"No, You Are Not Adam Lanza’s Mother and Yes, Your Kid’s Privacy Matters"
I agree with this blogger that Liza Long could have kept her family completely pseudonymous in her essay to no loss of effect. If nothing else, the stress caused by the destruction of his privacy may actually increase his chances of someday acting out murderously.
The people derailing the discussion with accusations of "mommy-shaming" are missing this point. I like this comment from Anne Corwin (sorry, no individual comment hyperlinks):[T]his whole “oh look how BRAVE and RAW and REAL I am” thing I occasionally see popping up in parent-blogs and articles? To me even though there’s obviously a call for help embedded at the center of these things, there is also a problematic disregard for the personhood of the kids they’re so busy being RAW and REAL about. And acting like that disregard isn’t there just makes all this stuff worse and worse. And yet it’s so hard to point at it because there’s this weird perceived sacredness to what parents say about their children. Ugh all around.
Ayelet Waldman, anyone?
But I also agree with Katie:At a certain point, pride and rules and law and decorum fall away. We too have had the police to our home. The hard cold reality in the United States is a complete lack of funding for in home licensed, trained, bonded and insured 24/7 attendant care for [people with ASDs] who harm. It is exhausting work to supervise, detect, diffuse and redirect in our unlicensed and unfunded home institutions. When the violence does come out, there are very few options for long term supported treatment and training outside of the home. There are less than zero “beds” for our children, as the burden for care has been firmly placed in our hands and homes.
Domestic PTSD from caregiving is real. These discussions about the private violence in our private homes has needed to happen for quite sometime, and I was extremely happy to read this original post. I also enjoyed reading your response, with many others. This parent has chosen to tell the truth, and that is always dangerous. These are painful truths. Have you lived with someone who wanted to hurt you, themselves, animals, siblings, strangers and property? You want to pull them back and knit them into society - and it takes time. Letting the “world” know that this is happening is being dangerously responsible. Our name is known, and our private struggles spill into the public daily. We are not anonymous either. Everyone knows. We seemed to lose our rights to privacy and that whole pursuit of happiness thing when our invisible disability reveals itself through violence.
Fuck the SJ warriors who dismiss the concerns of such caretakers as "selfish" and "erasing the voices of PWD." Like
keori said here, if they were interested in doing more than scoring points online, they'd be out agitating for universal healthcare, with complete parity for psych and neuro conditions. Unlocked.
This entry was originally posted at http://ms-daisy-cutter.dreamwidth.org/1942693.html. Please comment there using either your DW account or OpenID.
The people derailing the discussion with accusations of "mommy-shaming" are missing this point. I like this comment from Anne Corwin (sorry, no individual comment hyperlinks):[T]his whole “oh look how BRAVE and RAW and REAL I am” thing I occasionally see popping up in parent-blogs and articles? To me even though there’s obviously a call for help embedded at the center of these things, there is also a problematic disregard for the personhood of the kids they’re so busy being RAW and REAL about. And acting like that disregard isn’t there just makes all this stuff worse and worse. And yet it’s so hard to point at it because there’s this weird perceived sacredness to what parents say about their children. Ugh all around.
Ayelet Waldman, anyone?
But I also agree with Katie:At a certain point, pride and rules and law and decorum fall away. We too have had the police to our home. The hard cold reality in the United States is a complete lack of funding for in home licensed, trained, bonded and insured 24/7 attendant care for [people with ASDs] who harm. It is exhausting work to supervise, detect, diffuse and redirect in our unlicensed and unfunded home institutions. When the violence does come out, there are very few options for long term supported treatment and training outside of the home. There are less than zero “beds” for our children, as the burden for care has been firmly placed in our hands and homes.
Domestic PTSD from caregiving is real. These discussions about the private violence in our private homes has needed to happen for quite sometime, and I was extremely happy to read this original post. I also enjoyed reading your response, with many others. This parent has chosen to tell the truth, and that is always dangerous. These are painful truths. Have you lived with someone who wanted to hurt you, themselves, animals, siblings, strangers and property? You want to pull them back and knit them into society - and it takes time. Letting the “world” know that this is happening is being dangerously responsible. Our name is known, and our private struggles spill into the public daily. We are not anonymous either. Everyone knows. We seemed to lose our rights to privacy and that whole pursuit of happiness thing when our invisible disability reveals itself through violence.
Fuck the SJ warriors who dismiss the concerns of such caretakers as "selfish" and "erasing the voices of PWD." Like
keori said here, if they were interested in doing more than scoring points online, they'd be out agitating for universal healthcare, with complete parity for psych and neuro conditions. Unlocked.
This entry was originally posted at http://ms-daisy-cutter.dreamwidth.org/1942693.html. Please comment there using either your DW account or OpenID.