predictably surprised
One of my best friends and I cannot occupy the same polar space.
When I was absolutely broke, he was making good money. At that time I was in a relationship and he was very lonely.
Now he has love but no money and I have money but no love.
He is as stressed about paying bills as I used to be and I got my shit made.
He has a fantastic girl who brightens his life, but it's hard for him to be happy because he doesn't know what he is going to do with his life. He has spent hour after hour perfecting and submitting application after application with no word. Welcome to post college in the real world, my sweet friend.
For me that part is easier because I am absolutely audacious and naive enough to belive that if I keep working hard at music I will catch the collective ear.
His heart hurts becuase he feels like he is just a small fish in a pond that cannot catch a fly. I know he beleives in himself because he does not give up. Nor should he and I have told him how I belive in his absolute potential and I hope his girl has too.
My heart hurts because the only girls that belive in what I do are not the girls that touch my skin or kiss me or show me without words that I am a good man and that they appreciate me. The girl I want the most is in total denial. The girl that wants me the most has accepted that we are too different and is moving away with her new boyfriend. And the girl that thinks I'm lovely I cant be with and she thinks I don't care about her. I know she will read this and I do care very much.
All of this whiney strife is just a single frame in a roll of film. My friend and I will both be just fine and things will work out. By the time I blow all the money, fail at music, and find love again he will get rich and be alone.
I guess all we can do is get middle class jobs and marry women we don't love to tidy up the universe again.
My polar friend, I am not upset about vacation. I understand. You helped me sell my drum machine to pay you back when I had to borrow rent money and you even probaly lost a buck or two in the deal.
I am just sad because I didn't want to spend my first appropriately self-finaced vacation alone.
I will go somewhere because goddamn it, I finally can. I don't know where, and at this point who gives a fuck. I deserve a chance to dissappear and so do you and I'm glad that you will have New Year's.
I'm just not very good at being alone.
On an unrelated note, I just spent a great evening with an ex-girlfirend. We talked and laughed and she is really happy now. She is doing well and I am proud of her for getting off Paxil of her own free will. She taught me that chemistry is not enough to sustain a love relationship, but that it is why I will always love her and hope she proves me wrong and succeeds.
When I was absolutely broke, he was making good money. At that time I was in a relationship and he was very lonely.
Now he has love but no money and I have money but no love.
He is as stressed about paying bills as I used to be and I got my shit made.
He has a fantastic girl who brightens his life, but it's hard for him to be happy because he doesn't know what he is going to do with his life. He has spent hour after hour perfecting and submitting application after application with no word. Welcome to post college in the real world, my sweet friend.
For me that part is easier because I am absolutely audacious and naive enough to belive that if I keep working hard at music I will catch the collective ear.
His heart hurts becuase he feels like he is just a small fish in a pond that cannot catch a fly. I know he beleives in himself because he does not give up. Nor should he and I have told him how I belive in his absolute potential and I hope his girl has too.
My heart hurts because the only girls that belive in what I do are not the girls that touch my skin or kiss me or show me without words that I am a good man and that they appreciate me. The girl I want the most is in total denial. The girl that wants me the most has accepted that we are too different and is moving away with her new boyfriend. And the girl that thinks I'm lovely I cant be with and she thinks I don't care about her. I know she will read this and I do care very much.
All of this whiney strife is just a single frame in a roll of film. My friend and I will both be just fine and things will work out. By the time I blow all the money, fail at music, and find love again he will get rich and be alone.
I guess all we can do is get middle class jobs and marry women we don't love to tidy up the universe again.
My polar friend, I am not upset about vacation. I understand. You helped me sell my drum machine to pay you back when I had to borrow rent money and you even probaly lost a buck or two in the deal.
I am just sad because I didn't want to spend my first appropriately self-finaced vacation alone.
I will go somewhere because goddamn it, I finally can. I don't know where, and at this point who gives a fuck. I deserve a chance to dissappear and so do you and I'm glad that you will have New Year's.
I'm just not very good at being alone.
On an unrelated note, I just spent a great evening with an ex-girlfirend. We talked and laughed and she is really happy now. She is doing well and I am proud of her for getting off Paxil of her own free will. She taught me that chemistry is not enough to sustain a love relationship, but that it is why I will always love her and hope she proves me wrong and succeeds.