fic; I Love Him, He Loves Me Not
Title : I Love Him, He Loves Me Not
Rating : PG-13
Pairings : HaeHyuk
Genre : angst
Warning : mad brain of mine and heart broken Hyuk
Summary : I love him and will always love him.
Donghae’s POV
I walk through the street only to find a big lake in front of me. I kept staring at the lake, having no idea where I was and why I was there. The more I see at the far end of the lake, the more I can figure someone on the opposite of the lake. I tried to focus my vision on that person. I tried to call that person, but the person never turned his/her head to me. I don’t know why but I really want to see that person. I ran from my spot, tried to find a way to across the lake. I roamed my eyes to the lake and saw a gondola near the lake. How come there’s a gondola here, I have no idea. I pushed the thing to the lake and started to move the gondola to across the lake. In the middle of the lake, I started to see the person clearly
The person was sitting with both hands covering his/her face. The person had short red hair and slim figure. Maybe that’s a she. I tried to call that person once again but I stop dead on my tracks to get closer. I heard the person crying, sobbing, anything like that. I usually never pay attention to that kind of thing, but this time I didn’t know why, but I felt so bad. It looked like that the guilty one was me. The more I heard the person cried, the more my heart hurt. I couldn’t move from my spot. I couldn’t utter any words. That’s when I heard the person said a word that made me feel like the biggest jerk in the world.
“Donghae…Donghae…Donghae….”
KRRRRIIIINGGGGG….
“Lee Donghae wake up!”
I suddenly woke up sweating. Wow.. My mom voice is really something.
“Right Umma, Now would you please get out” I’ll take a bath now”
“Good, hurry okay”
My mom said and ruffled my hair. Oh my god! What day is it today? Monday again? So tiring. I still lay on my bed when the dream across my mind. It’s been a week since the first time I got that dream and still don’t know who that person is. I think about that person. Why did that person call my name? Who’s that person? Why did that person cry like that? Ah… my head hurts!
Thinking that person cried once again made my heart hurts, just like in my dream. I don’t know why but I really don’t like it seeing that person crying. I have this urge to calm that person and give him or her a hug.
“Lee Donghae! You are still there? Oh my god son! It’s 8 am already! Wake up now!”
I didn’t notice my mom came in once again. I better get up now or else I’ll be a toast. I better stop thinking about that dream. That’s just a dream anyway, a continuous dream. Maybe next week it’ll be gone, hopefully.
********
I walk through the corridor of the campus to go to my class. Suddenly, I heard a cried. That sob again, I heard it again in my head. I try to get rid of it but, the more I try, the louder the cried. I feel really guilty, but I don’t know why.
“Donghae bro…. What’s up? Why are you standing here? Our class is there”
“Yunho! I just thinking about something” I said while walking with my best fried, Yunho.
“What are you thinking about? A new song?”
“A new song…. Yes. Our new song” I said but frowning a little.
“What’s with the frowning, Hae? It’s still morning and you are already frowning. That’s bad, dude”
“Told you already, I am thinking”
“Alright, now tell me what you are thinking about.”
“I..”
“Don’t lie to me” Yunho cut me first. How come this guy knows that I’m going to lie to him?
“Okay. It’s just I’m having nightmare these past few days.” I told him the truth
“What kind of nightmare?”
Yunho asked me while finding the good back seat for us.
“Well, there’s someone across the lake, crying and calling my name” Yunho laughed hearing it.”What are you laughing at?” I playfully punch him.
“Nothing. Who’s that? You girlfriend?” Yunho laughed again
“I’m not joking about it Yunho and you know that I don’t have any girlfriend since I was born”
That’s true. I have no girlfriend or boyfriend since I was born. Yeah, weird right, I’m a vocalist of a well known college band and I have no girlfriend. I tried to have one, but every time I tried, I always have this sad feeling. When I’m with one of my crush, I will suddenly heard that voice again calling my name and that person again crying across the lake.
Besides, every time I try to build a relationship, I feel that she’s not the right person, he’s not the one I want. My dad always told me that there’s only one person for one person. That one person is soul mate. Finding a soul mate is not easy, it takes time. And every time I am with someone I like, I always think that I haven’t found my soul mate yet. There’s still this kind of emptiness in my heart. I feel like I betrayed someone, that person, my soul mate.
