more dreams
So in the past I've had a couple of dreams where there was this huge threatening guy in my way and I was trying so hard to fight him but he was like this brick wall and nothing I did affected him at all. I don't remember being hurt--he was exactly like a wall, just there in my way and I'm doing everything I can to tear him down, but nothing is happening. Now that I type it out I can see different connections ("trying to tear down the wall of patriarchy" har har) That always happens, it's not until I say my dream out loud or write it down that I see all these different meanings and feelings coming through.
But anyway in the dream itself I had this overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. I was taking self defense at the time, and I guess my fear came out in my dreams that "what if I used these moves and nothing happens, they don't affect him." So these dreams freaked me out a little. But I have a feeling once I break the board I will feel a lot better. And I feel A LOT better today because just last night I had this great dream that I was in a club or something and a typical sleazy guy came up and was trying to talk to me, looking me up and down, and I told him to leave once and he didn't leave. Then I GROWLED and told him to LEAVE NOW...and he did! He got all freaked out and walked away. It was so empowering and wonderful.
But anyway in the dream itself I had this overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. I was taking self defense at the time, and I guess my fear came out in my dreams that "what if I used these moves and nothing happens, they don't affect him." So these dreams freaked me out a little. But I have a feeling once I break the board I will feel a lot better. And I feel A LOT better today because just last night I had this great dream that I was in a club or something and a typical sleazy guy came up and was trying to talk to me, looking me up and down, and I told him to leave once and he didn't leave. Then I GROWLED and told him to LEAVE NOW...and he did! He got all freaked out and walked away. It was so empowering and wonderful.