That Look of Peace...
Summary: Nominated at Loves Last Glimpse Awards Well, the long and short of it? Fanwanks of missing scenes of season five, though I will eventually go off canon, because I can't help myself... In fact, this might be a bit of a non canon fanwank- but it's all in one's perspective, I suppose. Let me know what you think, and reviews are good for the soul.
Pairing: Spuffy
"Semi Apology from the Messenger"
(Immediately after "Triangle")
“Well, see how well things worked out?” Buffy looked fondly at Anya and Xander. “And look at you guys. So good and alive and together,” she continued, tearing up again. “So together, and ... good, and ... alive...” she sniffled, grabbing a tissue. “Oh, god...” she cried, dabbing at her eyes. “I'm… I'm just so happy for you...” She burst into tears, burying her face in the tissue as the others continued to stare in silence.
“Oh, gosh, I’m sorry you-”
“Dear lord. What happened here? Are you all alright? Buffy?” A shocked and worried Giles asked from the doorway. After the scattered explanations and accusations went around, Giles removed his glasses from his face, pinching the bridge of his nose with a “bloody hell” muttered from his lips.
“It’s okay, Giles. We’ll clean it all up,” Willow said with a wider than wide smile, Anya standing beside her with a broom looking overly cheerful as well. Giles nodded absently before turning to Buffy.
“Buffy, we need to talk. I’m going to go home,” Have a drink he thought silently. “And then go over to your place. I’ll see you there?”
“Sure Giles. I’ll meet you in about an hour?” He nodded again at the still teary eyed girl, turned and left. Buffy quietly surveyed the mess before her, and sighed heavily. Then her eyes brightened considerably when an idea popped into her head.
“You guys. I should really go. Pull myself together before Giles lays the news on me. You understand.”
“But Buffy, you clearly would be able to move…” Anya looked surveyed the shop with a critical eye. “Large, heavy objects such as the broken, solid wooden shelves of the broken display cases better than any of us.”
“Anya-”
“I would,” she cut Buffy off. “But I’ve got a bad back.” Based on everyone’s look of incredulity, she amended, “Well, I could obtain one through the unnecessary strain.”
“I’m not saying that I’m not going to help, just… not right this second. Important convo with Giles, remember?”
“And really, it is kinda you and Will’s-” Xander stopped on the threatening glare he was receiving from his red headed best friend and his girlfriend. “I mean, the G Man’s insured; no worries Buffy.” He gave the Slayer a nervous smile.
“Then it’s settled. Leave the heavy parts for me tomorrow. Night guys.” Buffy headed out of the shop without a backwards glance. She only made it a block and a half down the street before seeing Spike ahead.
“Slayer!” he called out to her. Buffy rolled her eyes, but continued towards him until they were face to face.
“What?” Buffy queried, regarding him cautiously.
“Glad I was able to catch up with you. What with all the commotion and the-”
“Spike, spill. I have to get home in a timely fashion.”
“Okay.” He gestured for her to proceed forward. Buffy shrugged, but started walking again with him tagging along.
“Multitasking. Very progressive of us.”
“Seems more like stalling to me. You still haven’t told me what you want.”
“I don’t want anything. I just… well, I suppose I do want something.”
“Knew it.”
“No, it’s not what you think-I want you to know that the other night… I had no intention of showing you that to hurt you.” Buffy scoffed at that. “No, really. I just thought that you should know.” Buffy stopped walking and turned to him.
“You think I really wanted to know of Riley’s not so kosher late night activities?”
“Would you have preferred to stay in the dark? Living a lie?” Buffy turned her head, trying not to pout but failing horribly as she contemplated Spike’s questions. Spike thought she looked quite adorable, particularly with the little ponytails.
“I know soldier boy left y-”
“How did you know that Riley left?” she cut in, turning her gaze sharply on him. “What? Is my love life all over the demon world now? The hot topic and front cover of the Demon World Inquirer or something?” she asked, sounding just this side of hysterical.
“No,” he replied quietly, not looking at her.
“Then how did you…” She squinted at him, partial realization dawning on her.
“Did Riley… he came to see you. What did he say?”
“Pfft. Just typical white bread posturing. Nothing of terrible importance. He was pretty pissed though that I brought you there. ‘S not like it was my fault though. Didn’t force him to go there.”
