This is Jenny updating and NO, I am NOT talking about someone specifically or a particular journal.
Hey all. This is Jenny and I am going to update because I feel like it. I am currently at my cousin's work helping her with tax stuff. Of course, another late night here. I will be here probably until 12am'ish and then I will be back tomorrow to go over W2's with her accountant. BLAH. I HATE some things in life. I really do.
I have been reading all of my friend's journals and then some. I do it while I am on break at work and I know I never update, I only go on Kaylee's name to comment--that is changing tonight. I always liked the idea of this livejournal thing, but I never wanted one. I wonder why...
Gosh, I have been so silent, just reading people's updates during my breaks-from-work at work. Probably a lot more than I should, but regardless, I've read all these entries of people that I wanted to keep in touch with. I thought it was such a bright idea for someone to create this *lj* thing--what a great way to keep in touch and talk to people that are busy or far away... and to some extent, that's probably true, but maaannn, does it suck at one thing... bringing you back to high school. Bringing back that nostalgic feeling... remembering lockers and passing time, off-campus lunch and hallway jams... it reminds you of the F.A.K.E. girls who are so superficial that their beauty only runs skin deep... their worth depends on when their make up is just right or it's measured by how many guys hit on them (at school?!) a day. You see them, EVERY hour in the bathrooms, fixing their hair, hogging the mirror, rubbing their lips together to mesh their lipstick (that they just applied an hour ago in the same bathroom AND in class before the bell), while looking themselves up and down and pulling the shirt down, pushing the bra up, crunching the ends of their hair, dabbing on more cake, oops, I mean concealer... do you remember those girls? Ugh. I thought the bathroom would be AT LEAST 50% for actually using the toilets/sink... but damn, if those full-length body mirrors made commission... they'd be rich. I can understand checking yourself out real quick if you happen to be in there to use the bathroom... but damn, those girls abuse that.
Those are the girls that you see constantly longing for attention from the guys. You see their whole world/attitude/posture/facial expressions/gestures/body language change when a guy gets near them. They suddenly start blinking their eyelashes a hundred times more a minute, they squeeze their butt in order to make it look a little more firm, they stand up straighter, they use more slang/giggly talk/laugh, they smile more... most importantly, this is when they feel the most complete. And also most importantly, this is how you pick out the girls from the women. They only feel good about themselves or important when a guy is looking at them. In order to feel that they are desired, a guy and not just any guy, a guy 80% of their classmen obsess over, must compliment them... but not in a normal, real-world way... in a "I want to fuck you because you're so hot today" way. A way that somehow means NOT that she is truly radiant or beautiful that day... but in a way that means she looks better than her enemy or she looks better than someone else... that someone else doesn't feel as good as she does at that moment because that guy chose her to compliment out of all the other girls. It only matters when it is on some sort of scale... a scale that rates her higher or lower than any other competition. These are the girls you should feel bad for. I do.
You begin to wonder what exactly is in that brain of theirs. Air? Sometimes, when 7 girls pile all into that same mirror in the bathroom, you can't help but to truly feel that you know the true meaning of an "air-head." They might as well stand back, stand in a single-file line, with the most F.A.K.E. girl in front... arranging from most fake to least... this way, the mirror will have a break for once because it only needs to see the first girl in line... after that, you see right through them all, right down the line... every single one of them is the same. They don't care about their grades, they don't care about having to move out on their own soon, they don't care about their character or how much they've developed (or will develop) over the years, they don't care about personal strength, will and wisdom... their biggest concern are the boys, the make up, the clothes, the parties, the flirting, the showing off, the reputation of being sexual... the list goes on. How can you not feel that this encompasses the true meaning of an airhead? A bimbo? A braud?
I told myself that after high school things would change and they did. I surrounded myself with friends that I could trust, laugh with, talk to, count on, party responsibly with--friends that I could not live without. NOT ONCE since I have been out of high school has one of my girl friends (who in high school, I was SO oppossed to having) gotten into a fight with me or one another about a "he-said, she-said" ordeal. NEVER. If we have something bothering us, we bring up privately, it's discussed between those involved and it's solved. For what would the meaning of true friendship be if you couldn't be open, couldn't talk about what you're being open about and couldn't solve what you talked about being open about? Confusing, but true. I don't run to Joy and say, "Omg, Marcella is SO pissing me off today! I can't stand it anymore! God!! She's such a bitch sometimes! Remember that one time last year when she..." and the gossiping continues... BUT ONLY HERE because in my real life, that doesn't happen. I made sure I kept the friends that wouldn't turn into that or turn me into that kind of person.