“Donghae…”
I look beside me and find Yunho try to get my attention. I raise my eye brow to ask what he wants now. Yunho then write something and give me the paper. I read the paper
‘Don’t stress too much dude. We have a show tomorrow and I don’t want you to look bad at it and loose our fans. You are the asset Mr. Vocalist. Now stop thinking and do tour thing!’
I laughed reading it. I have no idea how mental my friend is until now. I just write something for a reply.
‘Asset? Oh yes. I’m totally valuable to our band. Oh, Yunho don’t mingle too much with that Jaejoong guy. He’s weird and his weirdness starts to get into you, man’
I give the paper back to him only to receive a ‘fuck you’ as a reply. I just shrug it off and listen to whatever the lecture says.
*****
Today my campus holds an art day. It happens once a year and every club must perform something. My band and I as usual will perform today. The campus gone wild again because of this event and they are pretty cool but the girls are scary. They try to do anything to get close to me. I hate them, those bitches!
I really never pay much attention to what Yunho said as my fans. I hate it when people screamed like that. It gives me headache. As long as they don’t disturb me, I won’t bite them and as long as they are cool with me, I’m cool too. Yunho said I’m arrogant and selfish but what can I do? That’s what I am.
I already finish my performance and really want to get out of this place. These bitches are following me like a chicken. I really want to push them away but my so called manager, Yoochun will of course be mad at me. I’ll just let them be.
I am walking to the toilet when I heard that cried again. Now it’s not in my head, but it really is real. I even heard another voice.
“Shut it, Hyuk…. Stop crying. You promised me that you won’t cry at public place”
“Sorry, Min. just can’t help it anymore. I shouldn’t have come from the first time. Sorry.”
“Stop it. Now, wipe your tears and let just go home”
I try to look for the source of the voice. I have this urge to find the owner of the voices. My heart beats faster than before and I can’t control my breath. I want to scream to ask that person to wait for me but I don’t know what I should say. I don’t know why but I really want that person to stay.
I can’t find that person. Shit! I stop running and sit on the floor, try to catch my breath. I quietly start to think about that person again. That person is real. That person is real. I keep saying that in my mind. I clutch my chest, so damn hurt in there and now I start to figure out why. It’s because that person is crying, for me and that person is real.
Oh my god. It’s so fucking hurt. My heart and my head. I hate it.
“Get out of my mind you fucking bitch!”
I lay there lifelessly, tired and broken. I don’t know why but I feel like I’ve been stabbed in my chest thousands times. I don’t know when I start crying. I don’t know when I screamed like a crazy there. I don’t know how many hours I’ve been laying there, hoping that person will be back. no! I don’t want that person back! I want that person to get out of my mind!
I don’t know why, but telling my self to get rid of that person feels so wrong. I feel like a fucking jerk. I don’t want that person to get hurt. I don’t want to hear that person cried again, I want to hear that person’s laugh. I sound really pathetic now.
“I’m sorry…. I’m sorry…”
******
3rd Person’s POV
Donghae wake up in his room the next morning. He has no idea how come he is there, sleeping in his room. The last think he remembers is he was laying tiredly on the floor at his campus building. He sit up and look around. It really is his room. He walks to the door and open it. He hears voices down stair. He starts to walk down stair and was surprised seeing there are many people there. He recognizes some, but not the two guys sitting on the couch. The one is talking to his mom and the other with the red hair just look at his knees. He wonders who they are.
“Donghae! Dude… you are awake man!”
Yunho then hugs Donghae, followed by his others band mate. His mom then follow suit after peeling the other guys from his son.
“Donghae…. My son. What was happening to you? Were you that tired until you sleep on the floor? Or are you sick? Tell Umma which part is sick? Your brother is coming home really quickly now just hang on, okay son?”
“Umma… stop it. I’m fine.” Donghae assures her with a smile.
“Oh…. Thanks god you are okay. Thanks to you two too. Thanks for helping my son”
Donghae’s mom said while turning to look at the strangers. Donghae looks at them too. The strangers do the same and Donghae leave frozen.
“Say thanks to them Hae..”