“Um, okay. But what did he say?” Buffy reiterated, growing impatient. Spike looked thoughtful, pondering how he could word exactly Captain Cardboard’s final words to him.
“Well, first he threatened to kill me. Very convincing, actually,” he said more to himself then to her. Buffy’s brow furrowed in concern.
“Convincing how? I mean if he punched you, it wouldn’t have caused much damage.” Spike pulled out his lighter and cigarettes, lit one up and looked at Buffy, considering her for a moment. He let the cigarette dangle from his mouth as he reached to the top of his pants, pulling his T-shirt out.
“What are you do-”
“Didn’t hit me, Slayer. Staked me.” Buffy stood there, mouth agape in shock as she saw the puncture wound marring the smooth planes of his chest.
“The sadistic bastard was carrying a plastic wood-grain stake around. Didn’t kill me, but still hurt like hell. Strange, cause when you did it, it kinda tickled, but that was probably cause of the-”
“Are you okay? He didn’t…” As her hand reached out slowly to the wound, of its own volition he was sure, Spike lowered his shirt before it made contact, feeling self conscious suddenly.
“M’fine. Suppose that was his way of shootin’ the messenger, ya know? We shared a drink after that. He accused me of having some sort of ulterior motive, but really, what would I have to gain?” His voice was laced with false incredulity, hoping she wouldn’t draw the right conclusions about that. “Anyway, I just felt that… as the Slayer, and more importantly, a Slayer that I know and respect…” Realizing by the “what the hell?” expression on her face that he was saying things that he shouldn’t be, he added, “And loathe-” He mentally exhaled as she relaxed at that last bit. “That you should be aware of things that, well, concern you, yea?” Buffy sighed, and started walking again, Spike following.
“You’re right. That was… sensitive information that I should have been aware of. Even if I most certainly didn’t like said information. God, I just can’t believe how totally… screwed up he was. I know he was insecure before, but…” Spike bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from commenting that he was probably always insecure.
“Even so, I didn’t want him to just… leave me.”
“I get that, pet. But you know, it probably wasn’t so much leaving you as it was that the boy was a spineless, gutless fish.”
“What?” She stopped walking again, and Spike sighed. So much for multitasking and arriving in a timely fashion.
“Oh, come now, Summers. Do I have to spell it out for you? He was a coward. You guys were having problems, and he couldn’t bear to face ‘em. So he ran, just like when he was sick and pumped up on Initiative juice or when he was in denial when he discovered his mentor was a homicidal bitch who tried to kill his girl. Can’t face up to his problems, that one. Stupid git.” Buffy pouted some more, neither agreeing with or denying Spike’s assessment.
“Maybe. I still miss him, though.”
“I’m sure that in the back of La Femme Boutique, they have all sorts of gizmos that can take care of your sense of… loss.”
The sincerity in his voice through her for a second before she realized he was referring to the sex store in the mall.
“Oh, gross Spike!” Spike chuckled lightly, grinning at her. They started to walk again.
“Maybe even better. A lil’ artificial lovin’ is better than no lovin’ at all. Or at least easier than your-”
“Okay. This conversation is officially over. I accept your apology Spike, and may we never discuss this again. Goodnight,” she said, all the while not looking him as she continued to walk, hoping he wouldn’t follow. He didn’t. He knew there would be other opportunities to make her uncomfortable or piss her off.
“Night Slayer,” he called out to her. “Sweet dreams,” he muttered under his breath, heading in the opposite direction.
~*~*~*~*~
A Core of Mush
(After "Checkpoint")
A Core of Mush
Spike, Joyce and Dawn turned simultaneously from the telly as his crypt door opened.
“That didn’t take too long,” Spike said, looking at her.
“How’d it go, sweetie?” Buffy sighed as she looked at her mom, closing the door.
“A little nerve wracking…” She paused, still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that Glory was a god. “But, I managed to get the Council to agree to my terms, and Giles reinstated as my Watcher.”
“Retroactively?” Spike asked.
“Of course.”
“Good goin’, Slayer.” Buffy walked towards the sarcophagus, motioning Spike to follow her as her mom and Dawn began to pack up their things.
“Thanks,” she said, handing him a couple of bills.