Just listen to some of these girls. Listen to their stories. Listen to their ups and downs of life. Listen to the things in a conversation that they accent in order to let you know that they are the main points in the conversation. For instance, Joe Schulte was a life-long friend of mine... not exactly life-long, but since 6th grade. We still talked up until his death. His death will never get easier... it will only be gotten used to. The pain will never change. The hurt will never fade. The memory will never die. But over time, I will adjust to him not being here today. I don't forget about him, I don't care less, I don't cry any less, I don't feel any less sorrow or anger... I just adjust. In reading one of the "girls" entries (she is in high school, my old hs) and it talks about Joe being missed and the very next line skips to a party. It's like it's just an obligation to show that you once knew him... it's just a way to prove to others that you have the right to say you're hurt... it's not a sincere feeling or a thought-about remark. It's just a little phrase with almost no meaning. It's abused by you and when you toss arounds words as easily as, "He was MY friend TOO, so anyways, tomorrow night is a party..." those words become a meaningless group of letters. The sound fades, the meaning is long-gone and the heart in it... well, there is none. And if you continue to do this all the time, soon, all of your words become the same--a meaningless group of letters that just float from your mouth into one person's ear and out the other. These are the girls you REALLY should feel bad for. For their words are as meaningful as their self-worth under that make-up and size 4 pants (when they SHOULD be wearing a 6, 7 or 8). Little or none.
Then, read their entries. How many talk about school? Okay, how many talk about caring about school? Not many. "Oh, I got a D+ in this class, so my mom is pissed, but oh well... I just hope I can go to that party this weekend." Sure, I didn't think about school all the time in high school or my grades. Yes, I thought about parties too. But a journal is for your feelings, your thoughts, your concerns, your doubts... these girls just use it as 1. A way to have "live journal fights" 2. A way to brag about how many parties they had over the weekend and how many guys they "got with" or 3. A way to post 800 dolled-up pictures of themselves. You'd think that somewhere in their journals they would talk about life, about something real, something meaningful. You like taking pictures? That's fine by me. Hey, you just got a new digital camera or webcam and want to try it out, go for it. But damn, when they make a website and you can tell that they go home from school, cake on more layers of their face, get in their cutest outfits and pose in front of their camera for 100 pictures... some of which they try acting like they didn't expect it coming or like someone else took the picture from afar when you can see their outstretched arms shooting the picture themselves... it's so lame after awhile. I don't even care if you have a whole section of pictures of yourself, hey, I have a website with some pictures of just me on it too, but that's it. It's a few pictures that were taken, mostly not by me, a long time ago that I put online when I was about 12. AT LEAST throw in a category or two with your boyfriend or your favorite animals or even friends and some family. Get over yourself. Please. Stop acting like you were surprised about the picture being taken, stop dolling yourself up trying to sell yourself for something you're not, stop being superficial and self-centered. If you have a website with personal shots of yourself on it, I'm probably not talking about you. Like I said, I don't mind that... well, I'm sure you guys know who I'm talking about or at least know someone who does the same thing. If you feel that I'm talking about you, I probably am... although, I'm not directing this toward any specific journal or person. Some people who do this aren't superficial... some people like taking pictures and that BY NO MEANS makes you superficial or shallow--that is not what I'm saying. Mmhmm, I guess this is my entry and I don't have to explain it... if you are still reading and are interested, I'm sure you get my drift.
