Your Secret Admirer
Your Secret Admirer (sister story to My Public Enemy)
Long One shot, seperated into parts
Romance, Drama, AU
Beta Reader: faithful5
Summary:
The other side of the story, from Jung Yunho's POV.
Yunho always wondering as to why an older boy named Kim Jaejoong, who is his brother's best friend, occupied his mind whether he is around or not. After seven years of seperation, what did Yunho feel towards Kim Jaejoong?
PART I
Your Secret Admirer
AN: Sorry if it’s identical on several (read: many) parts. If you encountered those parts, just think of it as same part with different feelings. Enjoy! C:
Do you think it’s normal if you remember every single detail of your encounter with a person?
If you said “Yes, it is normal”. Then thank you, please proceed to the next question.
Do you think it’s normal if the person mentioned in the first question is actually a man? And now, that you ask, I’m actually a man too.
If you still said “Yes”, then proceed to the next question too, please.
Do you still think it is normal, if I remember that the very first time I ever saw him was actually on 5 August 1999?
I remember that his hair was blonde and tousled. He used the same uniform as my brother’s, however rather than a smooth shirt and pants, he wore torn pants, with this super big silver chain connected to his pocket. He slung his black bag carelessly and while he greeted and smiled to my parents, he already stole my attention. When he finally looked at me and say, “Hi, you must be Ji Hoon’s little brother, Yunho! I’m Jaejoong,”
My mind went blank, and I said, “Your hair looks like a mast of spider web made from sand, do you feel comfortable with that?”
So, answer me please, is it normal to remember every single detail? If you give another yes, thank you so much for your support.
***
He visits again. It’s four times in a row this week. The glass from my hand almost slipped when I heard his voice talking with my father.
I turned around when he entered the kitchen with my brother.
“Home already, Yun? What about your soccer practice?” Hyung asked me.
“We finished early,”
“Hi, kiddo!” Jaejoong smiled at me.
“Hi, bad boy,” I slapped my self mentally for saying yet another thing before thinking.
“What do you want to drink?” hyung asked when he saw Jaejoong’s shock expression, and he rummaged the fridge.
“Just tequila please,” Jaejoong answered and blinked his big eyes innocently when my brother gave him a pointed look, “This is not a bar,”
“We only have vodka,” hyung continued, and they laughed together.
I scowled watching the whole scene of Hyung ruffled his blonde hair. Unknown emotion was boiling inside of me.
“Tell umma, we’re studying in our room, ok?”
I nodded a little while still looking at Jaejoong silently.
“Where are they?” Umma entered the kitchen few minutes later.
“They’re studying in hyung’s room,”
“Tell them to eat first, ok Yunnie?”
I nodded and headed for Hyung’s room. However, before I pushed it open like I used to, I heard them talking.
“He’s still in the elementary school, Jae,” It was my hyung’s voice, Are they talking about me?, I decided to eavesdrop and watch from the creak that slightly open door provided.
“He’s not used to seeing someone of my age and definitely not used to seeing something...”
I watched Hyung checking out Jaejoong, somehow I didn’t like it: how Jaejoong received that kind of stare, even from my own hyung. Jaejoong finally sat beside my hyung, he grinned. I swore, I had never seen a person looked so good, when they were smiling, grinning, blinking stupidly, smirking or even pouting just lik-
“Yunho!!”
I jumped in surprise at that, I decided to open the door to avoid my brother’s wrath, he can do nasty punishment when he’s angry, just because he’s four years older than me, and a lot stronger too.
“What are you doing?” hyung asked, I frowned at the closeness of Ji Hoon hyung and Jaejoong.
Admiring Jaejoong, I answered honestly inside. But, what kind of answer was that, I scowled at my own stupidity.
“Umma asked if you guys want to eat first,”
I chose to answer question A with answer B, rather than spilling the surprising activity I had been doing from behind the door.