Donghae says his thanks but can’t take his eyes off the red haired guy. He doesn’t know why but there’s something familiar about that guy. The red haired guy looks at him for a moment then looks down again. Donghae’s heart beat like crazy and he wonders why.
Donghae suddenly remembers that person. Donghae unconsciously starts to walk to the red haired guy. The others just stay still and watch. Donghae then kneel in front of him. The other guy just looks down and starts to sit uncomfortably
Donghae then lift hat guy chin so they are now face to face. Donghae can see the guy face is red like tomato but he has pretty eyes, perfect jaw line and beautiful face. Suddenly Donghae have this urge to say sorry to him
“I’m sorry..” Donghae said
“What?”
“I said I’m sorry..” Donghae repeated
“W-what for? We-we just met” the guy said
“That’s why I’m sorry. I’m sorry for taking this long to find you…”
The red haired guy just blushed madly and starts to look down once again but Donghae stops him.
“Look at me, don’t look down. It’s been a long time I’m looking for you and now I want to see your face. Please look at me.”
The red head man stay still, looks into Donghae’s brown orbs, enjoying it.
“What should I call you?”
“I-I am Hyukjae”
“Well then Hyukkie….”
Hyukjae starts to cry again. He can’t believe that Donghae’s in front of him now and Donghae calls him by his nick name.
“Hyukkie, from the first time I see you, I always have this urge to hug you and stop you from crying, now can I?”
Donghae asks and then hugs Hyukjae. He hugs Hyukjae tightly, afraid he would disappear and afraid this is just a dream. Hyukjae does the same. He hugs Donghae as if there’s no other day. The others just watch them with an amused face. They don’t understand what is happening but Sungmin only smile in joy for his beloved friend to find his long lost heart.
“It’s okay now Hyukkie, it’s going to be fine from now on. This is the fate that you want right?”
*****
PS:
Hi! ms.w is here…here you go. The sequel. But I still think there’s a part three you know. Hahahaha…
I’m going crazy now. I’m sorry for the crap things and bad languages.
I have decided to give this story a happy ending because I really hope I will have my happy ending story too in real life.
And…and…and… today is my special day! That’s why I want to update really bad. I wish my self a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
And Happy 2011…. Wish for the new side of world to see and wish you all the best
Rating : PG-13
Pairings : HaeHyuk
Genre : angst
Warning : mad brain of mine and heart broken Hyuk
Summary : I love him and will always love him.
Donghae’s POV
I walk through the street only to find a big lake in front of me. I kept staring at the lake, having no idea where I was and why I was there. The more I see at the far end of the lake, the more I can figure someone on the opposite of the lake. I tried to focus my vision on that person. I tried to call that person, but the person never turned his/her head to me. I don’t know why but I really want to see that person. I ran from my spot, tried to find a way to across the lake. I roamed my eyes to the lake and saw a gondola near the lake. How come there’s a gondola here, I have no idea. I pushed the thing to the lake and started to move the gondola to across the lake. In the middle of the lake, I started to see the person clearly
The person was sitting with both hands covering his/her face. The person had short red hair and slim figure. Maybe that’s a she. I tried to call that person once again but I stop dead on my tracks to get closer. I heard the person crying, sobbing, anything like that. I usually never pay attention to that kind of thing, but this time I didn’t know why, but I felt so bad. It looked like that the guilty one was me. The more I heard the person cried, the more my heart hurt. I couldn’t move from my spot. I couldn’t utter any words. That’s when I heard the person said a word that made me feel like the biggest jerk in the world.
“Donghae…Donghae…Donghae….”
KRRRRIIIINGGGGG….
“Lee Donghae wake up!”
I suddenly woke up sweating. Wow.. My mom voice is really something.
“Right Umma, Now would you please get out” I’ll take a bath now”
“Good, hurry okay”
My mom said and ruffled my hair. Oh my god! What day is it today? Monday again? So tiring. I still lay on my bed when the dream across my mind. It’s been a week since the first time I got that dream and still don’t know who that person is. I think about that person. Why did that person call my name? Who’s that person? Why did that person cry like that? Ah… my head hurts!
Thinking that person cried once again made my heart hurts, just like in my dream. I don’t know why but I really don’t like it seeing that person crying. I have this urge to calm that person and give him or her a hug.