And these girls that draw themselves out to be hoes and then complain when they are called just that... it blows my mind!! Every other sentence in their journal has a new guy's name in it. Someone that touched their ass at a party. Someone that made them drink shots here or there during some weekend. Some amazingly gorgeous guy that stared them down at some school basketball game. Some guy that asked them to have sex because they looked so good that night. EVERY entry has to do with some sort of bragging about a guy. Then, they try to throw in these "subtle" clues that they had sex or they did this or that or they kissed him and she went this far with that guy... but wait, you'll notice that they hardly ever say or even want to say exactly what it was, but they will hint it and if you're a grown woman or have somewhat of a stable mentality, you pick these signs up right away and are not fooled. In example, "So, Matt sat next to me on the couch and BEGGED me to do a shot with him, so I did and mind you I was SO completely wasted by this point, but it was all good cuz I was with my girlies and we were partyin' it up like no other mofo and anyways Matt gave me this look and told me how hot I was... yeah, blah blah so that was that and I think I will leave it at that..." hmmm, now, if that's all it REALLY was left at, there wouldn't be much to "leave it at." It would end right there, but noooooo, they throw on some sort of tacky catchy phrase that makes you think more happened than they explained and for reasons which are unknown, they don't want to talk about it any further. Me? I have totally figured that out... many, many years ago. Then, someone calls them some derogatory name and they get all defensive... "you bitch, you slut, you don't know shit about me. Keep talking your mad shit you don't know how me and my girlies roll, right girls? you know how we do..." and so on. Their grammar/slang, by the way, really will get you laughing. Then you wonder, at what age do they grow up? At what age do they stop talking like that, writing like that, thinking that? The ones who do all three--talk, write and even THINK like that... oh dear lord. These are the girls you should REALLY, REALLY feel bad for. And to spoil the end of the story... some of those girls never do change. It's sad.
You know it's really gotten bad when they judge their friends by outrageous meaningless scales. "Who will compliment me the most? Who will be cute enough to bring around hot guys, but not cute enough to take attention away from me? Who will listen to me if I tell them not to like a certain girl because I don't like her? Who will run their mouth the most at a party to back me up against someone they don't even know because my mouth got my own ass into trouble it couldn't handle? Who will get so drunk with me that we can come to school Monday and have 15 HILARIOUS drunken stories for our 16-year-old friends?" It's sad. I know that if I am at a party, my friends don't let me embarasses myself or the company I work for. For starters, I'm not that stupid. Drinking to get drunk was way back then. This is now. Social drinking is fine, but to get drunk for the sole reason that you have stories to brag about on Monday--c'mon... how old are we? What kind of friend lets you "get with" a guy you don't know at some random party? What adult party/company party have you been to that adult women have shouted or cussed at each other over school, friend, boyfriend or miscellaneous rivalries? You don't. They are adults. They carry themselves in a different manner, they act different, they think different, they handle things differently... they ARE different. That, my friends, is what separates the girls from the women.
Just remember--some of those girls, never change. Open your eyes--do you see what I mean?? Read the subject line once again before you comment. Please though, feel free to share your opinions. Anyone, everyone. I'd love to hear it. :) I hope everyone had nice holidays.
Love,
Jen.
I have been reading all of my friend's journals and then some. I do it while I am on break at work and I know I never update, I only go on Kaylee's name to comment--that is changing tonight. I always liked the idea of this livejournal thing, but I never wanted one. I wonder why...
Gosh, I have been so silent, just reading people's updates during my breaks-from-work at work. Probably a lot more than I should, but regardless, I've read all these entries of people that I wanted to keep in touch with. I thought it was such a bright idea for someone to create this *lj* thing--what a great way to keep in touch and talk to people that are busy or far away... and to some extent, that's probably true, but maaannn, does it suck at one thing... bringing you back to high school. Bringing back that nostalgic feeling... remembering lockers and passing time, off-campus lunch and hallway jams... it reminds you of the F.A.K.E. girls who are so superficial that their beauty only runs skin deep... their worth depends on when their make up is just right or it's measured by how many guys hit on them (at school?!) a day. You see them, EVERY hour in the bathrooms, fixing their hair, hogging the mirror, rubbing their lips together to mesh their lipstick (that they just applied an hour ago in the same bathroom AND in class before the bell), while looking themselves up and down and pulling the shirt down, pushing the bra up, crunching the ends of their hair, dabbing on more cake, oops, I mean concealer... do you remember those girls? Ugh. I thought the bathroom would be AT LEAST 50% for actually using the toilets/sink... but damn, if those full-length body mirrors made commission... they'd be rich. I can understand checking yourself out real quick if you happen to be in there to use the bathroom... but damn, those girls abuse that.
Those are the girls that you see constantly longing for attention from the guys. You see their whole world/attitude/posture/facial expressions/gestures/body language change when a guy gets near them. They suddenly start blinking their eyelashes a hundred times more a minute, they squeeze their butt in order to make it look a little more firm, they stand up straighter, they use more slang/giggly talk/laugh, they smile more... most importantly, this is when they feel the most complete. And also most importantly, this is how you pick out the girls from the women. They only feel good about themselves or important when a guy is looking at them. In order to feel that they are desired, a guy and not just any guy, a guy 80% of their classmen obsess over, must compliment them... but not in a normal, real-world way... in a "I want to fuck you because you're so hot today" way. A way that somehow means NOT that she is truly radiant or beautiful that day... but in a way that means she looks better than her enemy or she looks better than someone else... that someone else doesn't feel as good as she does at that moment because that guy chose her to compliment out of all the other girls. It only matters when it is on some sort of scale... a scale that rates her higher or lower than any other competition. These are the girls you should feel bad for. I do.
