Merciful gods above (and below), thank you for Friday... thank you thank you thank you
I've barely slept all week. Last night, at 9:30pm, I was working on the program design for the wedding I'm coordinating next weekend (this one being a client, not one for the church, so I'm fully involved in this one). I must have dozed off. No, I was sound asleep. My email eeped at me and must have been what woke me up. Jim looked over at me, and gave me that disapproving "you're killing yourself and I don't like it but I'm not going to say a word because you'll just bite my head off" look. So... in a rare fit of rational thinking, I declared, "I'm going to bed. Fuck it all."
And I did.
I thought for sure once I got into bed (and the wild itching started, part nerves and part some mysterious skin issue that no one seems to want to diagnose - but more on that later) I'd be wide awake. Which is usually how it goes for me when I go to bed. See, if I stay up reeeeeeaaally late, I can fall into merciful sleep before the itching catches my attention and keeps me from sleeping. And I just flat refuse to take Benadryl every night. I'm not going to live my life at the mercy of a pill! But back to the story! I picked up the TV remote and cleared off about a month's worth of Whose Wedding is it Anyways from the TiVo, then put on the newest episode. You know... I don't remember a darn thing from it. Jim asked me this morning if I remember the ending. Crap, I don't even remember the beginning! Someone made fun of how he had to take the remote out of my hands and turn off the light, etc. I really don't remember it. I must have totally passed out. Which is apparently precisely what I needed. This morning, I feel a little better, but I'm cranky still. My nerves are very frayed, and I'm snapping at people. PMS? Probably. Very likely.
But, too, I'm stressing about so many things at once. Political issues aside that I am just NOT going to talk about in a LJ post, there is one thing that's nearly giving me indigestion just thinking about it. I've never had tests done where the doctor wanted me back in to talk to me about them, rather than giving me info over the phone. Never. Last week, they did a full blood panel on me, to check my nutrient levels, plus hormones (at my request). They added vitamin D to that list, since the symptoms I complained about were constant fatigue, zero libido, mood swings, shortened periods, and just feeling icky in general all the time. What they would tell me on the phone was that everything else checked out fine. Except the vitamin D. And that's what the doc wants me in to discuss.
So, I take it that I have a vitamin D deficiency. And it must be pretty serious, since he wants to discuss it. So, yesterday, I did some digging. The doctor did mention that vitamin D deficiencies can look like chronic fatigue syndome, but, what I found out yesterday was that it can also cause chronic muscle weakness, early onset of osteoporosis, and hyperparathyroidism. With hyperparathyroidism, I can be looking at fatigue (check), back pain (check), joint pain (check), fractures of long bones, decreased height (check), increased urine output (check check!!!), increased thirst (check!), loss of appetite (check), nausea (check), muscular weakness (check), muscle pain (check), depression (check? probably), personality changes (ummm... maybe?), itching of the skin (BINGO!), blurred vision (check!), and bone pain or tenderness (uhhh? how would I know?). I also read somewhere in my research that muscle cramps are part of the deficiency symptoms. Every couple nights or so, yes, I get crippling leg cramps. Good to have some reasons finally for it all. Good good good.
BUT. Gee. All of these symptoms I have complained to my Kaiser Permanente doctor about on several different occasions. I even begged for a referral to a dermatologist, though she wanted to just tell me to take Benadryl at night to sleep. And what I have called "tiny bladder syndome" -- I have had to plan my entire life around the presence of a bathroom for a year and a half now. WTF? All she had to do was add vitamin D to my usual panel of blood tests, since I am supposed to be having these things done regularly. We could have nipped this a LONG time ago. But NOOOOOOOO... we were on Kaiser Permanente, the health care system where you can't get anything diagnosed right! This makes THREE times now they have screwed me over with mis-diagnosis and incorrect treatment. If I weren't so tired and fuzzy-headed, I'd probably ponder talking to a lawyer. Like the cheap-asses would ever pay up. Right.
*sigh*
And I did.
I thought for sure once I got into bed (and the wild itching started, part nerves and part some mysterious skin issue that no one seems to want to diagnose - but more on that later) I'd be wide awake. Which is usually how it goes for me when I go to bed. See, if I stay up reeeeeeaaally late, I can fall into merciful sleep before the itching catches my attention and keeps me from sleeping. And I just flat refuse to take Benadryl every night. I'm not going to live my life at the mercy of a pill! But back to the story! I picked up the TV remote and cleared off about a month's worth of Whose Wedding is it Anyways from the TiVo, then put on the newest episode. You know... I don't remember a darn thing from it. Jim asked me this morning if I remember the ending. Crap, I don't even remember the beginning! Someone made fun of how he had to take the remote out of my hands and turn off the light, etc. I really don't remember it. I must have totally passed out. Which is apparently precisely what I needed. This morning, I feel a little better, but I'm cranky still. My nerves are very frayed, and I'm snapping at people. PMS? Probably. Very likely.
But, too, I'm stressing about so many things at once. Political issues aside that I am just NOT going to talk about in a LJ post, there is one thing that's nearly giving me indigestion just thinking about it. I've never had tests done where the doctor wanted me back in to talk to me about them, rather than giving me info over the phone. Never. Last week, they did a full blood panel on me, to check my nutrient levels, plus hormones (at my request). They added vitamin D to that list, since the symptoms I complained about were constant fatigue, zero libido, mood swings, shortened periods, and just feeling icky in general all the time. What they would tell me on the phone was that everything else checked out fine. Except the vitamin D. And that's what the doc wants me in to discuss.
So, I take it that I have a vitamin D deficiency. And it must be pretty serious, since he wants to discuss it. So, yesterday, I did some digging. The doctor did mention that vitamin D deficiencies can look like chronic fatigue syndome, but, what I found out yesterday was that it can also cause chronic muscle weakness, early onset of osteoporosis, and hyperparathyroidism. With hyperparathyroidism, I can be looking at fatigue (check), back pain (check), joint pain (check), fractures of long bones, decreased height (check), increased urine output (check check!!!), increased thirst (check!), loss of appetite (check), nausea (check), muscular weakness (check), muscle pain (check), depression (check? probably), personality changes (ummm... maybe?), itching of the skin (BINGO!), blurred vision (check!), and bone pain or tenderness (uhhh? how would I know?). I also read somewhere in my research that muscle cramps are part of the deficiency symptoms. Every couple nights or so, yes, I get crippling leg cramps. Good to have some reasons finally for it all. Good good good.
BUT. Gee. All of these symptoms I have complained to my Kaiser Permanente doctor about on several different occasions. I even begged for a referral to a dermatologist, though she wanted to just tell me to take Benadryl at night to sleep. And what I have called "tiny bladder syndome" -- I have had to plan my entire life around the presence of a bathroom for a year and a half now. WTF? All she had to do was add vitamin D to my usual panel of blood tests, since I am supposed to be having these things done regularly. We could have nipped this a LONG time ago. But NOOOOOOOO... we were on Kaiser Permanente, the health care system where you can't get anything diagnosed right! This makes THREE times now they have screwed me over with mis-diagnosis and incorrect treatment. If I weren't so tired and fuzzy-headed, I'd probably ponder talking to a lawyer. Like the cheap-asses would ever pay up. Right.
*sigh*