have specialized emotional defensives that protect them from being deceived. Research from the Buss Lab shows that women become extremely angry and upset when they discover that men have deceived them about the depth of their feelings in order to have sex. These emotions cause women to etch those deceptive episodes in memory, attend more closely in the future to possible instances of deception, and ultimately avoid future occurrences.
Evolutionary psychologist Martie Haselton discovered yet another defense women have to avoid being emotionally deceived by men: the commitment skepticism bias. On a second date, a man declares to a woman that he is deeply in love with her. Based on this cue, there are two possible errors of inference a woman can make. One would be to infer that he is lying, when in fact he truly loves her; the other would be to infer that he is telling the truth, when he is in fact practicing the art of deception. The commitment skepticism bias has developed in women to underinfer men's true levels of commitment. It helps women not to be overly impressed with easy-to-fake signals, such as verbal declarations of depth of feeling. It requires men who are truly committed to display additional commitment cues over a greater length of time.
Eleven percent actually did not choose one of these labels, opting for "other" -- including gay, lesbian, asexual, bi-curious, hetero-flexible, omnisexual, pansexual, queer, straight-plus, fluid, open, polyamorous, still questioning, and various combinations such as "mostly heterosexual plus a touch of gay." (my personal favorite is straight-plus! hah)
From an evolutionary perspective, orgasms could possibly even provide information on the quality of a man's genes and the likelihood he would make a good father, thus contributing to long-term fitness. To the extent that orgasms can be an immensely enjoyable experience, they could serve as a "lure" or "reward" for women to have intercourse with a particular partner. According to this view, women in our evolutionary past who experienced the sexual rewards of orgasm were more motivated to have sex than women who did not have orgasms. High motivation would lead t oa higher frequency of sex and hence a greater chance of pregnancy and reproduction.
Intercourse-induced ovulation does occur in some species, but this idea was discarded when it was shown that women ovulate in the middle of their menstrual cycle, regardless of whether intercourse or orgasm occurs. Later theorists proposed that the contractions that occur during orgasm in women cause a sort of uterine suction that moves ejaculated sperm through the cervix, uterus, and fallopian tubes much more efficiently. However, studies have now shown that the quickest way to transport sperm into a woman's uterus is when she is in a sexually unaroused state. (I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing - more time en route means more time for vaginal-environment selection, so that only the best possible sperm reach ovum)
Some researchers believe that the "amount" of love a person experiences depends on the absolute strength of the three components, and that couples are best matched if they possess similar levels of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Seven different love styles:
1) commitment, no intimacy or passion: empty love ("dining dead")
2) passion and commitment but no intimacy: foolish love, whirlwind courtships that fizzle quickly
3) intimacy without passion or commitment: liking love, close friendship
4) passion, intimacy, no commitment: romantic love
5) passion, no intimacy or commitment: infatuation love
6) intimacy, commitment, no passion: companionate love, long term unions in which sexual desire has faded
7) all 3: consumate love
http://www.cuddleparty.com/ (That is all.)
Some psychologists propose that jealousy reflects emotional wisdom, which gets activated when there is a genuine or possible threat to a romantic relationship. Consider the following case study: One Christmas Eve, a man looked across the street and thought that he observed the neighbor's window lights flashing in synchrony with the lights of the Christmas tree in his own house. He concluded with utter certainty that his wife was having an affair. When brought to counseling by his wife, the man was declared to be "delusional" and to suffer from pathological jealousy. Certainly, there was an irrational component to the man's jealousy, but he turned out to be correct in his suspicions. His wife was indeed having a torrid love affair, and was even having it with the neighbor he suspected.
Long ago, researchers who studied sexual behavior in rats discovered that if you drop a male rat into a cage with a willing female rat, he engages in enthusiastic copulation. He will mount her repeatedly until he is completely tired out and ready for the rhetorical post-ejaculatory "cigarette and nap." But if you replace his former sexual mate with another willing female, he becomes randy all over again. In fact, every time you replace the female with a new female, the male rat shows renewed vigor and begins copulating afresh. He will keep going and going with new females until he nearly dies of exhaustion. Scientists believe this happens because the rat's brain releases dopamine when he is presented with a new female. Amusingly, the name given to this phenomenon is "the Coolidge effect." When the study was done in women, researchers found that women were similarly aroused -- both genitally and meentally -- by erotic scenes of the same couple and of different couples -- even up to the twenty-first presentation. When the study was done in men, however, a very different pattern of arousal was seen. After a few presentations, men were more aroused when they saw erotic pictures of different people than when they saw the same couple.
In a study of 16,288 people in fifty-two nations, psychologist David Schmitt found that two personality traits were linked to sexual variety seeking in women -- extroversion and impulsiveness. The greatest predictor of infidelity in women was the personality trait of narcissism. Another survey found that individual differences in perfectionism were also related to relationship fidelity and sexual variety seeking. Those high in perfectionism appear to hold unrealistic or unattainable demands of sexual performance from their partners, which causes them to be continuously disappointed in the bedroom and consequently to look elsewhere for sexual gratification.
Pleasure cannot be shared; like Pain, it can only be experienced or inflicted, and when we give pleasure to our Lovers or bestow Charity upon the Needy, we do so, not to gratify the object of our Benevolence, but only ourselves. For the Truth is that we are kind for the same reason as we are cruel, in order that we may enhance the sense of our own Power. -- Aldous Huxley
Manda comments in ( ) :D
Research shows that women are superior to men at reading nonverbal signals such as facial expressions and body movements. They decode facial expressions, evaluate vocal tones to assess sincerity, and gather information about a man's social reputation and sexual history. Some spend hours discussing specific conversations with their close friends, who help to evaluate a man's intenttions: "He said X, and then I said Y,...but did he look you in the eye when he said Z?"