You begin to wonder what exactly is in that brain of theirs. Air? Sometimes, when 7 girls pile all into that same mirror in the bathroom, you can't help but to truly feel that you know the true meaning of an "air-head." They might as well stand back, stand in a single-file line, with the most F.A.K.E. girl in front... arranging from most fake to least... this way, the mirror will have a break for once because it only needs to see the first girl in line... after that, you see right through them all, right down the line... every single one of them is the same. They don't care about their grades, they don't care about having to move out on their own soon, they don't care about their character or how much they've developed (or will develop) over the years, they don't care about personal strength, will and wisdom... their biggest concern are the boys, the make up, the clothes, the parties, the flirting, the showing off, the reputation of being sexual... the list goes on. How can you not feel that this encompasses the true meaning of an airhead? A bimbo? A braud?
I told myself that after high school things would change and they did. I surrounded myself with friends that I could trust, laugh with, talk to, count on, party responsibly with--friends that I could not live without. NOT ONCE since I have been out of high school has one of my girl friends (who in high school, I was SO oppossed to having) gotten into a fight with me or one another about a "he-said, she-said" ordeal. NEVER. If we have something bothering us, we bring up privately, it's discussed between those involved and it's solved. For what would the meaning of true friendship be if you couldn't be open, couldn't talk about what you're being open about and couldn't solve what you talked about being open about? Confusing, but true. I don't run to Joy and say, "Omg, Marcella is SO pissing me off today! I can't stand it anymore! God!! She's such a bitch sometimes! Remember that one time last year when she..." and the gossiping continues... BUT ONLY HERE because in my real life, that doesn't happen. I made sure I kept the friends that wouldn't turn into that or turn me into that kind of person.
Just listen to some of these girls. Listen to their stories. Listen to their ups and downs of life. Listen to the things in a conversation that they accent in order to let you know that they are the main points in the conversation. For instance, Joe Schulte was a life-long friend of mine... not exactly life-long, but since 6th grade. We still talked up until his death. His death will never get easier... it will only be gotten used to. The pain will never change. The hurt will never fade. The memory will never die. But over time, I will adjust to him not being here today. I don't forget about him, I don't care less, I don't cry any less, I don't feel any less sorrow or anger... I just adjust. In reading one of the "girls" entries (she is in high school, my old hs) and it talks about Joe being missed and the very next line skips to a party. It's like it's just an obligation to show that you once knew him... it's just a way to prove to others that you have the right to say you're hurt... it's not a sincere feeling or a thought-about remark. It's just a little phrase with almost no meaning. It's abused by you and when you toss arounds words as easily as, "He was MY friend TOO, so anyways, tomorrow night is a party..." those words become a meaningless group of letters. The sound fades, the meaning is long-gone and the heart in it... well, there is none. And if you continue to do this all the time, soon, all of your words become the same--a meaningless group of letters that just float from your mouth into one person's ear and out the other. These are the girls you REALLY should feel bad for. For their words are as meaningful as their self-worth under that make-up and size 4 pants (when they SHOULD be wearing a 6, 7 or 8). Little or none.