***
Although I’m only 12, I know something is somehow not right, when you have this constant urge to look at another older boy. Something feels wrong, however since I’m not a thinker, I choose to put that aside. Until one day...
“Hey, what are you guys doing?” I asked my friend as they crowded in the corner of the classroom.
“Hey, Yunho,” my friend Kangin, waved at me, signalling for me to come and join them.
“What’s up?” I asked after I joined.
“We’re discussing about a few things,” Lee Han stated, he smiled, “We’re asking, who your crush is,”
“Huh?” I looked at them with confusion, “For what?”
“Nothing, just to be fair to each other. Don’t you want to know?”
I shook my head.
“Don’t you have one?” Siwon asked me, I shook my head again.
“Think first,” Kangin said, “Someone you like, a girl you found attractive in our class?”
After a few minutes of thinking, I shook my head again. The three sighed after that, “Ok, let’s just continue and ignore this idiot,”
“Hey,” I punched Kangin’s shoulder.
“Start with me,” Lee said, “I think, I like Lee Yo Won,”
“Yo Won? The class representative?” Kangin asked in disbelief.
“Yeah, her. Why?”
“But she’s so bossy! Uh I don’t like her at all,”
“Hey, we’re not judging each other ok,” Siwon reminded him, “So, what about you?” he asked Kangin.
“I like Taeyeon,” Kangin announced confidently.
“Really? But I think she likes Siwonnie,” Lee Han stated a matter of fact, partly to irritate Kangin.
“Why you think so?” Kangin raised his voice.
“Well, it’s easy. She looked at Siwon non-stop in class. She had this dreamy look whenever she looked at him,”
I widened my eyes at Lee Han’s explanation. Say what?
“I don’t believe you,” Kangin sulked all of the sudden.
“It’s okay, Kangin,” Siwon smiled, “Even if it’s true, I don’t like her at all,”
“You don’t?” Kangin beamed.
“Yeah, I don’t, I like someone else,”
“Hey, wa-wait!”
“What Ho?” they asked in unison, clearly annoyed I interrupted their precious gossiping time.
“How-how do you know that you actually like someone?” I stuttered.
“It’s easy! I feel happy, whenever I’m around Yo won,”
“Or when you’re ordered around by her,” Kangin added Lee Han’s statement, grinning, “I can’t stop staring at Taeyeon, you know. Like whenever we’re at the same room, I can’t help but looking at her,”
“You also will have this urge to tease and touch her too. You’ll be really happy receiving something from her and treasure it,” Siwon added, “Well, at least I did,” he shrugged.
While Kangin forced Siwon to spill the girl’s name, I turned into a deaf ear to their conversation, as I thought and somehow found few similarities from their explanation to my current situation.
Can’t stop staring at someone?
Kim Jaejoong’s face flashed before my eyes.
Is that mean I-?
“Who is your crush?” Kangin asked once again.
“I don’t want to tell,” Siwon said stubbornly.
“But we told you ours,” Lee Han said.
“Fine, I won’t mention the name, but I think I like her ever since the day she gave me a handkerchief when my nose bleeded after a soccer ball hit my face,”
“Oh...” Lee Han and Kangin nodded. Siwon skipped to the door, when suddenly Kangin yelled, “Hey, wasn’t it Heechul who helped you at that time?”
“Did I even mention a name?” Siwon said, before he smiled mysteriously and ran away.
“Aish, he ran before we know the truth,” Lee Han sighed.
“And what’s wrong with Heechul?” I asked.
“Ho? Are you serious?” Kangin laughed. “Heechul is a boy!”
“And?” I asked again, dumbfounded.
“It’s wrong and disgusting!”
***
I kept thinking about my friend’s testimony and comments on my way home. However, even after my head ached, I still can’t figure it out.
What is this feeling I had for Jaejoong?
It must be different right?
Why did they say it’s wrong if it’s a boy?