“Lee Donghae! You are still there? Oh my god son! It’s 8 am already! Wake up now!”
I didn’t notice my mom came in once again. I better get up now or else I’ll be a toast. I better stop thinking about that dream. That’s just a dream anyway, a continuous dream. Maybe next week it’ll be gone, hopefully.
********
I walk through the corridor of the campus to go to my class. Suddenly, I heard a cried. That sob again, I heard it again in my head. I try to get rid of it but, the more I try, the louder the cried. I feel really guilty, but I don’t know why.
“Donghae bro…. What’s up? Why are you standing here? Our class is there”
“Yunho! I just thinking about something” I said while walking with my best fried, Yunho.
“What are you thinking about? A new song?”
“A new song…. Yes. Our new song” I said but frowning a little.
“What’s with the frowning, Hae? It’s still morning and you are already frowning. That’s bad, dude”
“Told you already, I am thinking”
“Alright, now tell me what you are thinking about.”
“I..”
“Don’t lie to me” Yunho cut me first. How come this guy knows that I’m going to lie to him?
“Okay. It’s just I’m having nightmare these past few days.” I told him the truth
“What kind of nightmare?”
Yunho asked me while finding the good back seat for us.
“Well, there’s someone across the lake, crying and calling my name” Yunho laughed hearing it.”What are you laughing at?” I playfully punch him.
“Nothing. Who’s that? You girlfriend?” Yunho laughed again
“I’m not joking about it Yunho and you know that I don’t have any girlfriend since I was born”
That’s true. I have no girlfriend or boyfriend since I was born. Yeah, weird right, I’m a vocalist of a well known college band and I have no girlfriend. I tried to have one, but every time I tried, I always have this sad feeling. When I’m with one of my crush, I will suddenly heard that voice again calling my name and that person again crying across the lake.
Besides, every time I try to build a relationship, I feel that she’s not the right person, he’s not the one I want. My dad always told me that there’s only one person for one person. That one person is soul mate. Finding a soul mate is not easy, it takes time. And every time I am with someone I like, I always think that I haven’t found my soul mate yet. There’s still this kind of emptiness in my heart. I feel like I betrayed someone, that person, my soul mate.
“Donghae…”
I look beside me and find Yunho try to get my attention. I raise my eye brow to ask what he wants now. Yunho then write something and give me the paper. I read the paper
‘Don’t stress too much dude. We have a show tomorrow and I don’t want you to look bad at it and loose our fans. You are the asset Mr. Vocalist. Now stop thinking and do tour thing!’
I laughed reading it. I have no idea how mental my friend is until now. I just write something for a reply.
‘Asset? Oh yes. I’m totally valuable to our band. Oh, Yunho don’t mingle too much with that Jaejoong guy. He’s weird and his weirdness starts to get into you, man’
I give the paper back to him only to receive a ‘fuck you’ as a reply. I just shrug it off and listen to whatever the lecture says.
*****
Today my campus holds an art day. It happens once a year and every club must perform something. My band and I as usual will perform today. The campus gone wild again because of this event and they are pretty cool but the girls are scary. They try to do anything to get close to me. I hate them, those bitches!
I really never pay much attention to what Yunho said as my fans. I hate it when people screamed like that. It gives me headache. As long as they don’t disturb me, I won’t bite them and as long as they are cool with me, I’m cool too. Yunho said I’m arrogant and selfish but what can I do? That’s what I am.
I already finish my performance and really want to get out of this place. These bitches are following me like a chicken. I really want to push them away but my so called manager, Yoochun will of course be mad at me. I’ll just let them be.
I am walking to the toilet when I heard that cried again. Now it’s not in my head, but it really is real. I even heard another voice.
“Shut it, Hyuk…. Stop crying. You promised me that you won’t cry at public place”
“Sorry, Min. just can’t help it anymore. I shouldn’t have come from the first time. Sorry.”
“Stop it. Now, wipe your tears and let just go home”
I try to look for the source of the voice. I have this urge to find the owner of the voices. My heart beats faster than before and I can’t control my breath. I want to scream to ask that person to wait for me but I don’t know what I should say. I don’t know why but I really want that person to stay.
