I'm wrestaling with leaving uni and teaching and going out and finding logic. Suddenly the whole body of philosphy made sense in a way I've never seen it before. I saw it not as content or subject, but as pure argument mapping the void between the human mind and the truly alien universe we live within.
I can't focus on anything else. But its the hardest thing Iv'e ever studied. The mathamatics are easy, you can openm up the calculater in windows and type in truth functions as binary, and from the point of view of basic circitry the logic gates are dead easy, it's when you start maping semantic representation that it becomes extremly hard. But there are patterns and methods to it, and that's what's driving me crazy.
I'm thinking of leaving ACU at the end of the year to go ant study logic at another Uni. That and Latin. It's like these two polarised forces have been opened up in my mind and I need to conquer them before I can go on and do what i need to.
But skipping out on becoming a teacher, a university I'm comfortable at where I'm scoring top marks, putting off my career for a profitless enterprise with no promsie of reward or understanding. . .
If I end up being a security gaurd, a bouncer or a cleaner for the rest of my life, I'll be happy as long as I can still apply myself to learning.
I'm doing a B.A. I didn't swap over even though I got the marks. I'm only in 2nd year, but I'm 25.
The problem with the other branchs of philosphy, metaphysics, ethics, and epistermology, they all seemed immateriel compared with logic. Christ, look at aethsteics, it's merely the sembalance of reasoning within a loose logical structure, and mystacism is logic without the clarity, which is what a lot of it boils down into. Everything I've ever read comes into question. Things are no longer systems of thinking, complex statments about reality, or key holes into another world but simply affirermations, propositions and beleifs.
Everything I ever learned about philosphy was just genral knowledge till I stumbled across some of the stuff we did in Quilter's calss which really bothers me. Dosn't that bother you? That what they're teaching us is just genral knowledge. Its information mostly made up from connected ideas without anything behind them?
How do we know the connection behind diffrent ideas is actully connected at all, and not just something we've remembered, or assumed, or just placed there. What if our thoughts break down into hundreads of little impulses that make no sense whats so ever, like Schopenhauers irrational will to live.
What if our understanding isn't understanding at all, but rote learning on a higher level, and while we think we are aware we really arn't? Dosn't that bother you?
Deep down we are just history students learning concepts and systems of thinking like they learn about wars and treaties, but when it boils down we don't actully understand ourselves or our universe.
What hapens if at the base of it all, we suddenly realsie that no one ever did?
These thoughts are really bugging me. it's hard to study with these sorts of questions in my head. I've lost the basis for certainty.
I'm wrestaling with leaving uni and teaching and going out and finding logic. Suddenly the whole body of philosphy made sense in a way I've never seen it before. I saw it not as content or subject, but as pure argument mapping the void between the human mind and the truly alien universe we live within.
I can't focus on anything else. But its the hardest thing Iv'e ever studied. The mathamatics are easy, you can openm up the calculater in windows and type in truth functions as binary, and from the point of view of basic circitry the logic gates are dead easy, it's when you start maping semantic representation that it becomes extremly hard. But there are patterns and methods to it, and that's what's driving me crazy.
I'm thinking of leaving ACU at the end of the year to go ant study logic at another Uni. That and Latin. It's like these two polarised forces have been opened up in my mind and I need to conquer them before I can go on and do what i need to.
But skipping out on becoming a teacher, a university I'm comfortable at where I'm scoring top marks, putting off my career for a profitless enterprise with no promsie of reward or understanding. . .
Does that sonud really stupid?
Most people I've spoken to seem to think so.
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I'm doing a B.A. I didn't swap over even though I got the marks. I'm only in 2nd year, but I'm 25.
The problem with the other branchs of philosphy, metaphysics, ethics, and epistermology, they all seemed immateriel compared with logic. Christ, look at aethsteics, it's merely the sembalance of reasoning within a loose logical structure, and mystacism is logic without the clarity, which is what a lot of it boils down into. Everything I've ever read comes into question. Things are no longer systems of thinking, complex statments about reality, or key holes into another world but simply affirermations, propositions and beleifs.
Everything I ever learned about philosphy was just genral knowledge till I stumbled across some of the stuff we did in Quilter's calss which really bothers me. Dosn't that bother you? That what they're teaching us is just genral knowledge. Its information mostly made up from connected ideas without anything behind them?
How do we know the connection behind diffrent ideas is actully connected at all, and not just something we've remembered, or assumed, or just placed there. What if our thoughts break down into hundreads of little impulses that make no sense whats so ever, like Schopenhauers irrational will to live.
What if our understanding isn't understanding at all, but rote learning on a higher level, and while we think we are aware we really arn't? Dosn't that bother you?
Deep down we are just history students learning concepts and systems of thinking like they learn about wars and treaties, but when it boils down we don't actully understand ourselves or our universe.
What hapens if at the base of it all, we suddenly realsie that no one ever did?
These thoughts are really bugging me. it's hard to study with these sorts of questions in my head. I've lost the basis for certainty.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
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