Jealousy

[mrwhite0809]

I am a fucking jealous and unreasonable person. I have been reading this book for my one class, The Dark Side of Close Relationships, and I just read a long chapter all about jealousy and envy. And I am a fucking jealous person. Pretty much when it comes to Steph, and we are not even in an official relationship. After having read the chapter, I am

Comments

[mrwhite0809]

Thanks for the reply Ros. Like I mentioned I have just been reading this book for my one class about all the dark things about close relationships, and it was a realization that I am indeed a very jealous person. And I do not like that about myself. Yes, I am afraid of the uncertain and the idea of losing her, but I always thought of myself better in control of my emotions and more importantly, my actions. And it isn't even a control thing all the time, some o f what I do is subconscious. So that is much harder to control. And when I think of it like that, what does that tell me about myself? Is that the type of person I really am? Makes me sad.

I probably would not use the word "consumed" to describe this right now, only because I think that has a negative connotation to it. And I am sure from an outside perspective such as yourself, it would appear that way. But really, she does a lot of good for me all the time. She is an amazing girl and I try to get her to see that as often as I can. She makes me incredibly happy and I truly feel that with her, I can do anything in the world.It is just occasionally I get frustrated with myself because of how I act and I shouldn't.

Yes, I am acting on emotion.

Sometimes I do find myself over reacting a lot when I have no need to worry. And I know she is really trying. It is just going to be hard, and we both know that. But she has been really good about the whole thing. It isn't easy getting over someone when you were together with them for 3ish years. And I know that, yet I seem to always forget to tell myself that when I get in these, well, anxious and depressed states.

And you are also right about we are our own worst enemy. I do think I deserve some of the stress all the time for past actions. I do have a problem with trying to love myself. You make an incredible amount of sense in this comment. Thank you very much Ros.