Then, read their entries. How many talk about school? Okay, how many talk about caring about school? Not many. "Oh, I got a D+ in this class, so my mom is pissed, but oh well... I just hope I can go to that party this weekend." Sure, I didn't think about school all the time in high school or my grades. Yes, I thought about parties too. But a journal is for your feelings, your thoughts, your concerns, your doubts... these girls just use it as 1. A way to have "live journal fights" 2. A way to brag about how many parties they had over the weekend and how many guys they "got with" or 3. A way to post 800 dolled-up pictures of themselves. You'd think that somewhere in their journals they would talk about life, about something real, something meaningful. You like taking pictures? That's fine by me. Hey, you just got a new digital camera or webcam and want to try it out, go for it. But damn, when they make a website and you can tell that they go home from school, cake on more layers of their face, get in their cutest outfits and pose in front of their camera for 100 pictures... some of which they try acting like they didn't expect it coming or like someone else took the picture from afar when you can see their outstretched arms shooting the picture themselves... it's so lame after awhile. I don't even care if you have a whole section of pictures of yourself, hey, I have a website with some pictures of just me on it too, but that's it. It's a few pictures that were taken, mostly not by me, a long time ago that I put online when I was about 12. AT LEAST throw in a category or two with your boyfriend or your favorite animals or even friends and some family. Get over yourself. Please. Stop acting like you were surprised about the picture being taken, stop dolling yourself up trying to sell yourself for something you're not, stop being superficial and self-centered. If you have a website with personal shots of yourself on it, I'm probably not talking about you. Like I said, I don't mind that... well, I'm sure you guys know who I'm talking about or at least know someone who does the same thing. If you feel that I'm talking about you, I probably am... although, I'm not directing this toward any specific journal or person. Some people who do this aren't superficial... some people like taking pictures and that BY NO MEANS makes you superficial or shallow--that is not what I'm saying. Mmhmm, I guess this is my entry and I don't have to explain it... if you are still reading and are interested, I'm sure you get my drift.
And these girls that draw themselves out to be hoes and then complain when they are called just that... it blows my mind!! Every other sentence in their journal has a new guy's name in it. Someone that touched their ass at a party. Someone that made them drink shots here or there during some weekend. Some amazingly gorgeous guy that stared them down at some school basketball game. Some guy that asked them to have sex because they looked so good that night. EVERY entry has to do with some sort of bragging about a guy. Then, they try to throw in these "subtle" clues that they had sex or they did this or that or they kissed him and she went this far with that guy... but wait, you'll notice that they hardly ever say or even want to say exactly what it was, but they will hint it and if you're a grown woman or have somewhat of a stable mentality, you pick these signs up right away and are not fooled. In example, "So, Matt sat next to me on the couch and BEGGED me to do a shot with him, so I did and mind you I was SO completely wasted by this point, but it was all good cuz I was with my girlies and we were partyin' it up like no other mofo and anyways Matt gave me this look and told me how hot I was... yeah, blah blah so that was that and I think I will leave it at that..." hmmm, now, if that's all it REALLY was left at, there wouldn't be much to "leave it at." It would end right there, but noooooo, they throw on some sort of tacky catchy phrase that makes you think more happened than they explained and for reasons which are unknown, they don't want to talk about it any further. Me? I have totally figured that out... many, many years ago. Then, someone calls them some derogatory name and they get all defensive... "you bitch, you slut, you don't know shit about me. Keep talking your mad shit you don't know how me and my girlies roll, right girls? you know how we do..." and so on. Their grammar/slang, by the way, really will get you laughing. Then you wonder, at what age do they grow up? At what age do they stop talking like that, writing like that, thinking that? The ones who do all three--talk, write and even THINK like that... oh dear lord. These are the girls you should REALLY, REALLY feel bad for. And to spoil the end of the story... some of those girls never do change. It's sad.
You know it's really gotten bad when they judge their friends by outrageous meaningless scales. "Who will compliment me the most? Who will be cute enough to bring around hot guys, but not cute enough to take attention away from me? Who will listen to me if I tell them not to like a certain girl because I don't like her? Who will run their mouth the most at a party to back me up against someone they don't even know because my mouth got my own ass into trouble it couldn't handle? Who will get so drunk with me that we can come to school Monday and have 15 HILARIOUS drunken stories for our 16-year-old friends?" It's sad. I know that if I am at a party, my friends don't let me embarasses myself or the company I work for. For starters, I'm not that stupid. Drinking to get drunk was way back then. This is now. Social drinking is fine, but to get drunk for the sole reason that you have stories to brag about on Monday--c'mon... how old are we? What kind of friend lets you "get with" a guy you don't know at some random party? What adult party/company party have you been to that adult women have shouted or cussed at each other over school, friend, boyfriend or miscellaneous rivalries? You don't. They are adults. They carry themselves in a different manner, they act different, they think different, they handle things differently... they ARE different. That, my friends, is what separates the girls from the women.
Just remember--some of those girls, never change. Open your eyes--do you see what I mean?? Read the subject line once again before you comment. Please though, feel free to share your opinions. Anyone, everyone. I'd love to hear it. :) I hope everyone had nice holidays.
Love,
Jen.