Another key tactic that some women use involves insisting on a longer courtship before consenting to sex than men typically desire. Women also have specialized emotional defensives that protect them from being deceived. Research from the Buss Lab shows that women become extremely angry and upset when they discover that men have deceived them about the depth of their feelings in order to have sex. These emotions cause women to etch those deceptive episodes in memory, attend more closely in the future to possible instances of deception, and ultimately avoid future occurrences.
Evolutionary psychologist Martie Haselton discovered yet another defense women have to avoid being emotionally deceived by men: the commitment skepticism bias. On a second date, a man declares to a woman that he is deeply in love with her. Based on this cue, there are two possible errors of inference a woman can make. One would be to infer that he is lying, when in fact he truly loves her; the other would be to infer that he is telling the truth, when he is in fact practicing the art of deception. The commitment skepticism bias has developed in women to underinfer men's true levels of commitment. It helps women not to be overly impressed with easy-to-fake signals, such as verbal declarations of depth of feeling. It requires men who are truly committed to display additional commitment cues over a greater length of time.
Eleven percent actually did not choose one of these labels, opting for "other" -- including gay, lesbian, asexual, bi-curious, hetero-flexible, omnisexual, pansexual, queer, straight-plus, fluid, open, polyamorous, still questioning, and various combinations such as "mostly heterosexual plus a touch of gay." (my personal favorite is straight-plus! hah)
From an evolutionary perspective, orgasms could possibly even provide information on the quality of a man's genes and the likelihood he would make a good father, thus contributing to long-term fitness. To the extent that orgasms can be an immensely enjoyable experience, they could serve as a "lure" or "reward" for women to have intercourse with a particular partner. According to this view, women in our evolutionary past who experienced the sexual rewards of orgasm were more motivated to have sex than women who did not have orgasms. High motivation would lead t oa higher frequency of sex and hence a greater chance of pregnancy and reproduction.
Intercourse-induced ovulation does occur in some species, but this idea was discarded when it was shown that women ovulate in the middle of their menstrual cycle, regardless of whether intercourse or orgasm occurs. Later theorists proposed that the contractions that occur during orgasm in women cause a sort of uterine suction that moves ejaculated sperm through the cervix, uterus, and fallopian tubes much more efficiently. However, studies have now shown that the quickest way to transport sperm into a woman's uterus is when she is in a sexually unaroused state. (I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing - more time en route means more time for vaginal-environment selection, so that only the best possible sperm reach ovum)
Some researchers believe that the "amount" of love a person experiences depends on the absolute strength of the three components, and that couples are best matched if they possess similar levels of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Seven different love styles:
1) commitment, no intimacy or passion: empty love ("dining dead")
2) passion and commitment but no intimacy: foolish love, whirlwind courtships that fizzle quickly
3) intimacy without passion or commitment: liking love, close friendship
4) passion, intimacy, no commitment: romantic love
5) passion, no intimacy or commitment: infatuation love
6) intimacy, commitment, no passion: companionate love, long term unions in which sexual desire has faded
7) all 3: consumate love
http://www.cuddleparty.com/ (That is all.)
Some psychologists propose that jealousy reflects emotional wisdom, which gets activated when there is a genuine or possible threat to a romantic relationship. Consider the following case study: One Christmas Eve, a man looked across the street and thought that he observed the neighbor's window lights flashing in synchrony with the lights of the Christmas tree in his own house. He concluded with utter certainty that his wife was having an affair. When brought to counseling by his wife, the man was declared to be "delusional" and to suffer from pathological jealousy. Certainly, there was an irrational component to the man's jealousy, but he turned out to be correct in his suspicions. His wife was indeed having a torrid love affair, and was even having it with the neighbor he suspected.
Long ago, researchers who studied sexual behavior in rats discovered that if you drop a male rat into a cage with a willing female rat, he engages in enthusiastic copulation. He will mount her repeatedly until he is completely tired out and ready for the rhetorical post-ejaculatory "cigarette and nap." But if you replace his former sexual mate with another willing female, he becomes randy all over again. In fact, every time you replace the female with a new female, the male rat shows renewed vigor and begins copulating afresh. He will keep going and going with new females until he nearly dies of exhaustion. Scientists believe this happens because the rat's brain releases dopamine when he is presented with a new female. Amusingly, the name given to this phenomenon is "the Coolidge effect." When the study was done in women, researchers found that women were similarly aroused -- both genitally and meentally -- by erotic scenes of the same couple and of different couples -- even up to the twenty-first presentation. When the study was done in men, however, a very different pattern of arousal was seen. After a few presentations, men were more aroused when they saw erotic pictures of different people than when they saw the same couple.
In a study of 16,288 people in fifty-two nations, psychologist David Schmitt found that two personality traits were linked to sexual variety seeking in women -- extroversion and impulsiveness. The greatest predictor of infidelity in women was the personality trait of narcissism. Another survey found that individual differences in perfectionism were also related to relationship fidelity and sexual variety seeking. Those high in perfectionism appear to hold unrealistic or unattainable demands of sexual performance from their partners, which causes them to be continuously disappointed in the bedroom and consequently to look elsewhere for sexual gratification.
Pleasure cannot be shared; like Pain, it can only be experienced or inflicted, and when we give pleasure to our Lovers or bestow Charity upon the Needy, we do so, not to gratify the object of our Benevolence, but only ourselves. For the Truth is that we are kind for the same reason as we are cruel, in order that we may enhance the sense of our own Power. -- Aldous Huxley