(no subject)
What a week it's been. Crashing here and there, back home now but wishing I was anywhere else. I wish I wasn't so fucking broke.
I want to move out of here so badly. I have been thinking of ways to do it, but none of them are very realistic. I mean, with the little that I make, living on my own with a child just isn't an option.
I am crazy about this guy who is a good friend of mine and that's all we're going to be. Why am I always stuck being the friend?
I've been thinking about Stephen a lot lately; about how he thought I was the most beautiful girl in the world. I know that our relationship got really sick toward the end, but I loved him. He loved me. We were just all mixed up. I am starting to doubt that anyone will ever feel that way about me again.
I want to feel beautiful again. I've been going about it all wrong too. I've been dieting my ass off (literally), and I've lost a lot of weight. I feel better, but it's not making me happy. I know that it isn't going to.
I am lost. I'm in this transition period with my new sponsor, and I'm not on any step work right now. It really sucks. I need to be doing something. This past week when Maya and I were staying with James, I missed most every meeting. I have been isolated and lonely.
Fuck, man! I just need to get a good night's sleep and hopefully I'll get up tomorrow. That's all I can do right now.
I want to move out of here so badly. I have been thinking of ways to do it, but none of them are very realistic. I mean, with the little that I make, living on my own with a child just isn't an option.
I am crazy about this guy who is a good friend of mine and that's all we're going to be. Why am I always stuck being the friend?
I've been thinking about Stephen a lot lately; about how he thought I was the most beautiful girl in the world. I know that our relationship got really sick toward the end, but I loved him. He loved me. We were just all mixed up. I am starting to doubt that anyone will ever feel that way about me again.
I want to feel beautiful again. I've been going about it all wrong too. I've been dieting my ass off (literally), and I've lost a lot of weight. I feel better, but it's not making me happy. I know that it isn't going to.
I am lost. I'm in this transition period with my new sponsor, and I'm not on any step work right now. It really sucks. I need to be doing something. This past week when Maya and I were staying with James, I missed most every meeting. I have been isolated and lonely.
Fuck, man! I just need to get a good night's sleep and hopefully I'll get up tomorrow. That's all I can do right now.