Shattered Dreams: If Only
Title: Shattered Dreams: If Only
Fandom: Whose Line UK
Pairings: Nothing explicit yet, but BYOS.
Rating: PG-13 - again, nothing explicit, but there's some pretty dark material
Summary: When something terrible happens, it's only natural to wonder 'if only'.
Disclaimer: This fic is in no way intended to portray a true representation of the people involved. As far as I know, this never happened.
Note: Warning - major angst alert! It isn't explicitly stated yet, but there are hints at attempted suicide, so be warned.
This came to me while I was staring at the fanfic100 prompt table and got drawn in by 'If'.
Cross-posted to britline, whoselineslash and wl_fanfiction. Submitted to fanfic100 for prompt 082 - If.
Shattered Dreams: If Only
Greg sat stunned, telephone receiver dangling as the cord was trapped between his fingers. Through the speaker, a faint voice could still be heard, but Greg wasn't listening. He doubted he could have made out the words, even if he had been holding the telephone properly - he was just too winded by what he had heard.
Oh my poor, silly boy, what have you done?
Minutes later, he was walking out of the hotel and heading for his car. It probably wasn't the wisest decision, driving after what he had just heard, but he wasn't about to allow for anyone else's tardiness in getting to where he wanted to be.
Where he needed to be.
He pulled out of the car park, mind still racing with a thousand possibilities, a thousand questions.
A thousand if onlys.
If only he had been brave enough to be honest. Would it have made a difference? Hard to say, but now he might never know. He didn't deserve to know; it served him right to believe that his selfishness had contributed to this horrific turn of events.
If only he'd asked the right questions. He'd wanted to, many times, but had allowed his nerve to fail him each and every time. He shouldn't have done that - he should have listened to the warning signs and made his friend get help. That was what friends did, after all...
If only he hadn't followed the others. His gut had told him he was doing the wrong thing when he'd reluctantly admitted that maybe Ryan had been right all along. Why hadn't he listened? Why had he been so ready to turn his back on someone when he'd known it would be the worst thing he could do?
If only he hadn't given up.
Greg's grip tightened on the steering wheel, knuckles whitening as he sped to the hospital. He sincerely hoped he wouldn't get caught - he wasn't in the habit of breaking the speed limit, but this was an exceptional circumstance.
If only he'd accepted the offer.
Greg fought to keep composure as he remembered winding down from the last shoot.
"Next time you're here for filming, you should stay with me. Save paying those ridiculous single supplement charges hotels have to discriminate against the lone traveller."
He had rejected the offer, more out of shock than from a lack of wanting to. That was a mistake. If he had said yes, if he had agreed, if he had recognised the veiled call for help, then maybe he wouldn't be rushing to be beside a hospital bed now.
He got to the hospital without incident - somewhat miraculously, he felt, given the turmoil in his head - and raced to reception. He almost ran into Stephen Frost, who had obviously been waiting for him.
Fearfully, Greg asked, "How is he?"
"It's okay, he's going to be okay." Steve grabbed Greg's arm, leading him through the hospital without having to be asked. "He's a bit woozy, but just about with us. We found him just in time."
Greg didn't reply, silently letting Steve lead him to where he had to be.
As they reached the ward, Steve nodded in greeting to the man standing sentry over the door to a solitary room. "How's he doing?"
Colin shrugged. "Okay, as far as I know. I've stayed out here, mostly. I just can't get over the sight of him lying there..."
He trailed off, and Greg felt his chest tighten. Steve had phoned him, but it must have been Colin who'd actually made the discovery. Greg wasn't sure if he should be thankful that he had been spared the sight, or jealous that he hadn't been the one to play the role of saviour.
Colin stood up. "Hey, I'm gonna...I'm gonna go update Ryan. Will you...?"
"We'll keep you updated," Steve promised.
Greg had already stopped listening, and had made his way into the doorway of the room in which his friend lay. His gaze locked onto the sight of the man lying motionless, unseeing eyes fixed on some spot on the ceiling, arms bandaged and dotted with various wires and feeds for whatever they were using to stabilise him.
Slowly, Greg walked further into the room. His footsteps seemed not to have registered - that, or his friend was choosing to pretend that they hadn't.
"Tony?"
Finally, a reaction - Tony pulled his gaze from the ceiling and looked at Greg, cowering slightly at the anticipated anger. Weakly, he began, "I..."
"Don't, Tony. You don't have to apologise." Greg made his way to the bed, tentatively reaching for Tony's hand. "If anything, I'm the one who should be apologising to you. If I'd paid more attention..."
Tony shook his head, something that took some effort. "Shut up, Greg. Don't 'if' me."
Greg bit his lip. "I can't help it, Tony. I can't help but feel that it's my fault."
"It's not." Tony laced his fingers between Greg's. "If only I'd spoken up sooner."
"Tony, you can't..." Greg trailed off as he registered the glint in Tony's eye. "Alright, point taken. What's done is done. I'll just have to do all I can to help you now."
Tony smiled. "I'd like that."
Greg frowned as he felt Tony's grip on his hand loosen. "I'd better go. I'll be back as much as they'll let me, but you need to rest."
Tony nodded, shifting slightly to get more comfortable. "I suppose...I wish you'd said yes."
