LONGING
LONGING
A Yunjae drabble (or not)
Dedicated for:moon1084 (thanks for the picture you sent!)
Missing
That’s the first word that crosses my mind when I open my eyes today.
I coughed.
It feels as if there is an invisible lump in my throat.
I coughed a few more times.
It is still there.
***
Miss you, miss you, misses you so much...
I attend the radio broadcast; attend the photo session and a live event today.
Did I really just attend those?
Seems like a blur to me.
Smiling is like an automatic response.
Answering question is like reading a scripted narration.
Breathing is like a routine.
Really, where are you when I need you so?
I coughed again.
Can’t breathe.
***
“Hyung, you should rest early today. You look so tired,” Changmin said with concern evident in his face.
“Really?” I asked, smiling automatically, “I think you look more tired. Go ahead to your room,” I said, both hands still on the computer’s keyboard.
“I will sleep after reading the news and review about.. us,” I added, after I saw his face.
When he finally left me alone, I clicked the minimized internet explorer tab again. I clicked the “play” button for the nth time, I had lost count but I don’t care.
I close my eyes when I hear his voice, so I can imagine better for him, to be there.
There.
“Jaejoong, “I whispered, slow and unsure.
I miss you so much.
Those words remain unsaid.
The lump is still there.
***
END
AN: A little bit of something to get me back on track. Shit, I want to write so badly, I want to continue my story, but no words come out and I just sit there, listening to songs and watch at the computer’s screen blankly for... three damn hours!! That’s why I decided to write this, so I didn’t waste my time for nothing.... D: