thought you get when resiveing a blowjob.....
I have been meaning to post this for a while it's a me and my good Friend Cortny were haveing a talk over the last bad brake up and she came to the conclushion that I thrive on depresshion, and she hit he nail on the head, everyone i have gone out with has said that i need a weak willed girl or a girl eger to plese me , but i only go after theys strong willed girls the no-apalogeys girls, the only way I know i want to realy be with a girl or have emtions with them is if i tell my self " wow this is going to hurt " to my self when i met them, I mean its not that odd some people get off by being flogged in cight clubs i get off by have ing my heartbroken what is more bizzare? tonight hits me like a tone of bricks , if you have made it this fair in to this entry plese commnent so i know who read it, Dr. Phil whould relate it to my parets relashionship how my mouther the sane one sticks with my father no matter what and trys to make it work , then i whould ask okay how do i fix it and he whould have no answer its as much as a part of me as being left handed i have felt dissdant i truely have , but its like Phantome Lime Sindrome, tonight i feal it ther even thow it isnt, fealing something that is not there that is exzacly how i feal i mean am i the only one who lingers on to long am im becouse that is exzacly what it is lingering, i remiber when i was was about 4-5 my parents use to take us on vacashion , now we were pour , pour as hell the only ression my mom took vacashion was so we chold fog the house for roachs but thay had a pool so me and my sister swam all day for the 2 days we where there, and i thought it was the greatest thing ever, i thought we were liveing the life 1 night in a hotel in columbia what more chould we ask for? bt we whould sime all day in the pool,m and i met this girl that i tryed realy hard to inpress i remimber diveing in off of the no dive side beting my chest like tarzane ans she lafed , in 5th grade i was asked out by Elizabeth Morison , she went out with me for a week i found out on the 7th day that it was all a bet, someone dared her to date me so she asked me out , there is a great qiout from the move Hight Fadelity " t would be nice to think that since I was 14, times have changed. Relationships have become more sophisticated. Females less cruel. Skins thicker. Instincts more developed. But there seems to be an element of that afternoon in everything that's happened to me since. All my romantic stories are a scrambled version of that first one" and nouthing is truer, 6th gread i had Drama Class with Christy Cox i had the hugest crush on her it lasted 3 years i didnt even think of anouther girl and she wanted nouthing of me , now we like in a school of 400 and we were part of the same click so it was kinda hard to avoid me, its hard to say that i just fallowed after her she did her fair shair of leading on one day she wrote " property of Christy" on my arm in the cafatira i showed it off to my friends liek it was a gold metel, i made a firned in Abby Blackstone who dated and is now marreid to Ike, Christy had a huge thing for Ike and Abby and Ike made up a sceme where he promices to go out with her if she whguodl go out with me, i knew of the plane and all of that but i still when trew with it but i wtill got what i had been wanting if that makes any sints witch it dosnt, then Marie came on that graduation day in 2000 and if you dont know about her you havent been reading , then Charlee now Ariel, Ariel posted " When I am Queen..Ill have my way" on myspace that was realy hurtful it hurt alot, that was mine and her thing that was like slinging the word rape around in front of a rape victem some thinds are just curdacwy it just all lingers if that natural? i remiber playing Tarzane, I remiber holding hand in sochial studys, i remiber getting lost in Charolette on the 3rd of Dec. 2000 i remimber tellin people " yea were b/f and g/f" I reimiber talking on the wall at USCL, I remimber walking on water at the park, why cant i jsut gorget? why? i have staredt talking to a girl from NY anouther proof that i love to long for people i am attracedt to her even tho i have veen folded before i feal good about thing , but who knows i hope she is he name is Kristy I call her Christy becosue to keep it in alfabetcal order Arielm Beth Cristy i hope thers no Dawn
