(no subject)
So. I would like to tell you all about clipping sting ray barbs.
We have to clip the barbs off the tails of the sting rays in our touch tank, lest they accidentally stab someone while they're being petted. We have two different kinds of stingrays, southern sting rays and cow nose rays.
Cow nose rays live up to their name sake...sort of. They are very mild, cow-like animals, that enjoy swimming near the surface of the water, making them easy to herd and catch. They have relatively narrow barbs that clip off quite easily and they take a while to grow back.
Southern stingrays are quite different. They're flat, bottom dwellers who can shoot from one side of the tank to the other in a blink of an eye (or perhaps two blinks, depending on how spooked they are). They're also frustratingly smart. There is one of area of the tank that's out of reach of our nets, unless we decide to suit up and jump in the tank, which we don't like to do.
The other day, though, one of the southern's barbs needed to get clipped. While most sting rays usually only have one barb on their tail, this guy had two. And southern sting ray barbs are thick and hard, making it aggravating to clip them off.
The first step you wanna take to clip the barb off a stingray is to first catch him. This involves one person basically chasing the sting ray into a net with another net. But as previously mentioned, southern stingrays are flat, fast, and benthic. Imagine trying to catch a sentient hockey puck with a rocket strapped to it's back. And it can also splash you in the face with water.
It was my job to chase the sting ray into the net my coworker, Adele, was holding. So I did...and he escaped. So I did it again...and he escaped. And again...and again...for forty five minutes.
We were chasing him all over the place. We're slipping on the water he's splashed all over the floor, almost face planting into the tank two or three times. Finally, in a moment of excellent timing and even more excellent luck, I caught him (which was a first for me, and can I just say, I WAS SO PROUD OF MYSELF).
Now, step 2: keeping the animal still. That involves one of us holding him down while the other person clips off the barb. You don't want to just hold him down on the floor though. We put him on a nice soft foam cushion and then throw a towel over his eyes (people have told me this helps keep the animal calm -- I don't buy that for a second).
After some confusion, I ended up being the one holding him still while Adele tried to clip his barbs. I have my arms across his body to keep him still, while Adele was holding his tail in one hand and the clippers in another.
A sting ray will try to wiggle out from underneath you and that's where it can get really challenging. They do it by...this is going to sound silly, but they basically kind of...vibrate really hard. They flap their wings as fast as they can and you just kind of sit there on top of them, bouncing up and down. Add to that: their skin is covered in a very slippery mucus. So basically, you're trying to hold down a hockey puck, with a mind of it's own, that's covered in lubricant, and could very well be stronger than you.
There I was, arms across the sting ray's back and I suddenly feel him wiggle his fins.
"OK, sweetie, it's OK," I begin, somewhat urgently. He seems to find no comfort in this. He starts wiggling harder.
"No, no, sweetheart it's OK, just wait, just wait --!"
This seems to upset him more and now he's vibrating like an overworked CEO's cell phone.
"Wait, sweetheart, wait wait wait --!" I'm exclaiming.
He's sliding off the pillow! If he ends up on the floor we'll never get him back in the tank! He's sliding off he's sliding off --!
"WaitwaitwaitwaitWAITWAITWAITWAIT --!"
At the last possible moment, Adele's grabs him, hooking her fingers underneath his body and yanks him back onto the center of the pillow.
"Hold him still please," she says, calmly, but slightly out of breath.
At this point, I don't care anymore, and I put nearly all my weight on his body.
Step 3: the removal of the barb. You need really heavy duty clippers to do this and someone to hold the tail, ideally. But since it's just me and Adele, she had to do both.
She manages to wedge the clipper up against the base of one of the barbs and she squeezes.
"Shit," she mutters, and squeezes again.
"Shit!" she says louder.
"Adele --?" I reply urgently. I can feel the stingray starting to vibrate again.
"These clippers aren't sharp enough!"
"Shit!" I exclaim.
She lets go of the tail and grabs the clippers with both hands. "OK, shut your eyes!"
I squeeze my eyelids closed tight. Sting ray barbs are known to go flying off like a rogue toenail and we forgot to put on protective eye wear.
There's a loud SNAP! and Adele succeeds. The sound seems to stun the stingray and he stops moving. Adele gets the clippers on the next barb ("Shut your eyes!") and SNAP!
Step 4: "Get him back in the tank!"
I whisk him up in the net and drop him back into the water, and for one heart stopping moment, he just...floats there at the surface. Like's he's dead.
I give out a little horrified squeak. I killed him. I killed our sting ray. I crushed him under my weight I killed him oh my god I am in so much trouble I killed him I'M A STING RAY KILLER.
The stingray suddenly jerks, and he takes off like a bat out of hell into the deep end, where he promptly buries himself in the sand.
Adele and I breathe a sigh of relief, and start to gather up our gear. We spend a few minutes crawling around on the floor, looking for the barbs (one of them flew clear over our heads and actually landed in the tank), and then mopped up the water.
This is how I started my day. Don't most people start their day at their desk with a cup of coffee? While I sometimes wish I had an office job, if I didn't have this degree of excitement first thing in the morning, I know I would never be a truly happy person.