(no subject)
I'm 25. That's a quarter of a century! I've been around for a fraction of a historically meaningful chunk of time. Weird. I feel blessed to have been around so long and blessed that I get to be around going forward.
I think I'm settling into life more. My goals are more concrete-- to pass the boards, to learn the physical exam, to contribute to caring for patients, to work well with my peers and stay connected with friends. I'm worried less about figuring how the world works or my place in it. These things are still interesting but the spectrum of exploration is a little narrower. I'm not going to be a marine biologist or a bench researcher or even a particularly serious writer in the foreseeable future. And that's ok. I think it's taken me longer than most to get comfortable with the idea of not trying to do some of everything.
I've been at a church for a while that talks a lot about pursuing life in all its fullness. A lot of the time this means taking on something new or additional, many of the suggestions are investing time in relationships or service or growth in community. Med school and being outside the city, not quite on a subway line have really cut my capacity to be present in church or even spend time building friendships. I've hunkered down into old friendships some and it took me a while to come around to seeing how much I needed to develop trust and friendships with my classmates. I spent too much of this year thinking of them as colleagues rather than as friends and getting wrapped up in insecurities or pride or competition that was no good. And then running down to the city for church a day every week sustained me gave me joy and strength as well as the encouragement to get over myself and get to know people up here. It took a lot of time away from my life on campus though too and kept me from connecting with the community where I live. Life in its fullness needs both breadth and depth and sometimes being a little bit present in too many things you end up with not much to show for it.
So I think I"m going to start coming to a church in the neighborhood regularly once I come back from Guatemala.
Did I mention, Guatemala? I'm going there this summer to learn Spanish, do some volunteering, learn the lay of the land, and be with some awesome people from my class. Modest goals, school sponsored-- Yay! Global Health Office! Hopefully I won't get malaria or fall down a volcano but with my history...
Maybe this trip is a reaching for breadth. The travel bug in me is kind of fading out, but I really would like to be able to talk to and understand my Spanish speaking patients. Guatemala has great language schools. I'll be staying with a host family which I'm a little bit nervous about, because who am I to receive hospitality? Hopefully though we'll be able to share and it'll be a mutual blessing. Anyway, I guess I should write more about this later...
I think I'm settling into life more. My goals are more concrete-- to pass the boards, to learn the physical exam, to contribute to caring for patients, to work well with my peers and stay connected with friends. I'm worried less about figuring how the world works or my place in it. These things are still interesting but the spectrum of exploration is a little narrower. I'm not going to be a marine biologist or a bench researcher or even a particularly serious writer in the foreseeable future. And that's ok. I think it's taken me longer than most to get comfortable with the idea of not trying to do some of everything.
I've been at a church for a while that talks a lot about pursuing life in all its fullness. A lot of the time this means taking on something new or additional, many of the suggestions are investing time in relationships or service or growth in community. Med school and being outside the city, not quite on a subway line have really cut my capacity to be present in church or even spend time building friendships. I've hunkered down into old friendships some and it took me a while to come around to seeing how much I needed to develop trust and friendships with my classmates. I spent too much of this year thinking of them as colleagues rather than as friends and getting wrapped up in insecurities or pride or competition that was no good. And then running down to the city for church a day every week sustained me gave me joy and strength as well as the encouragement to get over myself and get to know people up here. It took a lot of time away from my life on campus though too and kept me from connecting with the community where I live. Life in its fullness needs both breadth and depth and sometimes being a little bit present in too many things you end up with not much to show for it.
So I think I"m going to start coming to a church in the neighborhood regularly once I come back from Guatemala.
Did I mention, Guatemala? I'm going there this summer to learn Spanish, do some volunteering, learn the lay of the land, and be with some awesome people from my class. Modest goals, school sponsored-- Yay! Global Health Office! Hopefully I won't get malaria or fall down a volcano but with my history...
Maybe this trip is a reaching for breadth. The travel bug in me is kind of fading out, but I really would like to be able to talk to and understand my Spanish speaking patients. Guatemala has great language schools. I'll be staying with a host family which I'm a little bit nervous about, because who am I to receive hospitality? Hopefully though we'll be able to share and it'll be a mutual blessing. Anyway, I guess I should write more about this later...