Happy Birthday TJ.
Today would be TJ's 20th birthday. I'm not sure what else to say. If you don't know the story, he hung himeslf in November of '05. He was damn near my everything. My best friend. We grew up together and now he's gone. I had always pictured us with our own families, bein ghappy. And, yes, I even at one point imagained us getting married to eachother. And now he's gone. He's been gone for two of his birthdays now and I'm still not over it. I miss him. I still worry about him, and I wonder if I'll ever get over losing him. And I'm not mad at him anymore. I just miss him. I miss the days when we went to high school together and we'd walk home together, sit in his room and I'd listen to him play guitar while I did my homeowrk, or read a book. I just miss seeing him. Hearing him say that he was bored or tired. Or that he wanted to go hang out somewhere in the big city that we never got to. I can't believe this. It's still too hard, still too new. And he's gone. Forever. There's no coming back. And I want him to come back so bad. More than anything I want to see him again. He meant and means so much to me. I loved him. More than family. I need some help today. I don't know if I can do this - missing him and crying over him. I need him here. I need to talk to him and I need to know that he's ok.