I can’t find that person. Shit! I stop running and sit on the floor, try to catch my breath. I quietly start to think about that person again. That person is real. That person is real. I keep saying that in my mind. I clutch my chest, so damn hurt in there and now I start to figure out why. It’s because that person is crying, for me and that person is real.
Oh my god. It’s so fucking hurt. My heart and my head. I hate it.
“Get out of my mind you fucking bitch!”
I lay there lifelessly, tired and broken. I don’t know why but I feel like I’ve been stabbed in my chest thousands times. I don’t know when I start crying. I don’t know when I screamed like a crazy there. I don’t know how many hours I’ve been laying there, hoping that person will be back. no! I don’t want that person back! I want that person to get out of my mind!
I don’t know why, but telling my self to get rid of that person feels so wrong. I feel like a fucking jerk. I don’t want that person to get hurt. I don’t want to hear that person cried again, I want to hear that person’s laugh. I sound really pathetic now.
“I’m sorry…. I’m sorry…”
******
3rd Person’s POV
Donghae wake up in his room the next morning. He has no idea how come he is there, sleeping in his room. The last think he remembers is he was laying tiredly on the floor at his campus building. He sit up and look around. It really is his room. He walks to the door and open it. He hears voices down stair. He starts to walk down stair and was surprised seeing there are many people there. He recognizes some, but not the two guys sitting on the couch. The one is talking to his mom and the other with the red hair just look at his knees. He wonders who they are.
“Donghae! Dude… you are awake man!”
Yunho then hugs Donghae, followed by his others band mate. His mom then follow suit after peeling the other guys from his son.
“Donghae…. My son. What was happening to you? Were you that tired until you sleep on the floor? Or are you sick? Tell Umma which part is sick? Your brother is coming home really quickly now just hang on, okay son?”
“Umma… stop it. I’m fine.” Donghae assures her with a smile.
“Oh…. Thanks god you are okay. Thanks to you two too. Thanks for helping my son”
Donghae’s mom said while turning to look at the strangers. Donghae looks at them too. The strangers do the same and Donghae leave frozen.
“Say thanks to them Hae..”
Donghae says his thanks but can’t take his eyes off the red haired guy. He doesn’t know why but there’s something familiar about that guy. The red haired guy looks at him for a moment then looks down again. Donghae’s heart beat like crazy and he wonders why.
Donghae suddenly remembers that person. Donghae unconsciously starts to walk to the red haired guy. The others just stay still and watch. Donghae then kneel in front of him. The other guy just looks down and starts to sit uncomfortably
Donghae then lift hat guy chin so they are now face to face. Donghae can see the guy face is red like tomato but he has pretty eyes, perfect jaw line and beautiful face. Suddenly Donghae have this urge to say sorry to him
“I’m sorry..” Donghae said
“What?”
“I said I’m sorry..” Donghae repeated
“W-what for? We-we just met” the guy said
“That’s why I’m sorry. I’m sorry for taking this long to find you…”
The red haired guy just blushed madly and starts to look down once again but Donghae stops him.
“Look at me, don’t look down. It’s been a long time I’m looking for you and now I want to see your face. Please look at me.”
The red head man stay still, looks into Donghae’s brown orbs, enjoying it.
“What should I call you?”
“I-I am Hyukjae”
“Well then Hyukkie….”
Hyukjae starts to cry again. He can’t believe that Donghae’s in front of him now and Donghae calls him by his nick name.
“Hyukkie, from the first time I see you, I always have this urge to hug you and stop you from crying, now can I?”
Donghae asks and then hugs Hyukjae. He hugs Hyukjae tightly, afraid he would disappear and afraid this is just a dream. Hyukjae does the same. He hugs Donghae as if there’s no other day. The others just watch them with an amused face. They don’t understand what is happening but Sungmin only smile in joy for his beloved friend to find his long lost heart.
“It’s okay now Hyukkie, it’s going to be fine from now on. This is the fate that you want right?”
*****
PS:
Hi! ms.w is here…here you go. The sequel. But I still think there’s a part three you know. Hahahaha…
I’m going crazy now. I’m sorry for the crap things and bad languages.
I have decided to give this story a happy ending because I really hope I will have my happy ending story too in real life.
And…and…and… today is my special day! That’s why I want to update really bad. I wish my self a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
And Happy 2011…. Wish for the new side of world to see and wish you all the best