“Keep your money. It was my pleasure to play host to the Summers ladies. My door’s always open. Of course, if it wasn’t, they always have you to kick it down, don’t they?” he said with an arch of his eyebrow. Buffy looked sheepish at that. She avoided looking at him for a second as she put the money back in her pocket. Spike took pity on her.
“If you feel really bad about it, next time, just bring me some alcohol, or some of those spicy buffalo wings that I like so much, or something equally delicious,” he said, sotto voce, slightly leaning in.
“Spike you’re such a-”
“Pig. Yeah, I know. Not like you expected anything more of me, right?” he said with a casual shrug. Buffy’s upper lip quirked slightly upward, but she suppressed the smile that was threatening to show itself. She turned, and headed back towards her family.
“Ready guys?”
“Yeah. Spike and mom were boring me to tears, and he doesn’t have any cable.” Dawn hefted her bag on her shoulder, standing by the door impatiently. “And, I didn’t realize how much of a softy he was,” she said with an impish grin, looking at him.
“Oi! Big bad over-”
“Whatever. All you did was talk to mom about soaps, the art gallery and how much you were craving her hot cocoa. Way lame,” she sing songed.
“Okay, Bit. My hospitality has officially run out. Time for you lot to bugger off.” He stalked over to the door, holding it open.
“Aww… Dawn’s ruined Spike’s manly pride. Come on, mom. Let’s let him wallow.” Buffy walked to the doorway, all the while grinning at the only slightly irritated vamp.
“Ignore the girls, Spike. Thank you for having us. Come over any time for that cocoa,” Joyce said with a smile before stepping over the threshold into the night, followed by Dawn and then Buffy. Buffy stopped once she was one foot out of the crypt and turned to face him.
“Spike, um… I just wanted, wanted to say-”
“ ‘Thank you?’” he supplied for her. She nodded gratefully.
“Yes. Thank you.” With that, she turned and left. Spike stood by the door, watching as the Summers’ women made their way through the cemetery, closing his door softly once they were out of sight.
“Big, soft gooey center,” Spike mumbled with disdain. “How’s that for you? Whipped without getting any.” Spike headed to his counter to get a drink, thinking of what to get the Slayer for her birthday.
*~*~*~*~*
Covert Sincerity
(During the "You'll find her" scene in "Bloodties")
“Dawn! Dawn!” Buffy yelled out into the night.
“Yeah, that should do it,” Spike said with subtle sarcasm.
“Shut up.”
“The nibblet scampered off to get away from you. She hears you bellowing, she’s gonna pack it in the opposite direction.” They both stop walking as Spike looks around. “Can’t say I blame her.”
“You were right,” Buffy said quietly, staring at the ground. Surprise was written all over Spike’s face at the admission. “This is my fault. I should’ve told her.” Spike sighed at that, feeling guilty for god knows why. He just knew that he had to comfort her somehow.
“Look, she probably would have skipped off anyway, even if she never found out. She’s not just a blob of energy, she’s also a fourteen year old hormone bomb.” He paused again, exhaling another sigh. “Which one’s screwing her up more right now, spin the bloody wheel. You’ll find her, just in the nick of time. That’s what you hero types do,” he finished with a shrug. Buffy gave him a hopeful look, wanting to believe him.
“You’ll find her,” he reiterated firmly.
“And then what?” she asked quietly. Spike was silent for a moment, mulling over his answer.
“And then… and then you say-” He placed his hands on her shoulders, gripping them with a firm gentleness. “Hey now- chin up, yea? Everything will be okay. No matter what you are, I still love you. I’ll always love you. Nothing’s changed.” His voice gradually lowered and became thick with emotion as he went on. He slowly embraced her in a hug, and she folded into his arms.
“We’ll make it through this,” he continued softly. “I’ll be right here, right beside you.” He secretly inhaled her delicate scent of lilacs and vanilla. He collected himself, and pulled away before she noticed something.
“See? Easy.” He cringed inwardly at the slight tremble in his voice. Buffy tilted her head to the side, looking down at the ground, though he was fairly certain she wasn’t seeing it.
“Wow. You should be a writer or something,” she said reflectively. Spike bit his tongue at that.
“Just be honest, love. Tell it from your ticker, and so forth.”
“Yeah. I suppose I could. It’s true after all.” She continued to walk, still contemplating what she would say to placate her little sister.
“Bloody well is true,” he mumbled to himself before catching back up to her. He walked on her right side, being her silent pillar of strength.