Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards
Subject: Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards
Body: I LOVE ..9
1. I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...
(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.
3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.
4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.
5. Someday I hope to marry...
(Inside card) - Someone other than you.
6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!
7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your
promise.
8. We've been friends for a very long time...
(Inside card) - What do you say we stop?
9. I'm so miserable without you...
(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.
10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside card) - Did you ever figure out who the father was?
11. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.
12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your
birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Alabama, West
Virginia, Mississippi, and Arkansas)
14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help
but wonder...
(Inside card) - What was I thinking?
15. You're such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
AND this one is my own creation. ~du
16. Being your best friend is great in so many ways...
(inside card) Like, when your mutilated corpse is found I'll be the last one the authorities question.
And I am going to use one of my mother's wishes.~ fatdeaf1
17.Have a Happy 35th Birthday
(inside card) When you were born, abortions were illegal.
Love, Mommy Dearest.
Body: I LOVE ..9
1. I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...
(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.
3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.
4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.
5. Someday I hope to marry...
(Inside card) - Someone other than you.
6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!
7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your
promise.
8. We've been friends for a very long time...
(Inside card) - What do you say we stop?
9. I'm so miserable without you...
(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.
10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside card) - Did you ever figure out who the father was?
11. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.
12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your
birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Alabama, West
Virginia, Mississippi, and Arkansas)
14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help
but wonder...
(Inside card) - What was I thinking?
15. You're such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
AND this one is my own creation. ~du
16. Being your best friend is great in so many ways...
(inside card) Like, when your mutilated corpse is found I'll be the last one the authorities question.
And I am going to use one of my mother's wishes.~ fatdeaf1
17.Have a Happy 35th Birthday
(inside card) When you were born, abortions were illegal.
Love, Mommy Dearest.