Just like what I had known, I’m not a good thinker on things like this, even after I reached my house I couldn’t figure out an answer. I opened the door silently, and then I saw a pair of familiar colorful sneakers.
“Jaejoong’s coming again?” I asked my umma, who’s nodding as a reply, however she didn’t tear her eyes from the television screen. “Doesn’t he have a house?” I asked cynically, covering my bubbly feelings.
“Yah! I heard that brat!”
I gulped as I instantly recognized the voice. “Yah, Yunho, be nicer to Jaejoong,” Ji Hoon advised.
“I’m actually here to give you this, you know,” Jaejoong approached me and handed a red truck to me.
“So, do you like it?” he asked after watching me for a while, since I didn’t show any emotion.
“This is just something cheap from the market,” I said after I observed it. From the corner of my eyes, I can see Jaejoong’s shocked expression (again, his eyes are really pretty when they’re widened like that, hehe) and my brother’s left eye starting to twitch.
“Yah! Yunho!” my brother yelled. I touched the spot he had slapped and pouted at him. Before he had the chance to lecture me, I ran to my room and after locking the door, I looked at red truck once again and a wide smile decorating my face.
***
It’s already dark outside when Jaejoong said he would head home. I eyed him from the stairs, as he thanked my mother for the dinner.
I looked at the dark sky from the window, the trees were being blown harshly by the strong wind and I furrowed my eyebrows instantly.
He’s really going home?
I watched Jaejoong laughing and talking with Ha Na noona and Ji Hoon hyung.
How dense are my brother and sister?
I scooted closer to my father, “Appa, the weather is really bad outside, and it’s 9 PM already,”
“Really?” My father looked outside and instantly suggested for Jaejoong to have a sleepover since tomorrow is Sunday anyway.
***
After one sleepover at the weekend, it multiplied in no time. Jaejoong had a sleepover quite frequently now. My parents even considered him as one of their children by now. It’s not that I’m complaining. It actually made me see him frequently and made me see more sides of him.
Regardless of his appearance and what people thought of him, Jaejoong is actually a really warm, kind hearted and cute persona.
I sat calmly at the dining table, although it’s only ten minutes away before my practice began. I’m waiting for it to happen again today.
“I’m still sleepy,” Jaejoong said when he entered the dining room, still in his pajamas.
He yawned and ruffled his own hair, making his blonde hair even messier.
Cute…
I continued to look at him while munching my bread. Do that cute I-just-got-out-of-bed expression and pout again please!
However, instead of answering my prayer, Jaejoong looked at me pointedly.
“Why are you glaring at me this early in the morning Yunho?”
Who’s glaring? I didn’t glare at you, pabo!
I clicked my tongue and ran out of there in a hurry, muttering “I’ll be late for the soccer practice,” however, I didn’t expect Jaejoong to trail me.
“You have soccer practice on Sunday?”
I was sitting to put on the shoes, when I heard his voice. The black sport shoes slipped from my hand, I looked at him, who’s standing behind me, watching me curiously.
“Yes, Jaejoong. Didn’t I just say that earlier?” I said, looking at his big wonderful eyes while wearing my shoes.
“Why are you always calling me Jaejoong?”
“Because I want to,”
“Call me Hyung, or Jae-hyung!”
“No way,” You’re not my hyung! I don’t want you to be one either.
“Not cute at all,” he crossed his arms and huffed in response.
I ran out of the room in a hurry while Jaejoong looked at the heap of the shoes.
“He wants me to call him Hyung?” I grumbled as I ran. “Not in a million years!”
“Calling him hyung will only remind me that he’s much older than me and -”
“Oy!!! YUNHO!!”
I stopped once I heard his voice.
“You wore the wrong shoe!” I looked down at my shoes and blushed instantly.
How stupid of me!
Jaejoong laughed at my reaction. “Here, change it!” he handed me my black soccer shoe. I changed in silence, I couldn’t even look at his face, and somehow I could still hear him chuckling. So embarrassing!
