Put me in coach!
Oh if only this were actually about athleticism.
A while back I got a bad review at work. Then I tried to project-manage my way to fixing it. Which prompted my boss to request that I get an executive/leadership coach.
Apparently this is a thing.
While most executive coaches are consigned to coach their leaders for at least 6 months - my boss struck a deal that opened up the rare opportunity for me but only for a 3 month stint. It's like self improvement on speed or crack not sure which.
We are currently 1/6th through with our engagement which will last approx. 12 weeks. So far here is what's happened and/or what is on the docket.
Week 1 - I shared my timeline. A 32 point snapshot of my life with good stuff above the line and bad stuff below. I comprised mine and then had a blast formatting it in excel. I'm actually thrilled with my newly found ability to create a beautiful timeline in excel.
Week 2 - discuss the themes. What emerged as recurrent in the timeline. Turns out, I have a stronger than I realized fight of flight mechanism that is seemingly programmed to flight when I'm fed up, overwhelmed, or otherwise unhappy in my career. I don't regret any of my career jumps - but I appreciate them more for the fact that I got out of where I was than for where I landed. Except this last one. And now I'm at a non-profit where I would like to be and finding it hard to stay. Why is it hard to stay: same reason I've found every past job hard to stay at: I get good results, if not great results, and yet I don't get promoted or viewed as a leader. So...how can I get folks to see that I'm not just a hard worker but a quality leader? That is the nut that I think needs to be cracked.
Week 3 - review all the past 'personality' tests I've every taken and their results. So basically part 2 of the 'getting to know you' work that the coach wants from me.
Weeks 3 to 5 - launch and complete a 360 degree review. Solicit feed back internal to my workplace and external to it. From past colleagues, friends & family. And then digest the data. There's this tool the crunches it down, keeps stuff anonymous to a point (I see all the free form comments - so folks could blow their cover in that way).
Weeks 3 to 5 - while launching and waiting for the results there is additional work. I have no idea what it will be but I'm pretty sure it will be about helping me figure out how to hire the best person for my open position AND work on that theme noted in week 2.
Weeks 6 to 12 - I have no idea. At the end of week 5 or 6 I should have an action plan. A succinct list of ways I want to improve and strengths I want to highlight. Which is really what I wanted out of this whole 12 week thing to begin with. So what I imagine will happen is either something really boring or really revolutionary in the second half of this journey.
================================ behind the wall ==========================================
Worth noting here because, well because this is my damn LJ.
1) I'm excited about the 360. It's an unusual chance to get a look at what the world sees. I do the survey too...so it's a chance to review how I view myself too. I'm looking forward to it.
2) I'm scared about the 360. What the fuck am I doing opening myself up to the inner thoughts that people have about me. If it's kind, I'm going to cry and probably feel unworthy. If it's not kind, I'm going to cry and feel at first that it is unjust and then that it is spot on and then cry some more until I feel that I've landed on something I can do about it and the truth is there likely isn't something I can do about at least half of the 'constructive' bits that folks send my way.
3) What if in the midsts of this journey I realize that I'm in the wrong business?
4) What if the right business is only 1/2 as lucrative and twice as stressful?
5) I'm pretty sure that this whole process....all 12 weeks of it...is going to dig into my brain with little worms that will plant thoughts that could potentially spiral out of control like in the movie Inception.
6) One other thing I'd like to get out of this is more confidence about the me I am. I'm 35 years old. At this stage in the game I should not second guess the way I do. I hope that somewhere in this process I can grow my ego a little bit more.
A while back I got a bad review at work. Then I tried to project-manage my way to fixing it. Which prompted my boss to request that I get an executive/leadership coach.
Apparently this is a thing.
While most executive coaches are consigned to coach their leaders for at least 6 months - my boss struck a deal that opened up the rare opportunity for me but only for a 3 month stint. It's like self improvement on speed or crack not sure which.
We are currently 1/6th through with our engagement which will last approx. 12 weeks. So far here is what's happened and/or what is on the docket.
Week 1 - I shared my timeline. A 32 point snapshot of my life with good stuff above the line and bad stuff below. I comprised mine and then had a blast formatting it in excel. I'm actually thrilled with my newly found ability to create a beautiful timeline in excel.
Week 2 - discuss the themes. What emerged as recurrent in the timeline. Turns out, I have a stronger than I realized fight of flight mechanism that is seemingly programmed to flight when I'm fed up, overwhelmed, or otherwise unhappy in my career. I don't regret any of my career jumps - but I appreciate them more for the fact that I got out of where I was than for where I landed. Except this last one. And now I'm at a non-profit where I would like to be and finding it hard to stay. Why is it hard to stay: same reason I've found every past job hard to stay at: I get good results, if not great results, and yet I don't get promoted or viewed as a leader. So...how can I get folks to see that I'm not just a hard worker but a quality leader? That is the nut that I think needs to be cracked.
Week 3 - review all the past 'personality' tests I've every taken and their results. So basically part 2 of the 'getting to know you' work that the coach wants from me.
Weeks 3 to 5 - launch and complete a 360 degree review. Solicit feed back internal to my workplace and external to it. From past colleagues, friends & family. And then digest the data. There's this tool the crunches it down, keeps stuff anonymous to a point (I see all the free form comments - so folks could blow their cover in that way).
Weeks 3 to 5 - while launching and waiting for the results there is additional work. I have no idea what it will be but I'm pretty sure it will be about helping me figure out how to hire the best person for my open position AND work on that theme noted in week 2.
Weeks 6 to 12 - I have no idea. At the end of week 5 or 6 I should have an action plan. A succinct list of ways I want to improve and strengths I want to highlight. Which is really what I wanted out of this whole 12 week thing to begin with. So what I imagine will happen is either something really boring or really revolutionary in the second half of this journey.
================================ behind the wall ==========================================
Worth noting here because, well because this is my damn LJ.
1) I'm excited about the 360. It's an unusual chance to get a look at what the world sees. I do the survey too...so it's a chance to review how I view myself too. I'm looking forward to it.
2) I'm scared about the 360. What the fuck am I doing opening myself up to the inner thoughts that people have about me. If it's kind, I'm going to cry and probably feel unworthy. If it's not kind, I'm going to cry and feel at first that it is unjust and then that it is spot on and then cry some more until I feel that I've landed on something I can do about it and the truth is there likely isn't something I can do about at least half of the 'constructive' bits that folks send my way.
3) What if in the midsts of this journey I realize that I'm in the wrong business?
4) What if the right business is only 1/2 as lucrative and twice as stressful?
5) I'm pretty sure that this whole process....all 12 weeks of it...is going to dig into my brain with little worms that will plant thoughts that could potentially spiral out of control like in the movie Inception.
6) One other thing I'd like to get out of this is more confidence about the me I am. I'm 35 years old. At this stage in the game I should not second guess the way I do. I hope that somewhere in this process I can grow my ego a little bit more.