(no subject)
i dont know why i get so horribly horribly miserable. out. of. nowhere.
i had a brilliant (ha) session with the dr. today. i hate going.
i bought myself some crayons because i have been having a strong desire to color, unfortunately for my leg, not so strong as the desire to wound myself...but strong nonetheless.
initial intentions would be to distract and deter my self-inflicted violence by the mind-numbing act...yet somehow i manage to end up in tears.
i want to run over to my roomate and say "i colored this for yoU!!!" and label the sea creatures with our names.
my roomate who barely hangs out with me
and my boyfriend
are my family.
i want to hang it on the fridge. and i am crying.
its been awhile since ive been so pathetic. and i hate myself again...
the dr used the words "mommy" and "daddy" way more than enough today.
pathetic.
and oh my god it burns so bad when i want to cut. i am dizzy and that is all i can see.
fuck. fuck fuck. he is going to be so sad. and he stuck the last dora bandaid on me yesterday.
what a disappointment.
i had a brilliant (ha) session with the dr. today. i hate going.
i bought myself some crayons because i have been having a strong desire to color, unfortunately for my leg, not so strong as the desire to wound myself...but strong nonetheless.
initial intentions would be to distract and deter my self-inflicted violence by the mind-numbing act...yet somehow i manage to end up in tears.
i want to run over to my roomate and say "i colored this for yoU!!!" and label the sea creatures with our names.
my roomate who barely hangs out with me
and my boyfriend
are my family.
i want to hang it on the fridge. and i am crying.
its been awhile since ive been so pathetic. and i hate myself again...
the dr used the words "mommy" and "daddy" way more than enough today.
pathetic.
and oh my god it burns so bad when i want to cut. i am dizzy and that is all i can see.
fuck. fuck fuck. he is going to be so sad. and he stuck the last dora bandaid on me yesterday.
what a disappointment.