Greg sighed. "So do I, Tony. So do I."
Fandom: Whose Line UK
Pairings: Nothing explicit yet, but BYOS.
Rating: PG-13 - again, nothing explicit, but there's some pretty dark material
Summary: When something terrible happens, it's only natural to wonder 'if only'.
Disclaimer: This fic is in no way intended to portray a true representation of the people involved. As far as I know, this never happened.
Note: Warning - major angst alert! It isn't explicitly stated yet, but there are hints at attempted suicide, so be warned.
This came to me while I was staring at the fanfic100 prompt table and got drawn in by 'If'.
Cross-posted to britline, whoselineslash and wl_fanfiction. Submitted to fanfic100 for prompt 082 - If.
Shattered Dreams: If Only
Greg sat stunned, telephone receiver dangling as the cord was trapped between his fingers. Through the speaker, a faint voice could still be heard, but Greg wasn't listening. He doubted he could have made out the words, even if he had been holding the telephone properly - he was just too winded by what he had heard.
Oh my poor, silly boy, what have you done?
Minutes later, he was walking out of the hotel and heading for his car. It probably wasn't the wisest decision, driving after what he had just heard, but he wasn't about to allow for anyone else's tardiness in getting to where he wanted to be.
Where he needed to be.
He pulled out of the car park, mind still racing with a thousand possibilities, a thousand questions.
A thousand if onlys.
If only he had been brave enough to be honest. Would it have made a difference? Hard to say, but now he might never know. He didn't deserve to know; it served him right to believe that his selfishness had contributed to this horrific turn of events.
If only he'd asked the right questions. He'd wanted to, many times, but had allowed his nerve to fail him each and every time. He shouldn't have done that - he should have listened to the warning signs and made his friend get help. That was what friends did, after all...
If only he hadn't followed the others. His gut had told him he was doing the wrong thing when he'd reluctantly admitted that maybe Ryan had been right all along. Why hadn't he listened? Why had he been so ready to turn his back on someone when he'd known it would be the worst thing he could do?
If only he hadn't given up.
Greg's grip tightened on the steering wheel, knuckles whitening as he sped to the hospital. He sincerely hoped he wouldn't get caught - he wasn't in the habit of breaking the speed limit, but this was an exceptional circumstance.
If only he'd accepted the offer.
Greg fought to keep composure as he remembered winding down from the last shoot.
"Next time you're here for filming, you should stay with me. Save paying those ridiculous single supplement charges hotels have to discriminate against the lone traveller."
He had rejected the offer, more out of shock than from a lack of wanting to. That was a mistake. If he had said yes, if he had agreed, if he had recognised the veiled call for help, then maybe he wouldn't be rushing to be beside a hospital bed now.
He got to the hospital without incident - somewhat miraculously, he felt, given the turmoil in his head - and raced to reception. He almost ran into Stephen Frost, who had obviously been waiting for him.
Fearfully, Greg asked, "How is he?"
"It's okay, he's going to be okay." Steve grabbed Greg's arm, leading him through the hospital without having to be asked. "He's a bit woozy, but just about with us. We found him just in time."
Greg didn't reply, silently letting Steve lead him to where he had to be.
As they reached the ward, Steve nodded in greeting to the man standing sentry over the door to a solitary room. "How's he doing?"
Colin shrugged. "Okay, as far as I know. I've stayed out here, mostly. I just can't get over the sight of him lying there..."
He trailed off, and Greg felt his chest tighten. Steve had phoned him, but it must have been Colin who'd actually made the discovery. Greg wasn't sure if he should be thankful that he had been spared the sight, or jealous that he hadn't been the one to play the role of saviour.
Colin stood up. "Hey, I'm gonna...I'm gonna go update Ryan. Will you...?"
"We'll keep you updated," Steve promised.
Greg had already stopped listening, and had made his way into the doorway of the room in which his friend lay. His gaze locked onto the sight of the man lying motionless, unseeing eyes fixed on some spot on the ceiling, arms bandaged and dotted with various wires and feeds for whatever they were using to stabilise him.
Slowly, Greg walked further into the room. His footsteps seemed not to have registered - that, or his friend was choosing to pretend that they hadn't.
"Tony?"
Finally, a reaction - Tony pulled his gaze from the ceiling and looked at Greg, cowering slightly at the anticipated anger. Weakly, he began, "I..."
"Don't, Tony. You don't have to apologise." Greg made his way to the bed, tentatively reaching for Tony's hand. "If anything, I'm the one who should be apologising to you. If I'd paid more attention..."
Tony shook his head, something that took some effort. "Shut up, Greg. Don't 'if' me."
Greg bit his lip. "I can't help it, Tony. I can't help but feel that it's my fault."
"It's not." Tony laced his fingers between Greg's. "If only I'd spoken up sooner."
"Tony, you can't..." Greg trailed off as he registered the glint in Tony's eye. "Alright, point taken. What's done is done. I'll just have to do all I can to help you now."
Tony smiled. "I'd like that."
Greg frowned as he felt Tony's grip on his hand loosen. "I'd better go. I'll be back as much as they'll let me, but you need to rest."
Tony nodded, shifting slightly to get more comfortable. "I suppose...I wish you'd said yes."
Greg sighed. "So do I, Tony. So do I."