On Your Own Pt. 1 Observations
"You're weak for a slayer...this is your pathetic rite of passage, isn't it?"
So, Buffy is to have an abortion.
The reason why Nikki failed, in a matter of speaking, as a mother, is because she couldn't let slaying go. Crowley gave her an out; gave her a chance. And instead of doing the responsible thing--raising the son she decided to keep, she brought him back into the thick of a war. The mission was alright without her, but she wasn't strong enough (? I guess) to let the mission go.
Then we have Buffy, who claims she can do what Nikki couldn't, and acknowledges her own support system. But she goes on to say that it's not the slaying--it's her and her crappy job and teetering on being ass out with no place to live. Those seemed to have been her two reasons for not going through with the pregnancy--not because she doesn't want to have it or because she doesn't know who the father is, or because she can't give up slaying or that she won't love it enough...But because she doesn't think she can take care of a baby financially. And she says all of this to the guy who once told her, "I can get you money."
It's not going to take Spike long to process all of this and figure it out, and present her with some kind of feasible plan, so that she has all of the options laid out before she does what she thinks she should do. But I'm giving him a break, since he was literally bowled over by the news.
There was some sort of symbolism at the end that I couldn't put my finger on...Something about water, conduits, the big ball that could be a representation of childhood, Spike's reflection which was claimed to be a mistake on the artist's part, and of course the last box where Buffy and Spike reach for each other...and there's no contact. Or the cartoon heart on Buffy's shirt above her own. Looks black, but that could be for the purposes of lighting in the scene.
Spike says that he's Buffy's dark place, or rather, who she turns to when she needs "dark."
I don't think that's quite accurate.
The thing of it is, they're alone in the dark together. Spike goes to her when she's in the dark. That's not the same as being dark for her. I'd argue to say that he's actually the light in the dark. Particularly so considering his living flame interpretation... He makes her forget; he makes things easier to bear; he catches her when she falls; he sheds light...in the dark. And now, once again, Buffy's all alone, out in the dark. Until Spike comes, who she reaches out to--literally and metaphorically--for help. No, I wouldn't say he represents dark at all.
And now, some quotes from Joss..
"I don't tend to write straight dramas where real life just impinges. But because I don't, when I do it is very interesting to slap people in the face with just an absolute of life."
"Given the specifics of Buffy's life at this point in the season - facing a new kind of vampire threat, barely able to keep a job - it seemed like it would be dishonest for Buffy to not at least entertain the question of whether she should keep or end the pregnancy."
"I don’t think Buffy should have a baby. I don’t think Buffy can take care of a baby. I agree with Buffy. It’s a very difficult decision for her, but she made a decision that so many people make..."
"I know everything about it, but will tell you nothing. Except, like I said, it’s going to end up being a storyline that is rooted in the Buffyverse. I’m not going to turn comic book into something other than what it is. The whole thing isn’t going to be, well, normal. There’s not going to be a lot of normal going on, but hopefully there’s a certain amount of relatable. We’re going to pursue what this storyline means, but not in a way people are going to expect."
"Her behavior at that party has already bothered some fans, and to learn she got pregnant there, and doesn’t know by whom, will bother some fans even more, especially those who want Buffy to be, well, more responsible. I think that first of all that they should wait until they have all the facts and they’ll learn stuff that they didn’t know before. They should find out what happened before they completely judge her."
So to me...after reading all of this and the transitions in the comic, I'd argue Spike as the father. I think that's the way that they're going, and I hope whatever road that leads to that is respectable. Well, won't hold my breath, but I still hope it will be.
And now, the visuals...or back to the visuals...and some key points--
*The cover--Spike shadows Buffy as he fights back to back with her, mirroring her and giving her support.
*Buffy lists Spike as a potential, but doesn't even consider Xander, in spite of the fact she was alone with him. So either she remembers more, or to her there's just no way in hell Xander could even be a candidate on the table, but Spike and Andrew could.
*Spike wearing a bullet proof vest. I know it was meant to be a joke, but I can't help but feel that it was some kind of foreshadowing and/or symbolism behind it.
*Nikki's apartment is Spartan, but she has a gigantic poster of Marvin Gaye--a man who was shot by his father on April Fool's Day.
*Apparently, there's another comic which lists a father for Robin, but for this comic, they've pretty much had her state that she's had a lot of partners, some without names, and she has no idea who the father could possibly be. I don't like the implications of that, and it just gets worse from there.
*Next page, Robin mentions that Nikki took him out on patrol. Um, wat?? Why would she purposely do that, and what drugs was she on? Purposely putting your child in danger? For what?
*Robin points out that even though his mom left him at an early age in his life, he'd rather have had that than be aborted. He's here and happy to be, and thinks Buffy should consider giving this pregnancy a chance. He more or less tells Buffy his mom couldn't let slaying go...so if Buffy does decide to keep this baby, hopefully she won't make the same idiotic mistakes. Like taking the kid to patrol and telling him or her to keep quiet and hide while mommy slays...
*Crowley gets that the baby should trump the mission, and was willing to go to any extent to help Nikki raise her kid properly and sans slaying. Go Crowley!
*"Lesson one--vampires are already dead." Indeed Spike. And the rules, they are a chagin'.
*"Are you two still..." "Buffy only comes to me when she needs dark." What an interesting non answer that was. Dowling, I think, was hinting at them still being "intimates." As opposed to Spike saying, "No, not for years," it's now "Only when she needs dark." That leads me to think that there was sex having with those two at the party.
*Robin tells Buffy that Nikki couldn't give him up for adoption. I take it Buffy thinks she'd feel the same way, which would make taking the baby to term to give it up isn't a feasible option for her. Assuming. Then he makes it clear that Nikki's problem wasn't walking away from him, but walking away from work. She wouldn't do it.
*Dowling thinks Spike is afraid that he will hurt Buffy. I think he has that wrong and may want to throw that in reverse, but whatever the case, it gave Spike the courage to say how he feels (once again), and of course he doesn't get the chance.
*Buffy considered running away with Spike to raise her kid. This just solidifies that she trusts Spike and counts on him, and if Buffy herself considered him her "something dark," there's no way she'd take him along for the ride of raising her kid. So that was nice to know. On that same token, though, the candidate pool of folks to run away with was very, very shallow.
Okay, that's all I got. Dare I say I'm looking forward to the next issue? At the very least, curious to see if my speculations will be right.