Helpful Tips For Bosses-- First In A Series
You spend all that time obsessing about security-- background checks, drug tests, credit checks, buildings full of cameras, and then yet more background checks-- because you yourselves are thieves. Professionals, at that. It's all there is to you inside and thus it's all you can see outside, in the rest of us. No matter how many times the tests come back negative, you can't actually believe in them. After all, everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie. Since you constantly get away with truly Olympian levels of dishonesty, it must mean that the rest of us get away with it, too-- Actual evidence be damned.
Paradoxically, this makes you a person who thoroughly deserves to be robbed. You degrade and humiliate us, your subordinates, daily, as a matter of course. You sow backbiting, self-hatred and almost debilitating levels of anxiety in us and frequently this renders us unable to actually do the jobs you have outlined.
From a practical standpoint, you are likely spending far more on your insane levels of security than you could possibly lose from the occasional low-level thief. So this can't just be about money. No, I think it's primarily about you getting off on being the all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful shitheel.
I could point out that I was never at any time in my life convicted of a petty crime, but even that misses the point. Even some schmuck who rifled through a convenience store till once five years ago to feed his crack/meth habit and did time for it deserves better now than your relentless, smug bullying and your thousand buckets of sugar-coated bullshit.
You are a waste of space. You are repulsive excuses for human beings and the world would be an infinitely better place without you.
Paradoxically, this makes you a person who thoroughly deserves to be robbed. You degrade and humiliate us, your subordinates, daily, as a matter of course. You sow backbiting, self-hatred and almost debilitating levels of anxiety in us and frequently this renders us unable to actually do the jobs you have outlined.
From a practical standpoint, you are likely spending far more on your insane levels of security than you could possibly lose from the occasional low-level thief. So this can't just be about money. No, I think it's primarily about you getting off on being the all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful shitheel.
I could point out that I was never at any time in my life convicted of a petty crime, but even that misses the point. Even some schmuck who rifled through a convenience store till once five years ago to feed his crack/meth habit and did time for it deserves better now than your relentless, smug bullying and your thousand buckets of sugar-coated bullshit.
You are a waste of space. You are repulsive excuses for human beings and the world would be an infinitely better place without you.