So today is Christmas
Today I slept in. I haven't done so in about a month or so. I feel somewhat rested, even though my grandma's damn dog woke me up a couple different times with his excessive whining. So I thought today was supposed to be filled with happiness, and family time. My mom is off with some guy I guess because that's better than being alone and she failed to notice that I am. Perhaps it's just more important to her to spend Christmas time with the opposite sex. I don't know. My grandma was up, but now is readily asleep. Before she went to sleep I asked to use the car to go to my friends and she said no. She didn't want the gas to be used up or "wasted" because she don't get paid again for another 17 days. I guess she didn't realize that I have money and I could have filled it back up when I got done using it like I always do. So, I'm alone at Christmas time, with no family, no friends, no presents, not even one. I haven't felt like this since that one year at Christmas when my so called friends went to be with their families and I was homeless that year kinda. I had my car that didn't run, and a trailer that wasn't mine. And at that time, the trailer had the heater go out so I was warming the stove that day so I could stay warm next to the cot I slept in and put in the kitchen. It was snowing bad that year. Anyway, so here I am, trying hard not to cry and feel sorry for myself, and put on a happy face, but yet... I just can't muster up enough energy anymore when people ask me what I did or got for christmas. What am I supposed to even say anymore? Hell I didn't even get a card except from my lil sister. Sad huh?