“See, I already act like a hyung to you, now you should call me Hyung!”
I shoved the white shoe in his hand, “Thank you, Jae-joong!” I emphasized the Jaejoong part purposely.
***
After unlocking the door, I ran inside my house, “Umma! Umma!”
The living room was empty; I ran to the kitchen and saw a note put on the fridge,
Going out, shopping with Ha Na.
-Umma
“Great…” I muttered, while my stomach rumbling.
“Hyung!” I called. Running out of the kitchen and trying to find my hyung and asked him to treat me jajangmyun.
“Ji Hoon hyung!” I yelled again, as I pushed open his room (if he’s really in here, he will slap my head again). “Hyu-” I stopped immediately when I saw a sleeping figure, who is definitely not my hyung.
It’s Jaejoong.
He’s sleeping in my hyung’s room, with no trace of Hyung around.
He’s sleeping alone.
Alone.
That single word echoed in my head again and again.
I slowly looked around to make sure no one’s home. After that, out of curiosity (and definitely something more) I tiptoed towards him.
He lied on his back and by the way his chest rising and falling softly, he looked like being deep in slumber.
After I’m close enough, I watched his sleeping face closely. My heart is thumping like crazy by now.
OMO, he’s so cute!
Although his big eyes are closed now, he still looks so pretty. He’s wearing the school uniform; however some of the shirt’s first buttons are undone, showing his white creamy skin. My hands itched; I really wanted to touch it. However, I refrained myself from doing so; he might wake up any second. I scooted closer and unconsciously took a deep breath as I was too nervous.
I can smell him. His scent
His blonde bang covered his face and his pink lips are slightly opened looking somewhat so edible. I closed my mouth and gulped down at my stupid thought.
How can I think of something like that! I screamed inside my head, however as much as I ordered my eyes not to stare. I continued to stare at his lips.
“Nnggh,” he mumbled and moved a little so he’s lying on his side now.
I bited my lips, contradicting.
Just a little bit.
No, I shouldn’t.
Argh, a little bit, won’t hurt.
I stretched my hand; my thumb is a few inches from Jaejoong’s lips. I swear I can hear the sound of my heart bumping. It’s really loud.
Can Jaejoong hear it with me being this close?
After my fingertips touched Jaejoong’s lips and I moved it a little to feel the softness, somehow I felt electricity running down my body. I gasped and pulled my hand back that instant.
I watched him again, I want something more.
Slowly, I brought my face closer to him. I can feel his breath near me.
Right now, I think my heart may explode.
I pecked his lips quickly and I pulled away. I can feel heat, not just in my face but in all of my body.
“Hmmm,” he mumbled again and stirred up from his sleep.
He’s awake! He realized. I’m doom!
I ran out from the room. In the hurry I didn’t see my hyung’s shirt laying oh-so-innocently on the floor, I stepped on it and fall forwards, face first.
Or more like nose first.
I covered my nose. It’s really hurt.
“Yunho?” Jaejoong asked with this hoarse voice of him. “What’s wrong?” he approached me.
I scooted back a little from his touch. “What’s wrong with your nose?” he asked and he screamed instantly, panicked after seeing the red fluid flowing between my fingers. Truthfully, I didn’t know what caused the nosebleed.
***
I feel guilty.
Unlike other people out there, I do feel guilty after doing something like that to Jaejoong, even though it’s still a secret. He even helped me after that.
I feel disgusted at one of my friends who likes to use and blow (and even licks) his crushes’ flutes secretly when he thought nobody is around. I pity him.
But now, I pity myself. I had degraded that low.
I had gawk on Jaejoong. Smelling him. Touching him. And to top it off, kissed him on the lips. All of these, while he’s still asleep.
What’s even worse, deep inside me, I know, I kind of want to do that again.
PART II
AN: Drop a comment in the last part please! :D I personally like this part.